Sweet benchpressin' baby Jesus, not again!

I mentioned recently that I had bought a bookcase whose sole purpose in life is to display my tchotchkes. And really, I have more of the aforementioned tchotchkes than a sane adult needs. Well, any adult, if you wanna split hairs. Seriously, my room is overflowing with my nonessential crap (the PS2 does not fit that category - I'm once again addicted to GTA: San Andreas). I need to spend some time organizing my shit, lest Jess come in here one day and find that the figurines have rebelled, fed up with their living conditions, and I have been murdered in my sleep by tiny Uma Thurman and Daryl Hannah.

The bookcase finally came out of the back of my car today. Sure, it's been a few days since I bought it, but not long enough to be disgraceful.

No, the real disgrace is the fact that, before the bookcase has even been unboxed and assembled, I have managed, somehow, very accidentally I'm sure, to acquire, um, more tchotchkes. I swear to you, I have no fucking idea how it happened. There I was, puttering innocently around the mall, minding my own business, and next thing you know, I was carrying a bag the size of my torso, and mysteriously, the bag was brimming with bargain-basement toys.

While I'm relatively certain these figurines were planted on me by some evil person with a strange sense of the absurd, I have to face the fact that I may have had a blackout, a clearance-tchotchke induced blackout. Perhaps I need to take twelve steps away from these false idols.

But before I do, I feel compelled to whip out the photos and cry "BEHOLD!"

So, behold already, will ya?



I now have three miniature versions of Al Pacino looking terribly constipated.



Because who doesn't need a Michael Clarke Duncan figurine about the house?






Oh, come on - ten bucks for Marv in the electric chair, with a light-up skull, and it vibrates and talks! I may just use this one on my naughty bits.


Well, maybe I won't.

Somebody make me build my bookcase so I will not be creating any more homeless action figures. Shortly thereafter, I will be taking up a collection to pay for the extensive psychological help that it's obvious I require.