the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Stored in my rectum for safekeeping

OK, I know I haven't been online one little bit this weekend, so of course, you all jump to the conclusion that I've been beaten and left for dead in the rented dumpster.

Well, nothing could be further from the truth.

Fact of the matter is, I've spent my weekend as the "guest" of some nice little grey men with large heads and shiny black eyes. These dudes are sooooo friendly. You won't even begin to believe how they greet new friends. Let me just say that I pay big bucks for the same results down at Ye Olde Colonic Shoppe.

I swear that I will respond to your cheeky comments soon. I haven't actually seen them, but knowin' this crowd, I'd be willin' to lay the two dollars from my last john on the odds that your comments are, indeed, cheeky.

So as soon as my new grey friend deigns to take the big metal hooba jooba from out my butt, I'll be back atchya, all y'all. And your little dog, too.

36 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello,
I found your site late at night...I like it. I wish I had more time with my site that deals with anorexia photos Again, cool site.

6:37 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Hooba-jooba in your butt, huh? Well, don't rush it. If the hooba-jooba works, then go for it. :-)

6:38 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger Closet Metro said...

I hope they warmed the hooba jooba before they schlipped it in there. Cold hooba jooba is bad hooba jooba. (I'm assuming. I personally have no hooba jooba experience.)

6:59 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Quick! Somebody change the locks!

7:08 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

Hey, you're back!
I would have helped get you out of the dumpster, but I passed out in your front yard from all the rum cake. *hiccups* I think that was your front yard...huh.
Looks like you got another spammer on the horizon, this time dealing with nasty-ass photos or something (if you do open it, I was young and needed the money.) :o|

What the hell's a hooba jooba?
And most importantly, where can I get one? :oP

7:22 PM, September 18, 2005  
Anonymous big metal hooba jooba said...

Please stop using our copyrighted swing band name in your blog posts -- and in your rectum.

Cold Steel, Lead Singer
Big Metal Hooba Jooba

7:26 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Some nice little grey men who stick a big metal hooba jooba in your butt?

I've been loney this weekend, but not lonely enough to meet up with those little grey men!

8:28 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

Hey, my little dog Sydney's old and sick. Let's just leave her out of it, OK? OK.

9:20 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

So now she's got a GUN? Ohgoodlord, I'm gettin' too old for this. Outta the dumpster, and now packin' heat.

Don't shoot!

9:41 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger mrtl said...

Hooba joobas scare me.

9:59 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

:oP

10:26 PM, September 18, 2005  
Anonymous dazed and confuzed said...

Geez, I wish I had a nickle for every time that happened to me. Of course, usually they're not grey..sort of pink-ish. Sounds like you're in some deep Kim-Chi with the Big Metal Hooba Jooba gang. I wouldn't want to be in YOUR Depends right now.

11:06 PM, September 18, 2005  
Blogger Kitty said...

Hee hee, I know the feeling, I've been outie for the whole weekend too and feeling this blog itch of sorts :).

Miss ya!

12:15 AM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

Hello,
I found your site late at night ... it disgusts me. I wish I had more time with my site that deals with hooba jooba photos. Again, cool site.

12:24 AM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

So wait, your in Wisconsin??

Tell them guys I said Hi, I sorta miss em.

3:42 AM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

I wil take hooba jooba over kim-chee any day...that stuff smells like ass.

4:37 AM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Tuco!

8:35 AM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Michele in Michigan said...

At least the hooba jooba wasn't the DUMPSTER, like I initially thought it was hehehe

9:02 AM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger AlRo said...

Hey - Tell Uncle Merv (he's the shorter grey one with the big-black eyes) that I said "Hullo" .. oh ya.. in their language it's something like..

"Hooby Dooby,! Bastoooo eko-flarg flarg ack ack ack"

9:52 AM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Anon - I don't need anorexia photos. I have the Karen Carpenter private collection at home.

Squirl - you know it's never wise to rush the hooba jooba.

Closet - no, it's pretty much like the speculum at the gyno's office - straight from the deep freeze.

Mr. B - the locks on your butt? The hooba jooba will find you, if it wants you badly enough.

M_D - methinks you are a bit obsessed with the hooba jooba. I take my terminology from Chef on South Park.

Big Metal Hooba Jooba - Now we know how the Lindy Hop got its "hop"!

SS Nick - but they're so darn FRIENDLY!

Eclectic - um, of course, I meant OTHER little dogs. Never the lovely Sydney. Don't bite, Sydney, don't bite!

Susie - I'm harmless. They always take my firing pin.

Mrtl - I'd be more scared if you said hooba joobas delighted you.

Dazed - who are you kiddin'? You have no intention of EVER getting into my Depends.

Kittay - come back, you babushka chickie!

Nilbo - dude, good comment spam needs links, boy, LINKS!

Jess - actually, several of the little grey men asked after you. Said something about letting you use the hooba jooba back on them? I didn't understand, but said I would pass along the message.

Opera gal - the worst "smells like ass" I've ever encountered - that wasn't actually ass - was the ozium air freshener called "New car scent." Totally smells like Ass in a Can.

Squirl - aha! the first to mention my new masthead. I loves me some Good, Bad, and Ugly.

Michele in Mich - well, of course, the big metal hooba jooba does go INTO your dumpster. You know.

10:09 AM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Alshrim - Uncle Merv said to tell you, and I translate roughly here, "Tell the boy to stop using the Hooba Joobas on stage."

10:10 AM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

and of course, a
soundtrack
to go WITH your header:

11:34 AM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

I happen to LOVE "Once Upon A Time In The West" - I have that strack on vinyl!!!

11:35 AM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Opera gal! You always know where the good clips are, don't you?
I did toy with the idea of having the "bird call" sound from this play when the page loads, and then decided that was even too obnoxious for me.

I need to check out "Once Upon a TIme in the West." It's one of the genre I haven't seen yet. But I can quote from GBU all day long. Or a lot of other Eastwood westerns.
And I LOVES me some Tuco. Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez, to be exact.
"I get dressed, I go kill him, I be right back."

11:44 AM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

Its the only film where Henry Fonda plays a villian - he is ABSOLUTELY EVIL in this film. And, in a wierd way, kinda sexy.

12:25 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Well, maybe I have seen that. I know I've seen Henry Fonda play a villain, and I liked it.

1:49 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

Lucky you! I have to pay good money for any hooba-jooba I get.

2:00 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Kranki - what, your insurance doesn't cover hooba jooba expenses?

2:09 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger SierraBella said...

Bucky!
Didn't you know those little grey men actually live in rental dumpsters (and trailer parks?)

2:52 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Sierrabella - nobody told me the dumpster was pre-populated.

3:25 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger AlRo said...

Krankipantz.. hang around me.. I get my Hooby Joobahs for free from Uncle Merv ..

3:29 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

I don't know if I want to know but what were those little grey men doing with that big metal hooba jooba near your tushie? How mean to leave it cold too--the least they could do is warm it up a tad... or lube it or something!

4:11 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

Loved this post! The title of it reminded me of that scene in Pulp Fiction where the guy goes about returning the watch of a friend to the child of the friend... all the while saying how when he was in 'Nam, he kept it in his ass for safekeeping.

GOOD TIMES!

4:39 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Kassi said...

I'm jealous. I want to be hooba jooba'd. I think...er...

6:13 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

A big metal hooba jooba in your butt . . . you know how some things just make your butt cheeks tighten up. Well the thought of a big metal hooba jooba can have that effect.

7:30 PM, September 19, 2005  
Blogger AlRo said...

Bucky!!! we've started a new Blog Trend..

"HAVE YOU BEEN HOOBY JOOBAH'ED today!? No.. step right up and get a big fat metal hooby joobah!"

12:17 PM, September 20, 2005  

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