the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Lazy Bucky's Quickies - the better-get-a-post-up-in-June edition

So...we meet again. Let me give it to you in bursts, baby.

  • After three years of reluctantly hustling and hawking cell phones, batteries, and whatever the hell those little metal things in the plastic bags are, I worked my final shift in Commission Sales Land this evening. I'd been pondering wearing the most bizarre hair accessories I could find for my special night, but instead decided to put on some makeup and wear clean socks; that threw everyone off balance. There are some people I will miss, co-workers, managers, and even a few customers; there are many more customers and maybe one past co-worker who will not be missed at all as I skip away from the cash register with a song in my heart and a glee club in my pants. I'll probably have much more to say about all this at some point, because you know I just can't shut the fuck up.

  • Consequently, it's a party up in here. Let's rock it like Mom and Dad are on vacation!

  • Things I may have said to the cats lately:

    "Favor me with a glance."
    "Thirteen - NO!"
    "Dammit, how do you always find the nipples?"
    "Cheeks so velvety they had to have their own song!"
    "Stop biting my feet!"
    "Are you mommy's little biscuit barrel?"

    I can't even begin to fathom why I don't get laid.

  • School is whipping my withered brain back into shape with a quick-time harch. ("I love quick-time harch!" Tell me what movie that's from and I'll give you five Brain Points.) There's a lot of reading (textbooks and scripts), analysis, peer review, and writing. Lots of writing, and that's only going to increase as I draw ever closer my completed thesis project (a full-length feature screenplay, in my case). To be sure, I've already had several private meltdowns when deadline and inspiration weren't working in tandem, but sometimes I pull brilliant things out of my ass. Apparently, there's a library in my ass. Everything is cataloged in accordance with the Doody Decimal System.

  • Songs that should be used in commercials:
    Pointer Sisters: I'm So Excited. I've long thought this should be used in an ad for Depends. I envision a chorus line of senior citizens, doing the can-can and singing I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it; I'm about to lose control, and I think I like it!
    Natalie Imbruglia: Torn. This would be perfect to advertise a sexual lubricant. A woman dejectedly puts band-aids on her ass as the soundtrack plays: You're a little late; I'm already torn.

8 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Jim said...

Madeline Kahn and I BOTH love quicktime harch (History of the World Part I) and I also love that your life is getting it to be exactly where you want it to be, Missy Pants!

10:33 PM, June 30, 2011  
Blogger Jim said...

And the soundtrack comments...hi-larious. Someone should use Blondie's Rip Her to Shreds for Planned Parenthood.

10:35 PM, June 30, 2011  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Ding ding ding ding! Brain Points for Jim! An extra five points for the Blondie comment.

10:42 PM, June 30, 2011  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"There's a library in my ass" was worth the price of admission.

12:39 AM, July 01, 2011  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Susie - and you have a library card which never expires!

8:08 AM, July 01, 2011  
Blogger Squirl said...

Yeah the library in your ass brought a true LOL here at work. Thirteen - NO is such a common phrase and I've said it, too. And, of course, there's the velvety cheeks of Stella to be considered.

All in all, I'm so glad you're done with that stupid job and that school has been challenging in a fun, creative way for you. So. Proud!!!

8:27 AM, July 01, 2011  
Blogger Jim said...

But don't you have to PROVE you're a citizen of Bucky's ass in order to GET a library card?

8:28 AM, July 01, 2011  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Squirl - Oh, those velvety cheeks. Yup. Welcome to your little sister completing her transformation into Mom.

Izzat Jim being unknown again? Everyone is a citizen of my ass. Bring a friend.

11:37 PM, July 01, 2011  

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