the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Friday, June 20, 2008

Advice that should have stopped while it was ahead

When Squirl brought me some dinner the other night, it came complete with napkins emblazoned with sage counsel:


Wipe! or die

It's not a bad piece of advice, this admonition to WIPE! I think wiping is a wonderful invention, and I don't even think I'm going too far to call it the cornerstone of a civilized society.

But...but...but...did they really feel the need to follow a good rule of, ah, thumb with a slogan like "Tasting is Believing"? Is this some sort of a nod to analingus? Tasting is Believing that the ass you're licking was thoroughly wiped before the tongue hit the pucker?

Note to Jimmy John's: please stop making me think about ass while I'm eating your sandwiches. It's distracting, and you didn't even have the courtesy to include a side of anus with the meal.

8 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Anonymous Susie said...

See, that's all I was saying. WIPE! was sufficient, we didn't need to involve tasting.
But I think you've written a new slogan for the napkins: "Don't think about ass while you're eating our food!" Here at the house, we end every meal blessing with that sentiment.

10:57 PM, June 20, 2008  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Well... that's a bit of bad planning right there... I'm sure someone meant well...

10:57 PM, June 20, 2008  
Blogger Ms S said...

You're talking about ass..but you're also talking about the brand and posted a pic to further advertise...so I'm sure Jimmy would be quite pleased, assalicious or not!

2:05 PM, June 21, 2008  
Blogger Squirl said...

Your sandwich didn't taste like ass did it?

5:49 PM, June 21, 2008  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

*dirty mind going into overdrive*

7:23 PM, June 21, 2008  
Blogger chica40208 said...

lol you are funny as hell!

5:15 PM, June 23, 2008  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

You realize, don't you dear Bucky, that a "normal" human being would not have made that connection.

5:59 AM, June 25, 2008  
Anonymous Maven said...

I find it more than a bit redundant to have the word WIPE! emblazoned on a wipe.

Either they leave the word on it or they should remove the bit about tasting.

And Susie's comment about the meal blessing... truly the most hilarious thing I've read today.

SRSLY.

5:13 PM, July 21, 2008  

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