the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Sunday, December 10, 2006

The bridge of my nose is sighing in relief (so does that make it the Bridge of Sighs?)

Oh, I loved my Ray Bans so. You know I did. I considered them my "signature" shades, and wouldn't even pose for pictures in regular glasses until I got my most recent pair.

But the Ray Bans have a problem. A weight problem. Perhaps it's embarrassing for me to even discuss that here, but it's the cold, hard, lead-filled truth. You see, my eyes are kind of, well...what's the word I'm searching for here? Oh, yeah - crappy. My eyes are very crappy. They don't see too well without the aid of a prescription as strong as the All-Steroids Boys' Choir. Add those big Ray Ban frames and the fact that plastic couldn't be tinted as dark as I needed it, and you come up with a pair of shades that weighs slightly less than my car does (with five people riding in it).

As a result of their bulk and the damning effects of gravity (that bitch), it was tough to keep the Ray Bans in one spot on my face - the fuckers even fell off and cracked the frames on the sidewalk one day when I was hurrying out of work, keeping my face down to avoid an icy rain. Also, they would rub on my cheeks when I pushed them all the way up on my nose, and when I'd take 'em off, there'd be powder and foundation all over them. Yecccch!

So, much as I loved those shades, I finally decided it was time to ditch them for something newer and less, ah, imposing. This afternoon, I braved outrageous traffic and unruly crowds to venture back to the mall - this time of year, that word just gives me the chills - to pick up my new specs.

Whaddya think?


New shades
Could my lips look just a little more smarmy in this picture?

The lenses are polycarbonate, plenty dark, and hardly weigh a thing - which, with my prescription, is quite an accomplishment. Also, I'm told I look "more like a girl" and "less like a Blues Brother."

I took one last picture of myself in the Ray Bans last night, and then proceeded to process it so much that you can barely see 'em anyway. But here it is, just in case you give a shit.

Limbo in jammies

10 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I rather liked the “Blues Brothers” look: kinda New Orleans hipster, they were. Of course, one must be pragmatic when it comes to seeing, so I’ll accept your new polycarbonate, plenty dark, and hardly weigh a thing shades.

2:29 AM, December 10, 2006  
Blogger Lynn said...

Cool to both pics and both pairs. Do the new ones have the pink tinted lenses? I can't wear darkening glasses that don't have the pink, because I need the lift. What about you, Buck? You feel 'up' enough in the new lenses?

3:01 AM, December 10, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

Ichabod will be pleased to know that you're wearing shades again. He always swore that it was looking cool, not migraine-avoidance, that you wore shades before. Looks like it was a combination of the above.

I like 'em, too.

9:17 AM, December 10, 2006  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

I, for one, welcome our new shade-wearing overlords...

What?

2:25 PM, December 10, 2006  
Blogger thatfarmgirl said...

Your lips would only look more smarmy if there was something oozing from one of the corners. But the shades are the shizzle.

3:01 PM, December 10, 2006  
Blogger Flying Mermaid said...

You're holding out on me, bitch! You KNOW I only ate that Ecstasy because I didn't have any acid! Gimme some of that acid! Bitch.

4:50 AM, December 11, 2006  
Blogger Schmootzie said...

The weight problem is an issue, yet there is something about the Ray-Bans...

Might I suggest and Opti-Grab?

7:39 AM, December 11, 2006  
Anonymous hemlock said...

Those are some HOTT glasses. Very nice.

8:41 AM, December 11, 2006  
Blogger Effie said...

sexay new specs!

11:24 AM, December 11, 2006  
Blogger eclectic said...

If you were going for uber-girly, you're not quite there yet. But those are some damn nice shades. You look great!

4:05 PM, December 11, 2006  

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