the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Frisk my blog

Okay, first of all - this cracks me the fuck up.

Now, on to the rest of the show:

It's been far too long since I've revealed some of the bizarre and disgusting search terms people use to find my bizarre and disgusting blog. I'm sure you've been on the edge of your collective seats awaiting this post. Or not. Really, though...whaddya want me to do as a follow-up act to King Tut's dick?

  • labia (note: this is repeated several times throughout my stats)
  • waxed monkey (note: that reminds me...I need to call the day spa...)
  • "up my ass" (note: I can't possibly imagine why this would lead people to my completely un-assified site)
  • cunts (note: what are ya sayin'?)
  • chicks with dicks (note: isn't that a country band?)
  • bunny ass (note: furry and tasty)
  • hairstyles for cotillion (note: I was truly offended by that one)
  • kielbasa queen (note: no real surprise there, just wanted you to know it's still always on the list, multiple times)
  • dort highway pimp (note: my secret identity)
  • barbell nipple (note: that'd be quite a workout)
  • pornimation (note: I never knew that category existed - sweeet!)
  • kielbasa swallow (note: aha! A kielbasa variation!)
  • "sideways ass" (note: wouldn't that sound hilarious if I fell down the stairs naked like in that Cramps song?)
  • bouffant cap (note: I knew my bouffant obsession would catch up with me sooner or later)
  • naked captain and tennille (note: for the record, the Captain was never naked here)
  • teehee monkey video (note: oh, never mind)
  • 18 inch kielbasa (note: maybe I should just put some kielbasa in the masthead next time)
  • bra "unhook" (note: followed immediately by breast "fondling"?)
  • "leper porn" (note: aaaaah, someone finally understands the true purpose of this blog)
  • bunny genitalia (note: see bunny ass)
  • vagina pet names (note: I call mine Loopy Lips for fun)
  • phallic symbols in commercials
  • florence henderson legs crossed (note: yeah, like that will ever happen)
  • photo's of latest florence henderson hairstyle (note: since when did I become your one-stop shop for all things Florence Henderson?)
  • pictures of florence henderson hairstyles (note: see?)
  • janet reno (note: 'cause she hawt)
  • toni tennille naked (note: she was only topless, 'kay?)
  • "penis tattoo" (note: I swear that my penis is not tattooed)
  • big natural (note: they're talking about my vagina again, aren't they? Don't listen, Loopy Lips!)
  • cheerleader fuck (note: Gimme an O! Gimme an O! Gimme an Oooooooooh!)
  • moms got boobs (note: as long as we're not talkin' about my mom, that's excellent!)
  • "how to make a woman scream in bed" (note: well, I don't like to brag, but...)
  • cocksucker (note: isn't that more like COCKSUCKAAAAAAH around here?)
  • ponytail cocksuckers (note: you mean Hare Krishnas?)
  • kitchen punishment (note: hey, I cooked once and no one died)
  • boob job (note: I could use one, if anybody wants to donate)
  • "bunga bunga" pine (note: that's not a tree with which I'm familiar)
  • picture recliner "with built in toilet" (note: because when you think of reclining toilets, you think of me)
  • "I didn't recognize you without the handcuffs" (note: and I didn't recognize you without the duct tape over your mouth)
  • fuckers (note: next they'll come looking for the assholes, too)
  • crotch shot (note: ouch. Hope they got the bullet out)
  • piss facial (note: ummmmmmm....I got nothin')
  • constipated monkey clips (note: the dude who sang that song will be so pissed people are coming to my site and not his)
  • christie brinkley's family crisis (note: for the record, I never touched Billy Joel)
  • naked 4-eyes (note: not in this lifetime)
  • jugshots (note: I think you want my girlfriend's site)
  • huge bosom (note: ditto)
  • 80s freak (note: redundant)
  • "most satisfying piss" (note: all I can say is, it was nowhere near my face)
  • bucky thunk (note: yeah, when I whip out my alleged schlong)
  • piss face (note: now what did I just say?)
  • whip punishment (note: for those who think it's okay to piss on my face)
  • how do I make my bowling shoes slippery? (note: jizz, dumbass)
  • "tijuana donkey show" trailer (note: I was a poor college student at the time, dammit!)
  • osha safety straps and hand rails ride my ass today (note: what?)
  • jizz shot (note: too bad the bowler didn't read that one)
  • ironweed never choke on your own vomit (note: if I had kids, that's the advice I'd give 'em)
  • oprahs vagina (note: sorry 'bout that, folks)
  • braless hiking (note: too noisy)
  • make my monkey talk (note: I believe that's called a queef)
  • facts about the bucky ham fountain (note: ew! At least it's not Spam)
  • tony geary naked photo (note: dear god, NO!)
  • cats ass, rat's ass, dirty old twat.... (note: ...Janet Reno is hawt hawt hawt!)
  • anal sex with tee ball bat (note: oh, like you couldn't find that anywhere)
  • asshole fever (note: probably caught it from that tee ball bat)
Maybe I should just change the name of the site to Bucky's Pee-Soaked Kielbasa Asshole Emporium. It has a nice ring, dunnit?

16 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Vadar smokes pole.

Magneto likes man meat.

Gandalf the gay.



There ya go. Hope that helps you get some new readers.

4:43 PM, May 06, 2006  
Blogger Nina said...

LOL, It does have a nice ring to it.

4:49 PM, May 06, 2006  
Anonymous MadameD said...

Oh man, the Osha hand rails one...I don't want to know. It's rare, but no, I really really don't.

5:33 PM, May 06, 2006  
Blogger Pat M. Can said...

O god...

Couldn't help myself and had to return to the chaos here. You are sick, but likeable.

7:42 PM, May 06, 2006  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

Did someone say handcuffs?
:o)

7:55 PM, May 06, 2006  
Blogger hellokittn said...

OMG - I'm not sure but I think the "osha safety straps and hand rails ride my ass today" was my fault. I remember commenting about work once and that is on one of the signs in my office.

And I'm sure Jess is right, Vadar smokes mad pole.

9:57 PM, May 06, 2006  
Blogger whfropera said...

my brain imploded after the Tony Geary comment - what is WITH him getting extra-popular on TV all of a sudden? I keep seeing him on all these other shows. now I'm seeing him naked. eeeeeeeewww.

10:05 PM, May 06, 2006  
Blogger Closet Metro said...

I saw a coffee mug once that said something like "I can't take any more people riding my ass without having OSHA approved safety rails installed"

10:31 PM, May 06, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

Your list is so much more interesting than mine. Most of mine are "squirl". One today was "pretty pictures".

I'm jillis.

10:43 PM, May 06, 2006  
Blogger Mike said...

When I look at my stats I am always amazed at the reasons people come to my blog. It makes me proud to be here. Of course, none of them are as good as yours.

10:44 PM, May 06, 2006  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

Emporium? I prefer the term "Asstravaganza."

2:10 PM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Hummm. Bucky, I can’t remember how I first encountered your blog. It probably wasn’t via any of those terms, some of which you have added to my vocabulary.

You know, of course, that you are mentally wacky, but extremely lovable.

5:01 PM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

Cool. Can I have your autograph?

9:36 PM, May 07, 2006  
Blogger eclectic said...

I hold Susie responsible for leading me astray..., I mean, here. And I'll be forever grateful, because I'm not nearly as creative as some of those searchers on your list here -- I might never have found you!

12:59 AM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger hemlock said...

These are the best.

I can't wait to see your new masthead!

8:19 AM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger dashababy said...

I'm a bit of a latecomer today. I've been catching up.
I'm also a bit of eyebrow freak too. Good job, Jess.
Damn, now I'm hungry for Kielbasa!

2:30 PM, May 08, 2006  

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