the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Monday, May 08, 2006

For my next trick...

Dear David Blaine,

Should you survive your little dip in the aquarium without oxygen tonight, I have a suggestion for your next stunt, one that would truly thrill me and countless others: please put your head even farther up your own ass than it already is, and then hold your breath for a record-breaking thirty years.

I'm sorry, but dude - your little freak shows just don't do it for me. You want my attention? Bring on some juggling midgets on fire and a flatulent giraffe - that would entertain me more than your public displays of unspectacular masochism.

Oxygenatedly yours,

Katy

27 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Random and Odd said...

hee hee.
personally, i'm still laughing at your comment on klog about fearing they find out what you watch on tv.

dear lord the college would come pounding on my door and beat me to death that I don't have anything from techtv on Tivo.

7:31 PM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I guess playing with your ball in public until your hands are raw is still out?

7:38 PM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger Charlotte in Pa said...

Huh. I enjoy David Blaine. He's creepy, and I like that about him. Plus, I realize that turning yourself into a human goldfish isn't necessarily IMPRESSIVE, but it looks kind of cool. (especially at night) They should have put a mirror up to the tank to see if he would go crazy and try to attack himself like those Japanese Fighting Fish.

8:22 PM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

I'm not too amused by David Blaine.
His next trick (if he survives)?
I wanna see him balance The National Budget.
That would blow my mind.
*wanders off mumbling to self*

8:25 PM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

I saw some ads for this and wasn't impressed.

8:28 PM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger hellokittn said...

Why do my immediate thoughts always go straight for the 'nads?

Seriously, the smiling chick on the Sunmaid raisins box is taunting me.

8:38 PM, May 08, 2006  
Anonymous torrie said...

I don't know if you remember this, but I met him. He had man boobs.

10:05 PM, May 08, 2006  
Anonymous torrie said...

Here's the link:
http://iprettymuchhateeverything.blogspot.com/2005/04/so-i-did-ms-walk-today.html

10:07 PM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I don’t know what it is, Ms. Katy a.k.a. Bucky, but I was able to finish you first paragraph before I read it.

10:58 PM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger Jim said...

Ooo - I LOVE flatulating giraffe stunts. You can't hardly find them no more.

I've never actually seen a David Blaine stunt - I'm such a loser. But I did watch Doug Henning (before he died) with his little unicorn overalls. "Thankyeeewwwww thankyewwww"

11:12 PM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

Come look at my second dumbassed Monday entry. It's a contest.
The winner gets...zilch. Hooray.


Still got nothin'.

11:34 PM, May 08, 2006  
Blogger eclectic said...

I wonder if he could adapt this stunt to a toilet tank? Cause that might be cooler, y'know, if he lived in the tank of a toilet for awhile...

12:08 AM, May 09, 2006  
Blogger Phoebe Fay said...

I think the Tidy Bowl Man already has the toilet tank trick covered - has been in there for decades, in fact. But he has a little boat, so maybe he doesn't count.

I always though the Tidy Bowl guy was hot, in a two-inch-tall stud kind of way.

1:19 AM, May 09, 2006  
Blogger MilkMaid said...

Amen.

2:07 AM, May 09, 2006  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

LOL... I saw the commercial for that. I wondered, if he's going to hold his breath for NINE MINUTES, why is the show TWO HOURS long? Even with commercials, a half hour should have done nicely, don't you think?

9:18 AM, May 09, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Cats, cats, nuttin' but cats....

http://youtube.com/watch?v=mjM-ZmlmxQY&search=scuba%20diving%20cat

12:08 PM, May 09, 2006  
Blogger Effie said...

well said!

He's gonna get brain damage from something like that....oh wait...

12:45 PM, May 09, 2006  
Blogger AlRo said...

Midget porn? ooooh - JUST midgets... *sighs* i thought you said midget porn...

David Blaine's street-magic tricks are awesome..

and to do what he did - takes alot of conditioning .. people, I don't think, really get how much it takes to do what he pulled off...

Stay in a hottub say.. for 2 hours .. when yer ready to come out .. now remember he stayed in water for another 170 hours more than that..

He's no different than Houdini in his day pulling off tricks in public -- he's a modern day Houdini - that's all..

Is he nuts? Hell ya..
Could I do what he does? Hell no.. can the average joe do it? Hell no..

That's why it sells..

2:28 PM, May 09, 2006  
Blogger Mike said...

I am pretty much done with this guy. Well hell, I was done with him on day one, but now I am really totally done.

Maybe if America took up a collection and gave him the money he would disappear.

3:22 PM, May 09, 2006  
Blogger limpy99 said...

I think I've said this in at least two other blogs today, and I'm just as sure I'm not the only one thinking it, but for his next stunt I hope we get to see "David Blaine takes a baseball bat to the back of the head"

4:59 PM, May 09, 2006  
Blogger dashababy said...

LOL. Too funny.

David Blaine, blegh. I had to change the channel the other morning when I was eating my cereal, he just grosses me out.

6:47 PM, May 09, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

I saw a recent photo of this that had the caption "Stunt Performer David Blaine" instead of "Magician."
I saw him do a couple tricks during the millenium day, and that was cool, but really, hanging out in water for days? How is that "magic"?
Just wondering...

8:43 PM, May 09, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

OK, to clarify:

I do not doubt that what David Blaine does takes major conditioning, brass balls, and a healthy dose of insanity.

That said, I just do not find what he does entertaining in the least. I would probably enjoy his street magic, but his displays where he publicly soaks in water or a month, or starves himself in a glass box in public? I just find absolutely no entertainment value in it.
Houdini knew how to get to the point; he went right to the being submerged in water wrapped in chains, and did his escape right there. He never made anyone watch him float for weeks first.

I'm sorry, but watching a man float in a tank for a month, or watching him starve himself is even less interesting to me than, say, watching paint dry or flies fuck.
Your mileage may vary. ;)

8:50 PM, May 09, 2006  
Blogger Pat M. Can said...

I would much rather see sidewalk chalk art. Now THAT is cool!

This dude...unimpressive to me.

Hope no little kids are watching it.

i.e. Mommy, see what Billy is doing in the pool!

Good God!

11:47 PM, May 09, 2006  
Blogger Gina said...

AMEN

1:47 AM, May 10, 2006  
Blogger Gina said...

That Amen was to your post. And another thought... how in the world did he get on TV, prime time TV??? This kind of mindless entertainment belongs to paying cable customers in the middle of the night!

1:51 AM, May 10, 2006  
Blogger shellibells said...

DAVID BLAINE IS A FUCKTARD...

I used to like his little card tricks...but then he started to levitate and I thought, are you kidding me?

Pfft. whatever

2:18 PM, May 12, 2006  

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