Solid advice
Because I am so old, I feel it is my duty to impart some of my hard-earned wisdom to You, the Internet as a Whole. You may thank me with tributes of crab and cream soda.
Whatever you do, don't think about Oprah's vagina.
- Never drink a six-pack of Miller Lite and then chug the better part of a fifth of Kessler's. If you ignore my advice and do it anyway, don't be surprised if you vomit with the velocity of a chunky cheetah.
- If you are on the toilet, do not let anyone deliver exceptionally good news until you are done. Jumping for joy mid-defecation can result in hard-to-explain stains on the tile.
- Don't forget to bring a towel.
I don't care what anyone thinks - Towelie is the best South Park character EVER. He even edges out Mr. Hanky, very slightly. And could it be anything other than kismet that the first night I wear my shirt, South Park airs a Towelie episode I've never seen? I'm still feeling a little disturbed over their depiction of Oprah's talking vagina, though. Too much is said about Oprah sticking all her fingers in it, and really, it's more than I can stand. Must...not...think...about...it...
- If you're blue and you don't know where to go to, why don't you go where fashion sits? (Puttin' on the riiiiiitz!)
- When you insist on continually irritating cats with your camera, don't be surprised when you wake up covered in revenge hairballs.
- Here's some advice I wrote in junior high school, and it may be a little old fashioned, but I think it still resonates: Never try to have sex with a cassette tape. You will be disappointed.
Whatever you do, don't think about Oprah's vagina.
Katy Barzedor proclaimed this to be so at 12:20 AM
24 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':
"Don't think about Oprah's vagina. Don't think about Oprah's vagina. Don't think about...."
Dammit Bucky.
That episode was sorta fucked. But hey at least you had company watching it at your feet. Roo and Wobbles luv you.
I would write more, but your in the room sleeping right now and I think I will go taunt the dogs by dangling food over your head and see how long til they slob you.
I saw parts of that one. Gah!
Towel threw away a perfectly good-oh, yeah and the vagina thing was pretty bad, too.
:o)
Thanks, don't think about Oprah's vagina - Aaaaagggghhhh!
We got home about 12:30 Michigan time, so, even with the construction, we made pretty good time.
You get kudos for the fact that 3 (yes, 3) people, whom I don't have a online relationship with, came up to me at work (I work at a niteclub now. yes, I work. who'd a thunkit?) and said something along the lines of "OMIGODSONGBUCKYANDJRABBITAREELOPING!!!"
plus a girl whom I AM friends with actually rang me from her woke phone to tell me the good news.
God, I take a 2 week break from the net and you steal my place in the pillows. And no, I am not replacing it with oprahs vagina. I'll just have to sleep with hermione when I come over there :)
You may as well have said don't think about pink elephants because now Oprah's vagina is all anyone is going to think about.
It's worse than apple smelling shampoo! I so stopped reading after "where fashion sits." That song drives me nuts!! I'm going to hurl!
ack
don't think about Oprah's vagina...
apple smelling shampoo...
doggy slobber on Bucky's head...
I think you need to change the name of your band from the pushed off pigs to oprah's vagina. You could do a tour of every 2 bit redneck bar and on the marquee out front it would say Tonight "Oprahs Vagina"
LOL -- I forgot whatever I was going to say as soon as I saw eclectic's comment! Hee hee!
Jeff's Place -- and on the first night they played, it would say "Opening Tonight, Oprah's Vagina"
Jess -- how long did it take the dogs to slob her? :)
Oh, and Bucky -- thank you for giving me the inspiration and the power to torture Bloggy for the rest of the day.
Am I correct in deducing that double bagger just called Oprah's va-jay-jay a pink elephant?
LadyBug -- That's what I got from that comment... ;)
What's that you say? Oprah's got angina? Oh that poor woman.
(Who says selective dyslexia is a bad thing?)
'Sha, imagine me watching that episode with my 12yo son, Schmancer. All is well until Minge starts talking. I just about shit my pants.
That was truly a strange parenting moment. I had to gently tell him that Minge really DOESN'T talk!
The Towelie W/ OW Minge episode was on TV last night.
Wife says, "What is that? What is that? Is that a real word?"
I said, "Yes, it is. You've never heard that word?"
Wife says, "No. No it's not. That's not a real word."
Tonight: I'm planning on having her go to Wikipedia.com and search "Minge."
HA!
Thanks Bucky!
Mark W.
What about Oprah's apple-shampoo smelling vagina?
I'd never really thought about it, but I have to say, the cassette tape information really may come in handy some day.
I'm afraid after last night, I can think of nothing but Oprah's happy place. Damn, Damn, Damn.
I heart that fucking shirt
I bet Oprah's vagina is really really ugly
OK, I got nothin', but you know y'all were begging for me to make an appearance. :)
Shut up, Pissy, you HAB! I look DAMN good. I have STYLISTS, bitch!
I'm with Eclectic. Thanks for that image. I'm off to pour bleach in my eyes.
Jess, you can taunt your dogs over me anytime. Slobber happens.
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