the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The bitch is back

Sorry, thought I'd keep in the Elton John mode with Squirl.

I have computer power now, of a sort. It's enough. I exchanged the hellishly defective power supply today. Imagine my delight when the LED actually lit up, and the power light on my laptop popped on when I plugged it in. Imagine my annoyance when my computer insisted on 90 watts instead of the 70 it was being supplied.

The good news is, it charged up my batteries, and seems to be continuing to do so as I work. I can live with this. I missed you guys!

Jim and I drove all the way across Minnesota on I-90. Here is my most enduring memory of Minnesota:

no peeing in minnesota

This is what we saw at every single rest stop along that stretch of highway in Minnesota. Every fucking one was closed. We decided Minnesota needed a new motto. Jim suggested "Minnesota: Get used to disappointment." My thought was "Minnesota: Cross your legs and move along now." No offense to any Minnesotans who may be reading this. Man, I hope Prince doesn't come 'round and thwack on me with his purple parasol. Well...on second thought, maybe I hope he does.

I am now in possession of power for my computer, a hairbrush, face powder, and underwear galore. More panties than you can shake a panty stick at. My wander through the mall made me bitchy as all fuckin' get out, and I can't say I wasn't sorely tempted when I turned the corner and beheld a tobacco shop. The little Devil Bucky on my shoulder kept sayin' "Awww, come on, nobody will know. It's just one. Don't be a pussy!" For the record, I put Smokin' Satan behind me and kept on goin'. But I did lust in my heart after those cigars. Say it with me: Ma-ca-nuuuuuuu-do. Mmmmmmmmm.

Did I mention that my toilet flooded yesterday morning, just before I left for class? It's not quite as disgusting as it sounds - the flushing mechanism had come detached, and my dumbass self decided it was a good idea to take the lid off the tank and do the flush by hand. Well, somebody who's a dumbass looked away at the wrong moment, for apparently too long a dumbass moment, and suddenly heard the water cascading from the tank onto the tile. That sound was followed by an enthusiastic dumbass tabernacle choir chorus of "Motherfucker!"s and "Cocksucker!"s and a mad scramble for towels.

Luckily, maintenance worked their magic, and my toilet flushes like a good little toilet now. I was so happy I began to emit a heavenly glow, as evidenced by this picture:

This should be a good start to my campaign for sainthood.

I'm sure I had more to say, but now that I have the chance, damned if I can think of it. I may, in fact, be back later. I may be a serial poster tonight. If I can't have my cigars, dammit, at least let me blog!

26 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Annejelynn said...

I like your motto better than Jim's

9:58 PM, July 13, 2005  
Blogger Annejelynn said...

blogging is definitely the healthier choice! (no cigar for you my dear)

9:59 PM, July 13, 2005  
Blogger Tardist said...

Glad you're back and have POWER to your computer! Hope your luck keeps getting better. Sounds like a lot of aggravation since your "vacation" ended.

9:59 PM, July 13, 2005  
Blogger c said...

Underwear Galore!

She's my favorite Bond girl!

Oh, wait...that was Pussy Galore, huh?

My bad.

10:31 PM, July 13, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

I am disoriented. Where are you? What are you doing there? What panty classes? Can you hear me now?

10:34 PM, July 13, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I think Jim’s slogan actually fits Kentucky. So if yours gets voted for the big M, we’ll take his slogan.

Nice barrel by the way.

10:47 PM, July 13, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Annejelynn - at least you didn't take away my soup!

Tardist - I can't bitch too much, because my vacation was so delightful, but I have had a bit of weird luck since. Glad to see you posted again!

Misfit - but what else would you put into underwear galore?

Susie - I don't know if I can help you with your disorientation, as I have often been called "dizzy" meself. I am in Chicago training to be an even bigger geek than I already am (meaning this class is in prep for a certification exam). The panties are not actually a required part of the class, but I'm sure everyone there appreciates if I have 'em on anyway. And clean ones at that!

Mr. B - Maybe Jim and I should start a business - "State Mottos R Us"

11:39 PM, July 13, 2005  
Blogger Closet Metro said...

You should have hauled ass a little north of I-90, cruised into Minneapolis, and I could have found new ways to show you Minnesotan Dissapointment.

11:49 PM, July 13, 2005  
Blogger Candy said...

Chicago, hmmm that city sounds familiar for some reason, Chicago, Chicago, hmmm nope cant place it.

Wish I knew more about geography

12:18 AM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Closet - see, I'll bet I wouldn't be disappointed at all, 'cause I bet at least you'd let us use your bathroom!

Jess - You're a cheeky monkey.

12:38 AM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Jomama said...

Hey Bucky Two Eyes, I almost didn't recognize you without the glasses hiding your face. You have a very pretty face :)

And good for you for not smoking!

6:45 AM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

If and when you get to Indiana, please mention "no driving skills."

6:47 AM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

OH, Geek School. OK, now I understand. Carry on. And don't miss the museum there -- what is it, the Art Institute of Chicago? I think that's the name. Play hooky from Geek School if you have to ;)

6:50 AM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Danielle said...

Your stronger than me, I would have smoked like a chimney!!

8:27 AM, July 14, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bucky - couple things...first of all, what's a 'panty stick' and is it what I THINK it is? Secondly, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar...but usually not.

Hmmm...panty stick...cigar...OK, we all know where MY brain is.

Welcome back, Bucky! We missed you. Mr. B was weepin' all over the place and jessicarabbit had to smack him around to get him to stop. Susie kept rocking back and forth, muttering "assless chaps...assless chaps" and I won't even go INTO what squirl did. (Sorry guys - I had to squeal on ya)

9:03 AM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Kitty said...

Bucky's got the POWA!

1. I'm so proud of you - you managed to survive an excess amount of midwestern driving! Personally, I would rather shoot myself than drive through any midwestern state during my favorite of the two seasons up here -"construction" rather than "winter".

2. Hearing that you discarded the dangerous advice of Smoking Satan makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I wish I had your strength!

3. "Enthusiastic dumbass tabernacle choir chorus" - crack me up! So that's what came out of my mouth when I accidentally flushed my favorite hand towel down the john... I never had quite the words for it before :). Thank you! I have one of those jet powered super "KAAaaflllLLUUUUSSHHHHH" toilets in my apartment. Ya know, the kind that will suck down a chiuahua if given the chance. I've lost many a bathroom necessity in that thing. Candle holder, lipsticks, hair accessories, that towel... ahh...

9:13 AM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Kitty said...

Squirl was so detached from all that is "Bucky and Right" that she started taking pictures of my ass and saying explatives on Jess' site.


Of course I had to post the posterior pic.

9:15 AM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

So happy you're able to post again! I like da pic. I can just picture the toilet fiasco with the tabernacles and all.

Yes, I did take a picture when Kitty mooned me. She linked to it at her site. And yes, I used the F-word at Jess's site. You see, I say that word out loud a lot. I just don't type it very often, you know, that's evidence.

9:28 AM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Oh, and thanks for the link.

9:29 AM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

Woohoo--Bucky has POWER, POWDER and PANTIES--let's have a party!

10:16 AM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Bucky, we haven't seen a CD list mix lately. 'sup, yo?!

10:51 AM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Amy said...

Sorry bout your toilet and the cigar blues, but it sounds like you are above all that now anyways.

Long Live Super-Bucky.

12:05 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

I am glad you're back, although sorry to hear your panties stick. Or maybe aroused to hear that.

I want to go on record as being opposed to flushing chihuahuas down the toilet, no matter how fun it might seem at the time.

And good on you for putting Satan behind you. Just don't bend over. That is NOT a cigar.

12:46 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Kranki said...

So glad you and your heavenly glow are up and running. Even if it is at a lower wattage.

12:47 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger SierraBella said...

"Minnesota: If you can't stand up and pee at the side of the highway, then just go home!"

Glad you got a bunch of panties rather than your panties in a bunch!

3:47 PM, July 14, 2005  
Blogger Unknown said...

Congrats on the lack of ciggies m'darling - as long as I can't have one you can't either!

missed you during your powerless time, but good to know you were having fun with panties.

8:31 AM, July 16, 2005  

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