the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Grow up? Never!

I just became entirely too excited about finding a set of plastic toys for sale online. It's not just any cheap, crappy plastic toys, though. These cheap, crappy plastic toys are just what I've been lookin' for. The Monkeys and Apes Toob.

Some of you will doubtless be familiar with the concept of Toob, a set of themed plastic figurines packaged in a squared-off tube with a spinning globe in the lid. We found many of these collections in Wall Drug, but never the Monkeys and Apes Toob. Don't ask why we want those, specifically. Let's just say it has a lot to do with the garden, and 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Did you seriously think I could walk out of that tchotchke heaven empty handed, though?

For your viewing pleasure, and to give you even more reasons to snicker into your hand should I ever pass you on the street, I present a visual tour of the Ancient Egypt Toob and the Knights and Dragons Toob, romanticized via Photoshop.

egypt_toob2
The boy king is petulant tonight. Could it be because he has a dick on his chin?

egypt_toob1
You have no idea how tough it is to get all these prima donnas in one group shot.

egypt_toob3
Sadly, when you get to my age, arranging tchotchkes for a photo shoot will be your idea of hotel room fun and frolic.


dragon_toob3
The Toob is called Knights and Dragons, but there's really only one dragon per Toob. Lyin' cocksuckers.

dragon_toob1
I'm pullin' for the dragon.

dragon_toob2
If you couldn't tell, I'm in no rush to maturity.

18 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Stacey said...

Haha. My favorite is the Dino Toob. I am incapable of passing it in the store without buying it for some small boy I know so I can play with it for the first five minutes after he opens it...

Wait! What am I saying? Next toob will be just for me. Whoop!

11:33 PM, August 13, 2005  
Anonymous dazed and confuzed said...

I dunno Bucky... I am one of your biggest fans and I believe everything you write but today you made me reconsider. *I'M* never petulant when I have a dick on *MY* chin.

12:38 AM, August 14, 2005  
Anonymous dazed and confuzed said...

Well...USUALLY never petulant. Unless provoked.

12:41 AM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger SunDenine said...

I love the colors and the set up and especially how your flicker thingy looks right now! Very trippy!;)

1:01 AM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Spam. Wunnerful spam.

8:33 AM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

The spam, it makes my bladder hurt.
But...I hate to rule out anon comments. If I do that, June Cleaver might never visit again. Or Bill and Gloria Gaither. Or, ohhhh, man, or the Assless Chap.

I guess I'll just keep deletin' the spam. I'd miss my celebrity guests.

8:53 AM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I like-a da toys by the way. Toys is gewd.

9:47 AM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger mrtl said...

One dragon? Rip off.

9:50 AM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger Kassi said...

I seriously need to get in touch with my inner child...it's been way too long.

10:03 AM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger PlazaJen said...

Boy, I hope somebody comes up with the Rube Toob! It prolly comes with its own trailer park & lawn ornaments!

10:51 AM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger SierraBella said...

How about The Pimp and Ho Toob?

11:00 AM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger Deidre said...

Never heard of toobs. Now I want some too. Thank you for my new addiction.

12:04 PM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger mrtl said...

You are a weiner! Please send your address. :)

12:56 PM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

The e-mail said "Quick, you have to go to Bucky's site! She's got her toys out!"

Another dream shattered to shards ... (sigh)

2:28 PM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

Toob toys. Do you have to wear a toob top?

2:56 PM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Stacey - It's okay, you can always tell the clerk it's for a "friend." But don't do the quote marks with your fingers, dead giveaway.

Dazed - He's only petulant because he can't REACH the dick on his chin.

DP - if I can't make somethin' trippy out of toys, then I just don't want 'em.

Mr. B - I absolutely refuse to mature. My Babylon 5 figurines would be devastated.

Mrtl - I can't tell you how cheated I felt. Until I won your contest! I'm the luckiest Bucky in the whoooooole Cotillion!

Kassi - I tried to get in touch with my inner child and the little bastard bit me.

Plazajen - OH! I would buy that! Now I seriously want one...

Sierrabella - Ditto. I think we need to find somebody who will do custom Toobs for us. I feel a market bein' created here.

Deidre -always glad to spread the Tchotchke Obsession!

Nilbo - you wouldn't say that if you saw where I stored 'em after the photo session...

Eclectic - totally toobular. Then you have to watch the boob toob. And do the toob snake boogie.

5:03 PM, August 14, 2005  
Blogger Jomama said...

Don't laugh, but I have no idea what this toy is and the pictures were no help. I don't see a tube or a spinning globe. I'm going to have to do some google research because I am just confused :(

6:50 AM, August 15, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

I love toobs.

1:49 PM, August 15, 2005  

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