Cats? Check. Monkeys? Check. Poop? Check.

Just a few thoughts pulled straight from the heart of my ass.

• I was asked if I was serving drinks to the Village Wobbles in my new masthead.
  
  
  (This one, if you're seeing it later)
  
  Not only am I serving them drinks, I am their adoring Mexican fag hag.
  
  
• A few years ago in Detroit, I was sitting in a car with some friends, waiting for traffic to clear so we could leave the parking lot after what was likely a pitiful baseball game. I couldn't tell you a thing about the game, but what I do remember about the day was that a guy came up to the window to ask for a light, and then started begging for coins, cash, whatever.
  
  My friend who was driving cooly refused, and then the guy whipped out the pity card line: "Man, I only got a nickel in my pocket - and it's Canadian." Because that cheerless nickel wasn't even technically worth five cents. It was a true effort on my part not to laugh out loud. My friend fished out thirty-five cents and said, "Here's enough to make a phone call." which is more than the guy was gonna get in the first place, so he must've amused him with the line, too.
  
  
• Less than a month 'til my Mac Mini is delivered. breathe, Bucky, breathe...
  
  Did I tell you about the delay in processing? I'm too lazy to go look, so if I already did, just skip to the next section and know that I'm a step closer to the adult diapers and round-tipped scissors.
  
  I ordered my computer last month, and my order coincided with the release of a slightly upgraded model (faster processor and increased hard-drive capacity). It takes longer to prep and ship, but I get a 160 GB hard drive instead of 120 GB, and it didn't cost appreciably more. So, it shall be worth the wait. But the wait is makin' me squirrely (no offense, Squirl).
  
  
• We all know that I have an absence of talent with the large paint brush, but I'm going to try my hand at the tiny paint brushes soon and see if I can still paint anything I like. I might show it to you here, and all I ask is that you not be too unkind when you gently inform me that it looks like monkeys flung brightly colored poop at the canvas.