the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Saturday, March 31, 2007

You are getting sleeeeeepy

You do not notice that I haven't posted since Monday.

You waaaaant to send me money.

You waaaaaant to send me naked pictures of yourself.


149:  Crazy eyes

Note to those of you who haven't succumbed to my mail-order hypnosis: My little buddy Conor showed up at my door again on Thursday, this time bringing another park resident, his friend Jacob.

He introduced me to Jacob, and I said "I'm sorry, I don't have any kids you can play with!"

Conor answered, very sincerely, "Oh, I didn't come over to play - I just wanted you to meet Jacob."

Thirteen, of course, brought his little puffy social butterfly ass to the door while this was going on, because everyone should be petting him, right? I declined to let the boys pet him, as I don't want Thirteen that close to the door, and I am not inviting the kids inside. That's the last thing their parents need to worry about, some new park resident having their unchaperoned children in her house. Do I really give off that harmless a vibe to kids, or do the parents around here just do a piss-poor job at teaching the whole concept of stranger danger?

That's okay. Once the neighborhood tots see me out on my porch in shorts this summer, they'll be so traumatized they'll never even set foot on my driveway again.

11 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Platypus said...

You don't fool me, Missus, I knew you'd been away for a week...

I don't know how old your new little friend is but kids do seem to go through a stage where they like to introduce themselves to total strangers. As a parent it scares the hell out of me but it makes for amusing reading from a distance.

Just go all out at Halloween and convince the kids that you're a witch. I'm sure Thirteen and the rest of the crew will be up for it!

8:26 PM, March 31, 2007  
Blogger Squirl said...

Oh, I like the witch theme that Platypus suggests!

Smart move not letting the cat near the door. Those little suckers are fast.

9:26 PM, March 31, 2007  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

Nail something dead to your front door. Works for me every time.

10:09 PM, March 31, 2007  
Blogger PlazaJen said...

Will they be blinded by the white?
Wrapped up like a douche?
Another kiddo in the night?

12:04 AM, April 01, 2007  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

Seriously, if we all send you naked pictures then you may never sleep again!

6:24 AM, April 01, 2007  
Blogger here today, gone tomorrow said...

Bucky, you sound a little disappointed about not seeming to have enough "harm" in your vibe.

10:23 AM, April 01, 2007  
Blogger Flying Mermaid said...

I was starting to go under, but then realized, Hey, wait a minute! I DID send her naked pictures, didn't I? and once I'd smelled a rat, the jig was up.

I don't know what it says about either of us, but it has never occurred to me NOT to let the neiborhood kids into my house! Whenever I've lived anywhere with a neighborhood, the kids always wound up playing at my house. Now I feel awfully naive.

10:33 AM, April 01, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Maybe you should rig your doorbell with the "teenbuzz" ringtone?

4:30 PM, April 01, 2007  
Blogger Ortizzle said...

Next time they stop over tell 'em your house is really made of gingerbread. Heh, heh...

5:01 PM, April 01, 2007  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Conor and Jacob sound as if they may be mesmerized. Is it by you, dear Bucky, or by Thirteen?

10:40 PM, April 01, 2007  
Blogger hello said...

No one wants to see this naked :-). Except that silly little white dutch guy. I really should start spraying for those.

7:01 PM, April 02, 2007  

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