the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Friday, September 08, 2006

Caution: pussy pictures included

I'd say the mood needs to be lightened up in this room, and I can't think of a better mood lightener than a cat's nutsack.


Roo the magnificent

When Roo had his emergency anusectomy (OK, OK, it was a rupture produced by an infected anal sac...they didn't really remove his anus), the vet had to shave the poor kitty's entire backside. Roo walked around for days with a bare pink ass, his empty nutsack nekkid for the world to ridicule as he tried, repeatedly and in vain, to back his way out of the protective cone he was forced to wear to keep from gnawing at his stitches.

We took the big fluffy boy in to have his stitches out yesterday, and now he's livin' the cone-free life. He's one cat who does not lack self esteem - when you praise him, he gets this totally blissful, smug look on his face, and he flits his tail and struts, the better for us to worship his natural glory. This boy is very proud of himself, and with good reason. He's a pimp daddy, a ferocious killer of catnip-laced puffballs, and dominator of Eeyore.


Roo's the boss

Last night Roo was lounging about on the bed, receiving an abundance of tag-team lovin' from Jess and me, when he happened to flip his tail straight up in the air and turn his back to me in mid-strut. Now, you have to understand that in a house with twelve cats, you will quickly become numb to the fact that the kitties delight in shoving their asses in your face. I am totally unfazed by the starfish closeup now. But as I reached out to give him a pat on the back, I looked over idly and realized that some of his fur has already started to grow in on the shaven areas. His sparkling pink skin now had a thin layer of white fur sprouting up. And then my eyes locked on two extra-grown tufts of white...on his empty nutsack.

It's true. For some reason, the fur had grown especially fast on his candy jar. I couldn't take my eyes off it. Had I really sunk that low, that I couldn't stop staring at the fresh fur on a cat's genitals?

It's not that I was transfixed by the nutsack itself...it's just that the two healthy tufts of fur were oddly fascinating, like the Rogaine had kicked in selectively to ensure that his nutsack would never be cold. And not only that...

I finally blurted out to Jess, "Oh my gawd, Roo's nutsack looks like Colonel Sanders!"


















She couldn't argue with me. And she didn't. In fact, she only encouraged my down-to-the-bones wrongness by suggesting that we could make a little white linen suit to hang from Roo's ass to complete the picture, and then perhaps I could take it into Photoshop and add the caption "Finger Lickin' Good."

Do you see how she only adds gasoline to the bonfire of my retardation? Just like that, Roo was out of stitches and we were in stitches. Every time he'd turn his back to me, I'd see the little white tufts and would instantly collapse in a heap of completely inappropriate and juvenile laughter.

If the fear of diarrhea hadn't already done it, this incident would have completely put me off of eating at KFC.

Epilogue: As I was writing this, Roo vomited loudly on my sock monkey sheets, and as I was cleaning that up, he barfed on my slippers. Guess I'm cancelling my construction of the tiny white linen suit.

17 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger eclectic said...

A rare, Pink Tufted Nuthatch sighting. Plenty of birdwatchers that'd give their right arms to be you, I bet.

What's that? OHHHH. You said "nutsack." Nevermind.

4:39 PM, September 08, 2006  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

But he loves the little song I sing him,

Oh Nut Tuft your my little Nut Tuft, Oh my Roobie oh my little Nut Tuft.

5:03 PM, September 08, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

Tee hee, I love the songs of both Eclectic and Jess.

I don't really know what else to say.

5:58 PM, September 08, 2006  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Time for a song!

http://tinyurl.com/feorb

6:19 PM, September 08, 2006  
Blogger Terri said...

We have four dogs and recently went through two simultanious dog surgeries...with DRAINING incisions. Between the puking and the draining and the potty accidents I'll be replacing the carpet soon. The upside? No extended family member will come within a 1/2 mile of my house!

7:49 PM, September 08, 2006  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

I know a few people who would give their right arm just to see a nutsack...

Just sayin.

8:02 PM, September 08, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

Well, he clearly let his feelings about the comparison be known.
Though, I'd totally love to see the teeny tiny little white linen suit.

8:39 PM, September 08, 2006  
Blogger Dixie said...

Starfish closeup! bwaaahaaahahaha That is priceless!

9:21 PM, September 08, 2006  
Blogger hellokittn said...

It's a wonder how cats are smart enough to know thier owners are plotting against them. Sorry about the body functions :-[.

11:52 AM, September 10, 2006  
Anonymous lawbrat said...

Nothin' like nutsacks on a Sunday mornin'.

We just aquired a new kitten- a stray- a tiny little baby when we found him. (you can read the story on my site, a few posts down- worth the read).

When we finally got him in the house, and he let us touch him, I checked to see if he was a boy or a girl baby.

I couldnt tell!! I showed Phil, he said for sure a boy. I guess it took a guy to see. Last night baby was laying on our bed, and he has GROWN- in the nutter region. I commented to Phil about how there is no mistaking him now. Phil says- he takes after his dad.

1:03 PM, September 10, 2006  
Blogger Lynn said...

Hey there Bucky! I took my kids shoe shopping today and I thought of one of your recent posts. I was glad trying on shoes does not require a dressing room. I would have hated for any of us to have had a run-in with a "dollop of dick pudding"!

6:13 PM, September 10, 2006  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

There is probably a biological reason for the hairs fast regrowth in that region, such a protecting what there is no longer anything to protect. Maybe I’ll ask Alex for his input. Then, maybe I won’t. Alex doesn’t know that he’s an “it.”

8:29 PM, September 10, 2006  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

Oh great. Now I am reminded of my infamous trip to the KFC buffet again. Just when I thought I had successfully removed it from the memory banks...

12:16 PM, September 11, 2006  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

Courtesy of the folks at Print Mafia:

http://www.printmafia.net/index.php?p=13

12:16 PM, September 11, 2006  
Blogger Kuntry Konfession said...

hahahahahaha! too funny! you MUST make the suit and take a picture, send it to KFC-might pay you! hahahahahaha!

10:14 PM, September 11, 2006  
Blogger Dori Lenine said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:06 PM, September 21, 2006  
Blogger Dori Lenine said...

Hillarious!

Now ya got me thinking of those times I noticed Mister Kittie's little grey tufts of shrunken genatalia. Crcks me up when he turns his back on me and wiggles his hiney as he walks away...yes...then that stopping and turning of his head to stare deep within my soul as if to say...I know you were looking....Darling...

10:08 PM, September 21, 2006  

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