This kinda makes up for curling

O, Canada - have I told you lately that I love you?

For most of my life, I lived with people who were sports fanatics. Although I can sit and watch a variety of competitive activities with at least a passing notion of what's happening on the field/court/ice, I've always said that if sports were to disappear, it would be no skin off my pasty ass.

But now that may not be completely true.

Canada, long known as the home of beautifully brutal ice hockey and puzzling yet oddly fascinating curling, has produced a new sport that has captured my complete attention.

Ladies, gentlemen, and those of you who read my blog, I give you the Canadian Pillow Fight League. Low-brow meets high camp as women with names like Betty Clock'er, Lynn Somnia, and Sarah Bellum get done up in outrageous costumes and step daintily into the ring to wallop the shit out of each other with pillows.

This is a sport into which I could really sink my buck teeth. The best part is that they're bringing it to the States this weekend. If there is a deity somewhere pulling the strings, I beg for this to become a regularly televised sport. Fuck the Superbowl - give me grudge matches involving bitches with pillows any old day!

If this grows as I hope it does, my dream is that I can have a new career as a color commentator during televised fights, and that perhaps I can host my own show called Pillow Talk, where I will discuss the minutiae of down-filled combat, interview the athletes, and perhaps take part in mini-matches in the studio.

I'm now taking suggestions for a ring name.