the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Sunday, August 04, 2013

Spoiled as the cats

In Adventure Tchotchkes! #36, you were offered the chance to vote for your favorite: Banana Hammock vs. Cookie Nipples. It was a Romancing the Stone face-in-your-crotch landslide in favor of Cookie Nipples. Poor Banana Hammock only received one pity vote, and that was cast verbally. So, with 80% of the popular vote, and 100% of the Ebucktoral votes, Cookie Nipples won the right to be featured doing his thing on Monday.


Cookie Nipples has turned out to be as much of a diva as that biker dude with the sad eyes, and insists that "his thing" cannot be properly captured in a comic. He demands more. I would slap him down and dismantle him roughly but for one thing: he's hidden all the batteries I've stockpiled. Clever little bastard knows I'm too cheap to go out and buy more when I have bricks of them on standby. For, uh, the remotes and stuff. So, out of laziness and stubbornness, I am giving in to his demands. The little wooden terrorists have won.

I'm hoping to have "his thing" ready by Thursday, because I'll be really pissed if I have to buy batteries anytime before the year 2015.

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