the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Lazy Bucky's Quickies - the better-get-a-post-up-in-June edition

So...we meet again. Let me give it to you in bursts, baby.

  • After three years of reluctantly hustling and hawking cell phones, batteries, and whatever the hell those little metal things in the plastic bags are, I worked my final shift in Commission Sales Land this evening. I'd been pondering wearing the most bizarre hair accessories I could find for my special night, but instead decided to put on some makeup and wear clean socks; that threw everyone off balance. There are some people I will miss, co-workers, managers, and even a few customers; there are many more customers and maybe one past co-worker who will not be missed at all as I skip away from the cash register with a song in my heart and a glee club in my pants. I'll probably have much more to say about all this at some point, because you know I just can't shut the fuck up.

  • Consequently, it's a party up in here. Let's rock it like Mom and Dad are on vacation!

  • Things I may have said to the cats lately:

    "Favor me with a glance."
    "Thirteen - NO!"
    "Dammit, how do you always find the nipples?"
    "Cheeks so velvety they had to have their own song!"
    "Stop biting my feet!"
    "Are you mommy's little biscuit barrel?"

    I can't even begin to fathom why I don't get laid.

  • School is whipping my withered brain back into shape with a quick-time harch. ("I love quick-time harch!" Tell me what movie that's from and I'll give you five Brain Points.) There's a lot of reading (textbooks and scripts), analysis, peer review, and writing. Lots of writing, and that's only going to increase as I draw ever closer my completed thesis project (a full-length feature screenplay, in my case). To be sure, I've already had several private meltdowns when deadline and inspiration weren't working in tandem, but sometimes I pull brilliant things out of my ass. Apparently, there's a library in my ass. Everything is cataloged in accordance with the Doody Decimal System.

  • Songs that should be used in commercials:
    Pointer Sisters: I'm So Excited. I've long thought this should be used in an ad for Depends. I envision a chorus line of senior citizens, doing the can-can and singing I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it; I'm about to lose control, and I think I like it!
    Natalie Imbruglia: Torn. This would be perfect to advertise a sexual lubricant. A woman dejectedly puts band-aids on her ass as the soundtrack plays: You're a little late; I'm already torn.