the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Thinking: a most dangerous undertaking

Things pingin' around all that spare room in my skull today:

  • Chocolate. Aside from Jess' melt-in-your-mouth brownies and the souffl√© at Roy's in Baltimore, I don't dig chocolate. Sure, that's not a very girlie thing to admit, but it's the ugly truth. It always annoys me when I see some kind of ice cream I think would be really good, then upon closer inspection I see that the manufacturer has taken a really great flavor and sullied it with enough chocolate to kill all the dogs in town. Ben and Jerry's, I'm lookin' at you: why the fuck did you have to ruin Chunky Monkey with the four pounds of chocolate pieces you put in the pint containers? Why wasn't banana ice cream with walnuts good enough? Makes me think there's a severe lack of imagination when it comes to planning this shit. Read my vanilla fucking lips: not every woman is jonesing for chocolate. Knock it off, you cocksuckers! Make me some banana and peanut butter ice cream, and all will be forgiven.
    This message brought to you by Katy's PMS.

  • My days are passing wickedly fast here. I can't believe I've been here over a month now. The cats continue to extend their many greetings from the Welcome Wagon. Even the shyest cats in the house have buddied up to me, including old Eeyore, a cat I saw only on rare occasions when I would come here to visit. Eeyore is probably about 17 years old and doesn't have much tolerance for all the ruckus the other animals - especially the dogs - cause around the house, so he's usually hiding. Lately, he's taken a liking to yowling outside my bedroom door until I get out of bed and let him in, and then nesting in my hair. But he doesn't nestle quietly; he purrs like a little outboard motor, continually butts his head against my face, and stomps all over my hair. It's really quite sweet, but if this keeps up, I will be wearing a wig before the year is out.

    Eeyore, handsome cat

  • If the dogs here were pasta, they would be Tardellini.

    Tug o' tard

  • I am perhaps the luckiest bitch in the whole wide world. That's true for a number of reasons, but there's one in particular that is making me especially thankful today: I went to the ATM and withdrew some cash today, not a tiny amount, and then went on my merry way to Target. I shopped in a leisurely fashion, as I really have no discernible schedule these days, and there is no reason I can't linger in the shampoo aisle for fifteen minutes if I get the urge. Upon being told the total cost of my purchases, I realized that my trusty girl wallet was not in my girl purse. The cashier offered to suspend the transaction while I went out to the car to fetch my cash; I reasoned that I must've left my wallet on the seat of the car. However, when I reached my Cruiser and looked in the window, my heart sank when my wallet was nowhere to be seen. I opened the driver's door to have a better look, and my heart reversed its sinking motion and shot right up into my throat when I saw my wallet on the ground, outside my car. ON THE GROUND. My throat-bound heart was channeling Gene Krupa as I unzipped the wallet with fingers as shaky as an epileptic at a strobe light convention. Against all logic and my sickened expectations, my cash was all there, my cards were all there - no one had seen it. So if you work at Target, I'll be the weird fucker in shades doin' the happy dance in the parking lot when they show you the best of their security tapes at the Christmas party.

18 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger I'm not here. said...

You make the retard dance sound like a bad's pure art, I tell ya. And I'm a fuckin' prima ballerina when it comes to that shit. ;oD
So glad you found your wallet with everything in tact!
Been there, done that, have the grey hairs to prove it.
Oh, man that's skirry. Glad you had a happy ending. :o)

10:29 PM, May 18, 2006  
Blogger eclectic said...

She's telling the truth, Bucky... I've seen her 'retard dance': poetry in motion. Happy you had reason to entertain the underpaid, overworked Target employees.

12:02 AM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger Candy said...

I too am glad you found your money, I might need more sushi after this weekend is over.


12:33 AM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger Candy said...

Also I am most impressed that you were able to get a picture of sweet Eeyore bubbies all by himself and not in full tilt run, well done lady, well done indeed.

12:34 AM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger Madame D said...

Aw, they can totally tell you have allergies.

2:44 AM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger Squirl said...

First, I did that same wallet thing in Muskegon about a month ago. The parking lot was pretty dead, but I still am really lucky it wasn't gone. So glad that yours was there waiting for you when you got back to the car. Let 'em get their jollies watching your dance. It was worth it.

Eeyore! He's one that, of course, I haven't met. It doesn't surprise me that he likes your room. Besides knowing that you are enthralled by all kitties, he knows that you have a relatively pet-free room.

tarellini ha

And they can put all of the chocolate that they want into sweets. I'd rather they leave out the coconuts and nuts. End of story.

9:23 AM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger said...

Didnt I advise you to go for the trucker wallet? That chain fastened to your assless chaps would have never been misplaced. Come on bucky, be a fashion trend setter.

9:26 AM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger Phoebe Fay said...

A cat curled up in your hair purring like mad and peridically head-butting you just to make sure you're still aware of her existence is about the most annoying thing in the world. And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Glad the gods of lost objects were smiling on your wallet!

11:36 AM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger Effie said...

Now that's something to be happy about!

And now I want some banana & peanut butter icecream..good flavour idea..make a formal suggestion to Ben & Jerry's--maybe they'll send you some free coupons for icecream...(i'm all about the freebies!)

12:24 PM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger Lowa said...

Banana peanut butter sounds AWESOME! We love banana/peanut butter sandwiches over here:) YUM!

I love chocolate, but I do agree with you. There is far too much in many things.

Eeyore is PRECIOUS.

The wallet thing is awesome. Of course, I don't call that luck.

I am just sayin'.

12:30 PM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger ALRO said...

well at least you didn't loose any $$$ -- wouldn't want to NOT SPEND money at TARGET.. sheesh...

hey new band pics at my blog Bucky....

1:13 PM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger Unknown said...

Yay for things like that!

I once left my purse at a Hardee's, and was able to retrieve it later, but it was $20 lighter.

3:36 PM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger dashababy said...

I truly am laughing out loud. God you crack me up. Thanks.

5:21 PM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger Amy said...

Tardellini! ha!

So great about your wallet.

I also HATE chocolate chunks in ice cream. Bleck. Big frozen chocolate pieces that end up jammed in my molars.

6:50 PM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger Kranki said...

I once did that with my wallet but to add insult to injury I drove over it before realizing it was gone. It has tire tracks on it to this day.

I cannot support your chocolate hatred. I just can't. Sorry.

10:43 PM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger Unknown said...

Thinking: a most dangerous undertaking

I try never ever to do it, personally.

11:21 PM, May 19, 2006  
Blogger Zoe said...

Couldn't agree with you more about chocolate. Poeple think you're crazy if you don't just love it.

2:01 AM, May 20, 2006  
Blogger Unknown said...

I don't think you're crazy if you don't love it... in fact. I support your non-love of chocolate whole-heartedly.

Um hey... if you're not gonna eat that chocolate, can I have it?

11:37 AM, May 20, 2006  

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