the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Get a leg up

I often listen to the news while I'm doin' my grooming in the morning. Once in a while, a story will draw me into the living room to see the images to go with the story. This is one of those.

A Midland, MI man alleges that his girlfriend beat him with his own prosthetic leg during an argument Wednesday night. When he tried to flee the house (the prosthetic leg she had was one of his spares), according to a witness, she pursued him with the leg in hand, continuing to beat him as he fled.

His girlfriend is facing assault (with a dangerous weapon) and larceny charges, as she apparently attempted to steal the prosthetic leg.

If you don't believe me, you can read the news story here. Truth be told, I wish I had thought of it, because I suspect I could sell the story to David Lynch.

18 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Squirl said...

I to read that one to Ichabod. That brings up some great Lynch-esque visuals.

That bitch beat you to it. Too bad you couldn't get a leg up on this one.

8:19 AM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

At first, I thought, Get outta here! I have heard of this kinda thing, before, though. I think I saw on COPS one time (I watch because I don't get to family reunions that often ;) this woman stole her man's arm and wouldn't return it.

8:25 AM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Torrie said...

That is perfect.
Sometimes life is the best comedy.

10:43 AM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

Real life can and does many times beat, anything you could make up.

11:00 AM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger said...

Kind a duece bigalow esque eh?

11:06 AM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Squirl - did you look at the link? They're both scary lookin' crackers.

Susie - Whatever happened to "take another little piece of my heart"? Whoever said anything about arms and legs?

Torrie - I have to think these are exactly the kind of people who would say "Who's the boss? Tony Danza!" *thwack* in bed.

Nanina - "beat" being the operative word, of course.

Jeff's place - I have to think it was Deuce inspired. That's what lets me sleep at night.

12:39 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Oh, and for anyone who doesn't get my Tony Danza ref to Torrie, you must immediately go read her post which explains this here.
You will thank me for sending you.

12:41 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Schmootzie said...

They left out the part that he's been spanking her with her own breast implant for a few months now. She couldn't take it anymore.

12:57 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Kranki said...

I have had days where I wish I could take somebody's leg off and beat them with it. How satifying.

1:33 PM, August 06, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG. I'm having these weird visions of cannibalistic Colonel Sanders' running (no pun intended) through my brain.

Oh..and Torrie? I am sending that post on your blog to everyone I know. I am smarter because of it.

1:53 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger SierraBella said...

... and they say us Californicators are crazy!
I'm adding Michigan to my 'must see' list.

3:30 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Torrie said...

I'm all about education.

3:53 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Candy said...

I have to read this to nick, he is going to pee himself laughing, ill send you the cleaning bill.

5:06 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Schmootz - that is so WRONG, and I cannot help but picture it, in graphic detail...NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Kranki - you gotta, uh, hand it to her. Who among us hasn't been tempted to beat somebody with his own prosthetic leg?

Dazed - you just guessed the secret recipe.

Sierrabella - we have our fair share of living freak shows in Mich. They let me live here, after all...

Torrie - that's why we call you Professor.

Jess - just make sure he's naked and sitting on plastic when you read it to him. Pee crisis averted!

8:06 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Maven said...

Something so ironic about a man getting his ass kicked by his own (prosthetic) leg. I love it. I am quickly adding it to my arsenal of paybacks... hypothetically speaking of course! OF COURSE!

9:10 AM, August 07, 2005  
Blogger Lori Denine and her cat said...

Gettin'a leg up.

So that there's how hootin nannies do it in the Middle a mishguns Land? Damn Buckin4Times...better buckup" on secur'ty over there.

2:43 PM, August 07, 2005  
Blogger Madame D said...

Dear god. I think I'm going to change that order of a golf club to pack around and menace people with to prosthetic limb.
Arm or leg, either will do.

5:35 PM, August 07, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Nugget - I have to think it might be useful at some point...

GW - Point taken to heart, and now I'll run it up the flagpole and see who cheroots.

Madame D - I have to think accessorizing with a prosthetic arm would be the better choice for a delicate flower such as yourself. Maybe something with an opera glove. Then you can slap the shit outta somebody with panache.

9:48 AM, August 08, 2005  

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