the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Friday, July 31, 2009

It's that time of the month

Damn, how did I get to this point, this "oh, crap, it's the last day of the month and I haven't posted anything" point? Maybe I should start a policy of drunken blogging; the content might not make sense, but there would be content.

The last couple of weeks have been a blur, as the hammer came down on my store and we closed shop. The company has been assuring us for months and months, "Oh, yeah, we're gonna move you to a better location in town, we wouldn't just close your store, heavens, no!" Sure. And the Tooth Fairy is gonna respect me in the morning. I know bullshit when I hear it.

We had two weeks to pack up every last bit of merchandise in the place and ship it out to other stores, remove all the shelving and fixtures, and sweep and vacuum a building that is going to be demolished in a few days. Up until mid-day last Saturday, we were also doing all this with customers coming in to make purchases from our ever-dwindling inventory. Some of them felt the need to come in to gawk and generally get right in our way as we were trying to get shit done. We so desperately needed Officer Barbrady to come in with a cattle prod. "Nothing to see here, move along, all you lookie-loos." Really, folks - if watching a few people pack up a store is your idea of entertainment, I would suggest going home and jabbing a crab fork into your eyes; it's the next logical step.

Even after we put a sign on the door that explained the fact that we were closed, people would not stop coming in and asking about it, as if the sign were some kind of joke and we were withholding their precious batteries. Customers would phone us, and on average, would make us repeat "No, this location is no longer in business" at least five times during the conversation. Yes, we're closed, so get the fuck out of my way and have a blessed day.

It's all been a bit more physical work than I'm used to; it's made me realize, "Hey! I'm a middle-aged woman who's grossly out of shape!" And then I go get some pizza. Yesterday, we finally got the dumpster that we'd been trying to acquire for days, and the only two of us who were on site that day happened to be the two oldest employees in the store. I have to say, though, that the two of us kicked ass, kicked paunchy, varicose-veined, silver-haired ass. My muscles are still not on speaking terms with me, my knees are on strike, and my feet are in negotiations with a different, younger body, but the worst of my injuries out of all that lifting and tossing is the giant hole I ripped in the armpit of my RENT t-shirt when I hooked it with a bracket attached to the rather weighty shelf I was tossing over the side of the dumpster. If that shelf had been half an inch closer to my body when I heaved it up and over, I'd be typing this with stitches in my side.

Starting tomorrow, I'll be working at another of our locations. My drive will be half an hour instead of seven to ten minutes, but at least they're keeping me, and I'll no longer be working with Annoying Boy. Today we wrapped things up, took the last of the keep-it crap out of the building, and shut off the lights for the last time. Last Sunday was my one-year anniversary at this job, but I really didn't think I harbored any sentimentality toward the location, save for the fact that it was a short commute. But damned if I didn't spill some tears as I was driving out of the lot.

Shit, I'm gonna miss that crappy little store!

8 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Anonymous Susie said...

I'm so happy you liked it enough to cry. (That's a shitty comment, but I promise you the sentiment behind it is loving.)
Here's hoping there are fun, delightful, smart, charming co-workers at the new place.

11:32 PM, July 31, 2009  
Blogger eclectic said...

It's great to find out within only a year that you've actually been in a good situation, but irritating to figure it out only as it's changing. Aaargh!

I'm with Susie: here's hoping for smart, charming, funny and only minimally annoying co-workers at the new place. And if not, well hopefully you'll at least get some great blog fodder out of the misery, eh?

1:17 AM, August 01, 2009  
Blogger Squirl said...

Aw, I understand about the crying part. Heck, I cried when Nazi-boy got fired.

I'm glad you felt up to coming over for pizza and beer last night. Hope you don't have to do any physically challenging work until your muscles heal.

12:18 PM, August 01, 2009  
Blogger Kranki said...

I hear the sound of a new adventure. Can you hear it? Can ya? I sure can!

1:20 PM, August 01, 2009  
Anonymous Flying Mermaid said...

Well, shit, I thought this was headed toward you saying you're outta work again, so I'm glad it ain't that, though I can't believe you've been there a year already. But then, what do I know about time? Don't even wanna think how long our mothers have been gone, mine this month.

8:33 PM, August 01, 2009  
Blogger Kevin M. Folta said...

Glad to see you are alive and well. I shed the Schmootzie clown suit and took up a productive life of science.

I'll be lurking.

11:12 PM, August 04, 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


...just thought it would be fun to stop by your blog for old times sake...

Anyhow, 'Welcome to Retail'.

Whoever said that, remains, anonmynous.

Ann A. n'Mo. Nist

5:30 PM, August 05, 2009  
Anonymous Lou said...

If you are so "grossly out of shape", may I suggest delivering the pizza?

5:34 PM, August 05, 2009  

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