the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Saturday, April 30, 2005

How many candles can a Squirl blow out?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SQUIRL!

Yes, it's true, today is the blessed day upon which my sister, Squirl, was brought forth into this world, her furry little tail held close to her body, her whiskers twitching...

I'm only guessin' about the details, of course, since I wasn't quite born yet when Squirl was shot forth from Mom's Tunnel of Love. Squirl, Tardist, you can thank me later for that visual.

A more patient and informative big sister cannot be found, I think. Squirl put up with me when I would run up to every boy she brought home and scream "Are you gonna marry my sister?" She still loved me after I pushed the cat into the shower with her that time. Yeah, Squirl, I know I always told you Tene fell in the shower, but I'm confessing here: it was a shove. And your shriek was completely worth it. Sorry! I'd planned to be nice here.

She made sure I was armed with explicit knowledge about birth control when I was a teenager. Squirl, I have never, ever, ever, not even once, done the dirty without protection of some kind. Thank you for my lack of pregnancy. The last thing the world has ever needed is a Bucky Mini-Me.

I hope this post will make up for the fact that I'm a dreadful little sister and did not get you a card. If, in fact, this post is not sufficient, then I shall expect secret laxative in my next rum cake.

Happy birthday, Squirlie Girlie! I'd tell you I love you, but then people would think we're makin' out and stuff. Aw hell, let 'em think it -- I love you, sis!

17 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Squirl said...

I know you did all those things, but that's just my little Bucky. How could anybody stay mad at you? You had that quick wit and excellent (read sick) sense of humor. No one had an imagination like you either.

And who else was going to tell you about sex and drugs. Rock n roll was up to you, though.

If you ever come over for a visit again I will make a rum cake sans ex-lax.

I love you, too, sis. I'll take a blog written for me over a card any day. :-)

8:31 PM, April 30, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

Man, it's like $4 for a card. Crack open the wallet, for God's sake. What, is Abe Lincoln gonna squint from the light ...?

8:46 PM, April 30, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

sobbing I love you two so much...I wish I had a sister...

There. Now that that's taken care of, Bucky, picking up on the theme that you and your co-horts began in dooceville, would you kindly post a photograph of Jim's ass? You know, for my scrapbook: Body Parts of Blogfriends and their Mates. Thank you.

9:04 PM, April 30, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Yes I demand body parts as well.

And I think your a very nice sister.


But apperantly very cruel to cats.

Happy birthday squirl!

9:32 PM, April 30, 2005  
Blogger Amy said...

Eep! A cat in the shower! Bucky you little bratwurst.

Happy Birthday Squirl! I like your blog card, it's the new Hallmark.

9:48 PM, April 30, 2005  
Blogger greatwhitebear said...

Nilbo: The Abe Lincoln line was great, wish I'd thought of it!

Bucky: You are a very good (but slighlty frugal) sister!

Squirl: once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

11:04 PM, April 30, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Thanks, everyone for the birthday wishes. Thanks again to Bucky, without whom my life would be incomplete. Do you guys know how long I had to wait to get a sister?

11:17 PM, April 30, 2005  
Blogger Torrie said...

I am drunk and I like you.

12:57 AM, May 01, 2005  
Blogger Kitty said...

Best birthday card ever...

Front cover: "You are such a great friend... blah blah blah... you have always been there for me through hard times and good... love... blah... blah..."

Inside: But now I have real problems. I need to figure out how to get the blood stains out of my clown costume and the pussy smell out of my ski mask. Happy Birthday!

But seriously though... if anyone on this earth deserves another year of happiness - it's Squirl. Happy birthday!!!!!!!

Well, belated now. Oh well. I'm such a bitch.

1:32 AM, May 01, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

Joyeux Anniversaire...Bonne compleanno...Froh Geburtstag.

Happy Birthday Squirlness!

6:47 AM, May 01, 2005  
Anonymous La Pix said...

Happy Birthday Squirl!

I will share my niece's favorite joke with you as a birthday present.

How do you make friends with a squirl?

Climb a tree and act like a nut!

Personally I know how to protect the nuts, and crack nuts, but... what does a nut do anyway? Just hang out?

Do squirls really like nuts anyway?

2:29 PM, May 01, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

La Pix, thanks! Depends on the definition of nuts...

3:07 PM, May 01, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Nilbo - well, not so much cheap as prematurely senile. I figgered I could either write this post and have Squirl see it on her b'day, or buy a card and have her get it Tuesday. ;)

Susie, Jess, I will tell Jim y'all are hankerin' for a peek at him in the assless chaps. 'Course, it's his legs that are really stunning, if you wanna know the truth. Hockey legs. Ice skating legs. Rowr!

Amy, I think we should start a new line of greeting cards called Skidmark. Anybody?

Torrie - okay, I get the drunk part, but who do you like? Me? Squirl? Nilbo the Friendly Flasher? And if it's me, will you still like me when you're sober?

Bear, I still need to get you my top ten playlist. I ain't forgotten you, boy.

Kitty...where, oh, where, do I get a copy of this card? I MUST HAVE IT!

Opera gal - now you're just confusin' me.

La Pix - Nuts, they can be decorative or functional. Depends on how hard you kick start 'em.

And now, happy AfterBirthday, Squirl!

4:34 PM, May 01, 2005  
Anonymous lawbrat said...

Very nice. Happy Birthday Squirl. I have 2 sisters, but we're not nearly that close. Its nice to see when sisters are friends.

6:39 PM, May 01, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Thanks, Bucky. I still like my birthday post. Anybody can send a card, right?

And thanks, Lawbrat. Maybe when there's a nine-year difference in ages it's easier to be friends as sisters.

6:45 PM, May 01, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

What? No noise makers and kickin' hats? The ROLLER SKATING birthday party I went to yesterday didn't have them either!

Parties SUCK!

7:09 PM, May 01, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

yeah, lawbrat, I'm not close to my sister either - we have nothing in common.

9:18 PM, May 01, 2005  

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