Beware the gobble-ins

This used to be such a nice town, a serene town, a place where you could raise up a nice li'l family and your child could dream of growing up to be somebody. Somebody like a mail carrier.

I'm sorry to say that times have changed; it's like the Wild West up in here now, and not even a can of mace and a stout leather bag - a mail bag, I mean - can keep our postal workers safe from the threat of gang violence in the streets of Grand Haven.

Those god damned turkeys.