How many candles can a Squirl blow out?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SQUIRL!

Yes, it's true, today is the blessed day upon which my sister, Squirl, was brought forth into this world, her furry little tail held close to her body, her whiskers twitching...

I'm only guessin' about the details, of course, since I wasn't quite born yet when Squirl was shot forth from Mom's Tunnel of Love. Squirl, Tardist, you can thank me later for that visual.

A more patient and informative big sister cannot be found, I think. Squirl put up with me when I would run up to every boy she brought home and scream "Are you gonna marry my sister?" She still loved me after I pushed the cat into the shower with her that time. Yeah, Squirl, I know I always told you Tene fell in the shower, but I'm confessing here: it was a shove. And your shriek was completely worth it. Sorry! I'd planned to be nice here.

She made sure I was armed with explicit knowledge about birth control when I was a teenager. Squirl, I have never, ever, ever, not even once, done the dirty without protection of some kind. Thank you for my lack of pregnancy. The last thing the world has ever needed is a Bucky Mini-Me.

I hope this post will make up for the fact that I'm a dreadful little sister and did not get you a card. If, in fact, this post is not sufficient, then I shall expect secret laxative in my next rum cake.

Happy birthday, Squirlie Girlie! I'd tell you I love you, but then people would think we're makin' out and stuff. Aw hell, let 'em think it -- I love you, sis!