I went to a great little diner for breakfast the other day, whereupon I ordered a short stack of banana walnut pancakes. About halfway into the heartier-than-thou meal, I realized that I was forcing each bite down, and while the bananas tasted good to me, everything else was hitting my tastebuds like poop on a skewer, and my gut felt like I'd swallowed the Pacific Princess' anchor. At that point, I had to finally admit that my long-tenuous relationship with pancakes had to come to an end; I just don't like 'em anymore.
Ordering DVR service from my cable provider was kind of a last-minute decision, but now that I have it, my TV viewing has taken on a whole new, shiny dimension. Never again will I miss a crucial second of General Hospital, and my sister and I can sit for hours and analyze the shit from the week before. We can also pause and go frame by frame to catch the actors making the stupidest possible faces. It's glorious, just fucking glorious.
I'm in the process of painting my bedroom right now, and my hands look like I jacked off the Incredible Hulk:
Well, maybe I did.
Looking around town, I see a lot more freaky people than I used to see when I was growing up here. Seems I will have to make an effort to stand out as a true nut job around here these days.
I'm guessing you all probably lie awake at night, wondering just what I do with my social time now that I'm suddenly a swingin' single. Well, baby, here's a taste of my high life:
I can sense your intense jealousy from here.
Katy Barzedor proclaimed this to be so at 10:21 PM
15 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':
Hi. I'm from "People for the Ethical Treatment of Pancakes". Dissing pancakes in a public forum, after having mutilated, then abandoned them on a plate? I'm afraid we're going to have to take action.
At brunch last Sunday the kids had chocolate chip cookie dough pancakes. Those suckers had actual chunks of cookie dough in them. How could anyone resist THAT?
I like the Incredible Hulk Penis Green paint, by the way...
Maybe you still like pancakes... maybe you just didn't like THEIR pancakes. Maybe you should not write them off entirely. Aunt Jemima buttermilk complete pancake mix is the BEST! You just add water and cook em up! Yummmm! I find I do not like pancakes all that well when I order them from restaurants... but Aunt Jemima really knows her stuff!
Don't give up all hope!
And.. OK.. I suck at decorating.. but I would like to see the finished product of your painted room...
And so jealous of your free time to be able to read a book! (not all that jealous of the book, though... :))
Here's what I think about pancakes: crepes are so much better. And you can call them pancakes, too. Only one problem: they still haven't invented I-HOC.
Looks like your walls are going to match the Perrier bottle if you keep working on the Incredible Hulk.
You are right about the jealousy, too. I would love to get my hands on The Complete Manual of Typography. (Most people will not think I am serious about that. But I am.)
Hmm, just as well I don't let Stumpy visit here (she's only 14 and not yet ready for the wonder that is our Bucky!) or she'd get most upset at the dissing of the pancakes...
I do, however, totally agree about the DVR. I have a similar thing here and I love it. No more missing anything, ever - or having the phone ring in the middle of a programme and not seeing the end. Love it. I'd do nothing all day but watch stuff on it if I could. I know, I am that sad...
please, read this with the vehemence it requires ; cry and grit your teeth in utter outraged while your're at it.
If you've meant to hurt me , you've have -very very much
With 10,000, perhaps 100,000 anonymous paper cuts, virally spread all over the web
Good job.
Whatever you think I've done for this---- your nothing but wrong. all else is strickly your own paranoia
you've merely blindly followed at the tail end of a mob scene from lord of the flies. you've killed Simon
you've willfully misconstued and then damaged a kinder person than you seemingly know how to be -by far
go ahead, but know for yourselves thats it's not about me. It's your hate, not mine.
you don't know what you've done
There's no where else to find your enemy It's you
Stupid fucking children
would you then gladly beat and kill me with my own sticks - only for my drop in the bucket of sarcasm -not even addressed to you- just as long as you didn't know about it, do it alone or question what would deserve such callousness?
do you realize how many little fucking wannabe grownup, tv violence weened, junkies who don't know a fucking thing about me - (a better man who would never advocated such behavior to any one from anyone-
YOU FOOOOOLS
you think because you can hurt me, that I'm weak?
or better yet, that if I'm weak you should hurt me?
You blind killers!
this you, me him her, this is the problem of the world now!
1000 papercuts
You bought some fan fiction style hype, handed to you and swallowed whole, just so you could inflict it on the next passerby whom you've been told was not like you
you fucks
what you have done is the shame
I was just a little petulent is all
I don't even watch tv,
or whatever it is that's made you all so callous you might want to see a doctor for your emotional attack stance
paraniods
do you know what a Brown Shirt is, or are you to young and cool to know?
Let me not hear anyone of you talk about love and caring or any other fine yet hollow sentiments, because it's only true for you when it's easy as pie
I wouldn't treat a dog or let anyone treat a dog like this
You've really taken great pains to hurt a finr gentleman
and if you don't think so
you're just wrong one more time again
Ladies , if I happen to have misspelled a word or two, don't let that be sufficient cause for such as you to dehumanize me either\
When I make mistakes- especially such aggregious ones, yet far less than you have, I have looked at myself and apologized everytime in my life.
don't believe it, if it suits you're taste for cruelty
But don't fucking gang pile on me
that's why I've made sure to keep some small distance apart from society ever since I could
because of the people like yourselves
is there one good person among you who see's what you've meant to do, and have done to this kinder- gentler atheist?
Good Day and goodbye my pagans, christians, jews and anarchist
any actual people in those nice fancy blogs of yours or do they turn everyone into a territorial factional bunch of oblivious fascist ?
I''ll find a way to forgive you, good caring people... if I have to tear my own hair out to do it
Theres only one person that I still care to think well of me -none like you- and i'll gladly go back to my gutted delusions of that, than be here longer in your equally doomed reality
I just thought maybe someone human among you would like to know the truth
ruthless! she, needs some real and actual psychological help for such sadistic zeal
just lookl it's all right there for all to see - at least what wasn't erased of mine, portraying me as lunatic to thousands of bloggers while they- like snakes- feign innocence and feign that I deserve what they are doing
Did you ever see the movie, "the spanish prisoner "
then you'll understand me totally when I say
maven, you've been a bad girl - a verrrry bad girll
There's much more I could tell but I don't want it
I will gladly accept a deserved apology ( as I have already given- but it was erased ...several times) from those who should, for what they did, trying with all there might day after day, to humiliate me for fun
they know who they are -Maybe maven doesn't
How's yer sphincter holding, maven?
we've never actually had a chance to "talk." have we?
15 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':
Hi. I'm from "People for the Ethical Treatment of Pancakes". Dissing pancakes in a public forum, after having mutilated, then abandoned them on a plate? I'm afraid we're going to have to take action.
At brunch last Sunday the kids had chocolate chip cookie dough pancakes. Those suckers had actual chunks of cookie dough in them. How could anyone resist THAT?
I like the Incredible Hulk Penis Green paint, by the way...
Considering the, er, size of the Hulk, I'd say your hand got off easy. No pun intended.
Maybe you still like pancakes... maybe you just didn't like THEIR pancakes. Maybe you should not write them off entirely. Aunt Jemima buttermilk complete pancake mix is the BEST! You just add water and cook em up! Yummmm! I find I do not like pancakes all that well when I order them from restaurants... but Aunt Jemima really knows her stuff!
Don't give up all hope!
And.. OK.. I suck at decorating.. but I would like to see the finished product of your painted room...
And so jealous of your free time to be able to read a book! (not all that jealous of the book, though... :))
Oh, that's not jealousy you're feeling. That's gas.
The DVR is the sweetest, most excellent thing to happen to tv.
Just get the paint off your hands before you grab the remote....
Holy shit I love me some pancakes!!
I heart my DVR's (we have two, one for us, one for the minions.)
I do not heart pancakes. They stick in your throat like, like, like, ooh something gross that I don't have to think about anymore.
Here's what I think about pancakes: crepes are so much better. And you can call them pancakes, too. Only one problem: they still haven't invented I-HOC.
Looks like your walls are going to match the Perrier bottle if you keep working on the Incredible Hulk.
You are right about the jealousy, too. I would love to get my hands on The Complete Manual of Typography. (Most people will not think I am serious about that. But I am.)
I'm not always a fan of pancakes, but I do like them from that diner of which you speak.
The paint looks good on the walls, too, folks.
Hmm, just as well I don't let Stumpy visit here (she's only 14 and not yet ready for the wonder that is our Bucky!) or she'd get most upset at the dissing of the pancakes...
I do, however, totally agree about the DVR. I have a similar thing here and I love it. No more missing anything, ever - or having the phone ring in the middle of a programme and not seeing the end. Love it. I'd do nothing all day but watch stuff on it if I could. I know, I am that sad...
I don't know if it means anything or not, but my sphincter twitched whilst reading this:)
please, read this with the vehemence it requires ; cry and grit your teeth in utter outraged while your're at it.
If you've meant to hurt me , you've have -very very much
With 10,000, perhaps 100,000 anonymous paper cuts, virally spread all over the web
Good job.
Whatever you think I've done for this---- your nothing but wrong. all else is strickly your own paranoia
you've merely blindly followed at the tail end of a
mob scene from lord of the flies. you've killed Simon
you've willfully misconstued and then damaged a kinder person than you seemingly know how to be -by far
go ahead, but know for yourselves thats it's not about me. It's your hate, not mine.
you don't know what you've done
There's no where else to find your enemy It's you
Stupid fucking children
would you then gladly beat and kill me with my own sticks - only for my drop in the bucket of sarcasm -not even addressed to you- just as long as you didn't know about it, do it alone or question what would deserve such callousness?
do you realize how many little fucking wannabe grownup, tv violence weened, junkies who don't know a fucking thing about me - (a better man who would never advocated such behavior to any one from anyone-
YOU FOOOOOLS
you think because you can hurt me, that I'm weak?
or better yet, that if I'm weak you should hurt me?
You blind killers!
this you, me him her, this is the problem of the world now!
1000 papercuts
You bought some fan fiction style hype, handed to you and swallowed whole, just so you could inflict it on the next passerby whom you've been told was not like you
you fucks
what you have done is the shame
I was just a little petulent is all
I don't even watch tv,
or whatever it is that's made you all so callous
you might want to see a doctor for your emotional attack stance
paraniods
do you know what a Brown Shirt is, or are you to young and cool to know?
Let me not hear anyone of you talk about love and caring or any other fine yet hollow sentiments,
because it's only true for you when it's easy as pie
I wouldn't treat a dog or let anyone treat a dog like this
You've really taken great pains to hurt a finr gentleman
and if you don't think so
you're just wrong one more time again
Ladies , if I happen to have misspelled a word or two, don't let that be sufficient cause for such as you to dehumanize me either\
When I make mistakes- especially such aggregious ones, yet far less than you have, I have looked at myself and apologized everytime in my life.
don't believe it, if it suits you're taste for cruelty
But don't fucking gang pile on me
that's why I've made sure to keep some small distance apart from society ever since I could
because of the people like yourselves
is there one good person among you who see's what you've meant to do, and have done to this kinder- gentler atheist?
Good Day and goodbye my pagans, christians, jews and anarchist
any actual people in those nice fancy blogs of yours or do they turn everyone into a territorial factional bunch of oblivious fascist ?
I''ll find a way to forgive you, good caring people... if I have to tear my own hair out to do it
Theres only one person that I still care to think well of me -none like you- and i'll gladly go back to my gutted delusions of that, than be here longer in your equally doomed reality
I just thought maybe someone human among you would like to know the truth
P.S.
"the maven" if it's the same one as the at wfme
she's been like hitlers favorite
and she knows not a thing about me,
ruthless! she, needs some real and actual psychological help for such sadistic zeal
just lookl it's all right there for all to see - at least what wasn't erased of mine, portraying me as lunatic to thousands of bloggers
while they- like snakes- feign innocence and feign that I deserve what they are doing
Did you ever see the movie, "the spanish prisoner "
then you'll understand me totally when I say
maven, you've been a bad girl - a verrrry bad girll
There's much more I could tell but I don't want it
I will gladly accept a deserved apology ( as I have already given- but it was erased ...several times) from those who should, for what they did, trying with all there might day after day, to humiliate me
for fun
they know who they are -Maybe maven doesn't
How's yer sphincter holding, maven?
we've never actually had a chance to "talk." have we?
nice ta meetcha
wanna date
too bad!
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