the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Thursday, June 01, 2006

I believe in miracles

Dear Diary:

Though I realize I am not flatchested, I've never thought of myself as a busty girl. The way I saw it, Squirl got the boobs in the family, and I got the filthy mouth.

For the longest time, I've been guessing at my size, and wearing a 38 C. Well, I was recently informed by Jess that my bras are too small, as my nipples are always trying to jump overboard, even in the Vickie's Secret pushups for which I shelled out $45 (that's $22.50 per boob).

Today, I had a visit from the Bra Fairy. She came into my room with about a half dozen of her bras for me, D cup bras. D cup, people. D as in delightful debauchery. I was sure they would be too massive on my breasteses, which are nothing in comparison to her magnificent bazongas. Mine are just middle-aged funbags, where hers are the boobs of legend, the kind of cha cha bingos for which men gladly go off to war, the tits that launched a thousand ships. I would surely be swimming in these enormous boulder holders, would certainly have space for rent, would definitely have room to smuggle kittens next to my puppies in those things.

They fit me. They fit me well. Do you know what this means, good and purehearted people of the Internet as a Whole? Let me whisper it as modestly as I'm able...

I'M A FUCKIN' D CUP! MY TITS ARE OFFICIALLY ENORMOUS! WOOHOOOOOO!

I would jump up and down and do cartwheels from the excitement of it all, but I certainly don't want to give myself a black eye. Oh, yes - I will be impossible to live with for a while now. At least, until I start exercising in earnest. Then, I fear, I will not only shed the inches I need to lose around my waist, but I will also forsake my precious D cups that I only now realized I possessed.

Or maybe I'll just eat some more cake and ice cream, and then be distracted by my own breasts.

28 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger eddie said...

glad to hear they grew

1:37 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Awww your so cute.

You can have some of my boobs if they get smaller, I have way way extra to go around. Unfortunelty they dont make DDD at Vickis so Im still poppin out...

2:27 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Megan said...

I went from B to DD after I had kids. I'm back down to C but I would give ANYTHING to have my nice little Bs back.

6:01 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

Whooo! D cups!
I'll offer you some of mine-I feel Jess's pain that they pay no attention to those of us with...well, more boobs that I really need.

6:47 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger hemlock said...

Holy cow, Bucky... a D??? WOW. Only in my little girl dreams am I ever a D.

Careful with those puppies.

7:27 AM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, lets see some photos...

8:27 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Kat said...

You should feel lucky. People pay good money for D's. Personally, I'd be happier with a C - less uni-boob in the sports bra.

8:28 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

I told you they weren't that small. You just were always wearing the wrong bras. Good for Jess for showing you the proper bras for your puppies.

9:10 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Congrats on the boobage for your birthday!

*sigh*

yeah... C's would be nice...

9:11 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Jim said...

OMG I'M A D-CUP TOO!

9:49 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

1. Goodgosh, I love Jim :)
2. Isn't it amazing that you can live to be of a ahem, certain age, and not know what size bra you wear? Not having direct access to Jess, I had to rely on my girl Oprah, and I learned this year that I am actually a cup up from what I have always believed. I would have bet big money that there's no way, but . . . she's Oprah, so of course she was right.
Congratulations, Bucky :)

10:08 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Balulah said...

See what happens when you wear girl clothes! It's just like the Grinch, only with boobs!

10:27 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger OneCrueGirl said...

So is your blog name changing to BuckyBigBoobs or what? I too pine for the Cs...but without a couple grand per mam, Bs they are!

10:31 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger eclectic said...

/slinking outta here with my not-quite-enough-to-fill-an-A-cup little titties before anyone notices.

11:07 AM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Effie said...

So Bucky's got big bouncy bazongas too?

Where do I get me a set of those....

12:44 PM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger AlRo said...

Congrats on your arrival to Bozonga heaven!!!

1:41 PM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Nilbo said...

I'm from Missouri.

2:32 PM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Effie said...

Oh Nilbo--you make me laugh and laugh....

4:26 PM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger blogirl said...

You are funny, I thought the same thing for ever until last year my crazy stripper neighbor came to my house bearing gifts and I went from a 36 c to a 32 dd in seconds. You will find yourself admiring your sweater with a whole new passion! Take the puppies to the park and let them run free!

5:12 PM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

Blogirl's comment made me wonder if you went down from the 38 band size while your cup size went up...that is usually the case. I had Ds once upon a brief time, then I lost weight and am now with the Bs, but I doubt that I'm wearing the right bra size...unfortunately I have yet to find a bra size determiner that works for me.

Congrats on the wonderful revelation!

8:27 PM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

*gives Eclectic some excess boobage*
Here you go, Sweetie.

It's all a part of our "No boob left behind" program.
Or was that "Don't eat the dip, you don't know where it's been"?
I'll work on that...yah. I will.

9:53 PM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

Gotta stop falling asleep in front of the tv. Geesh!

9:55 PM, June 01, 2006  
Blogger hellokittn said...

Welcome to the club :).

10:36 PM, June 01, 2006  
Anonymous Mark W. said...

Them puppies done growed up ta be dawgs like theys spoda.

8:35 AM, June 02, 2006  
Blogger Nina said...

It sounds to me that your boobs are going to be happy they are not squished anymore.
Even if I put a C cup on and wished with all my might . . . I better not hold my breath. :)

2:39 PM, June 02, 2006  
Blogger limpy99 said...

"sob" I'm just so happy for you

3:16 PM, June 02, 2006  
Anonymous Mabulous said...

If you're enormous, then I wonder what that makes me - I'm a 32F.

Dolly Parton, I suppose. Sigh.

2:07 AM, June 03, 2006  
Anonymous MommyGoddess said...

Dear, sweet Bucky... if yours get smaller, you can DEFINITELY have some of mine. After pregnancy, mine NEVER GOT SMALLER... and they were full DD's to BEGIN with. So now I try to see my feet past G's. G's!!! You can TAKE THEM.

And Jess? I've outgrown FREDERICK'S. At least you still have THAT option. Yikes.

10:31 PM, June 05, 2006  

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