the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Friday, June 30, 2006

Jesus on the dashboard

Next week, I must undertake a very long and somewhat (extremely) stressful road trip; I must take this journey alone because Jess has prior commitments. To take the sting out of all that driving, and to make up for the sheer horror of what she posted today, she brought something home for me today that serves the dual purpose of protecting and amusing me.

Buddy Christ

She brought me the Buddy Christ from Dogma.


He's Happy!  He's Scrappy!

I've been totally stressed out and distracted for a number of reasons lately, and knowing that I will have Buddy Christ on my dashboard while I drive to Flint and back really has helped my mood. Thank you, baby - you always know just what to bring home for me in a plain brown wrapper.

Another saving grace for my nerves is the fact that yesterday, I received my DVDs of the complete three-season set of Strangers With Candy. I spent last evening drinking bad chianti, definitely not Dr. Lecter's nice chianti, and immersing myself in the truly fucked-up world of Jerri Blank and company. Remember: The retarded don't rule the night. They don't rule it - nobody does.

God, I can't wait for the movie to come out. I may just piss myself in anticipation. Or maybe just for fun. You'll just never know, will you?

10 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Squirl said...

May Buddy Christ be with you. Oh, wait, he will be. Good!

I know you're distracted and things are on your mind. I hope Buddy Christ will help keep your spirits.

Now I have to go see what Jess posted.

9:47 PM, June 30, 2006  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Well you know how important it is to me that you drive safe.

10:07 PM, June 30, 2006  
Blogger whfropera said...

Life was bad enough when I found out you can buy the What's Opera Doc figurines (no, no one has gifted me with them yet - what do I have to do, play the Ring Cycle?)

And NOW I find out you can buy the Buddy Christ?

Shattered. I am shattered.

10:08 PM, June 30, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

Wow, now you really CAN say Jesus is your copilot.
Well, Buddy Christ.

12:29 AM, July 01, 2006  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Bucky, I’m sure that Buddy Christ will be your companion on your trip and pray that He guides you and gives you good company.

However, Buddy Christ reminds me of my misspent youth, so even though it’s late and I’m exhausted, I just gotta get out my guitar and play and sing:


Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far.

I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car,
You can buy Him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant,
Take Him with you when you're traveling far

I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I have magnetic Mary
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel I'm protected amply
I've got the whole damn Holy Family
Riding on the dashboard of my car


No, I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
But I think he'll have to go
His magnet ruins my radio
And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar

Riding through the thoroughfare
With his nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't mind
Trouble coming, he don't see
He just keeps his eyes on me
And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun shines on his back
Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps him up to par

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say "Damn!"
I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once his robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of my cigar

If I weave around at night
And the cops think I'm tight
They'll never find my bottle, though they ask
Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask

Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar

1:41 AM, July 01, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

You bring to mind two songs, or snippets thereof:

"I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I've got my plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car!"

and the related,

"Drop-kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life
End over end, neither left, nor to right..."

I've got a million of 'em.

1:56 PM, July 01, 2006  
Blogger Susie said...

Oops. Good idea to read the other comments first. Boy, is my face red.

1:57 PM, July 01, 2006  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Susie - funny, it looks green to me. ;)

3:00 PM, July 01, 2006  
Blogger Humble Beginnings said...

I love it!

10:23 PM, July 03, 2006  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

Why is it the Buddy Christ looks like that wrestler, "The Rock" dressed up as JC?

7:59 PM, July 07, 2006  

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