I want all my poems read aloud by George Gaynes
Let's ease into the year with a little bad poetry, shall we?
Palsy jazz hands and a white cactus growin' out your ear;
Albino jerky man, liver-spotted rattlesnake,
A brazen inch of pale ankle twixt cuff and sock.
Got more behind you than you got comin'
So why not shuffle to the chase?
No, thank you, kind sir;
I would not like to blow you.
Oh, also - I graduated.
The waiting is the hardest part:
![Not worried about farting](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_vKPCxT8uCl84DYP6elLJXl3AyBK4npqa1ddRNTYm863zr6wgQU414KC9JJ9b_bHR6D6IT2-k-UjHn5Dey-ATszhcmjl0ko6PvVydeKs1Co6WQV_Zkf5ahHhYKeMivUkA=s0-d)
Then I got up on stage and looked like this in front of people:
![Words of wisdumb](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_u7UorTSHs2iHrmdCCVe2pxh9mxY64njHdaBFpvkijuw1kXE9PtNKlVGZ9FygbPX97-qoDXJ5dm6LPGpaSvlF11nq4iwXEz32-bYfkte7l51KDw5aNJIG0v8iZkCK_jlA=s0-d)
So now you must call me "Master." Or, you know, continue on with "asshole."
Palsy jazz hands and a white cactus growin' out your ear;
Albino jerky man, liver-spotted rattlesnake,
A brazen inch of pale ankle twixt cuff and sock.
Got more behind you than you got comin'
So why not shuffle to the chase?
No, thank you, kind sir;
I would not like to blow you.
Oh, also - I graduated.
The waiting is the hardest part:
Then I got up on stage and looked like this in front of people:
So now you must call me "Master." Or, you know, continue on with "asshole."
8 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':
I can't get you that wish, Bucky, but I have been known to read a poem or thousand.
Miss your blogging... um Master!
You are the Master of Mistresses!
I went to high school with a kid named Chris Gaines, but other than limericks, he wasn't so much about poetry as I recall.
Day-um sis, you are one smart-looking gradjooit!
But it was a great speech, Master Sister.
I'd like to hear that poem sung by Bill Callahan.
P.S. Is that speech available anywhere?
Nick - you'll be my understudy for George Gaines!
Sierra - Trying to get back into the groove (like Madonna, but without the scary-toned butt).
Kranki - Boy, does that get confusing when I clothes shop.
Eclectic - Isn't Chris Gaines really Garth Brooks?
Squirl - and that's why you've always been my favorite sister.
Sheryl - it will eventually be available on iTunes. I'll let you know when I see it there.
Post a Comment
<< Home