the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

I'm here, I'm queer, at least I'm not Britney Spears

So many stories to tell, so little inclination to do anything but snooze in the wreckage that is my unpacking effort.

The short version: I made my final trek to the new house yesterday with Eeyore, Friday, and Thirteen in the car. They were all SO good, especially Eeyore, who I expected to be mightily stressed. He wasn't, though - at least, he never gave me any indication that he was.

Friday and Thirteen immediately started tearing around the house when we got here, which is exactly as I expected. They're kittens, which means they're made out of rubber, so resiliency is not a problem. I was worried about Eeyore in a new setting, though, as he's such a skittish boy. But amazingly, miraculously, I needn't have worried, because Eeyore seemed to know immediately that he is the king of this castle, and though he has spent a little time hiding behind my Tom Waits poster, he's spent even more time strutting through the house, finding random spots for naps, as if he's trying each place out for maximum kitty comfort. He comes into the computer room and sprawls out where I can pet him as I work, and he's delighted to have me back on my couch again where he can stomp in my hair and head butt me in the face.

Today, Tardist was over with a couple of our friends. Thirteen, of course, was a total whore and was all over everyone the whole time they were here. Friday is a sissy momma's boy, and would only go through the room running, his body low to the ground. I don't know what he thinks anyone is going to do to him - it's not like he's ever suffered a moment's abuse in his spoiled little life. But as we sat and talked, I heard Tardist say "Eeyore!" and I turned to see my little king walking - not running, but walking - into the room with all these new people in it. He walked right up to Tardist for petting, and was right by the other folks, and he didn't even flinch.

So I think I can safely say that Eeyore is adjusting better than I ever could've hoped. That makes my cold black heart burst with a rainbow confetti of joy.

I have a number of other tales to recount, including my harrowing lunch with an internet predator last Friday. But I am tired, and my typing is even worse than usual, so let me leave you with one last blip:

Squirl and I went to Target last night - because when is it ever not a good idea to go to Target? - and when we were ready to check out, we got in line behind a family with a very young daughter sitting in their cart. As we loaded our houseware thingy stuffs on the conveyor, I heard the little girl exclaim "Buttcrack!" Squirl froze and looked at me, and whispered, "Did she just say 'buttcrack'?"

I nodded and we chuckled a little, then the little girl started riffing, just so as to leave no doubt in anyone's mind: "Buttcrack! Buttcrack! Buttcrack!" She was playing a solo on the one note she knew would please everyone. Squirl muttered to me, "You need to blog this."

So, folks - if I can't be coherent, at least I can bring you a family-sized serving of buttcrack.

23 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Lynn said...

I'm glad you made it home safely with your babies, Bucky.

I once showed a house to a guy while the seller was at home fixing the pipe under the kitchen sink. He had a major case of plumber's pants. Afterward, the buyer said he wanted me to "write a contract on ole' buttcrack's house". I, of course, was charmed and dated this buyer for a while after our business was concluded.

2:59 AM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Flying Mermaid said...

Somebody give that little girl a mic! She could sing it, become the next Touretta Lynn!

4:37 AM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger here today, gone tomorrow said...

I'm glad to hear you and the 3 furburgers are settling in. Go Eeyore!! Oh yeah, buttcrack, buttcrack, buttcrack! (Hee! That was fun.)

7:36 AM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Susie said...

See what you've started? Now everyone wants to do it:

Buttcrack! Buttcrack! Buttcrack!

(Touretta Lynn, now that's funny)

7:58 AM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Squirl said...

I told you needed to blog buttcrack.

And, folks, what really surprised me is that the mother looked like the normal, middle class, could-easily-be -very-uptight type of woman. But either she was blocking it out, or was a very wise woman and didn't acknowledge it one way or the other.

Bucky and I, on the other hand, chuckled like school girls who just heard a naughty joke.

8:25 AM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

Yay!!!
I'm so glad you made it home.
Very glad Eeyore is doing well, too.

Buttcrack! Buttcrack! Buttcrack!
heh

9:52 AM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

The kids gets on the 'crack younger and younger these days.

This is where I am supposed to act appalled.

10:24 AM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger whfropera said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

12:08 PM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger whfropera said...

and one of the cats now has a new nickname

12:08 PM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Oh good God. If I lived in Michigan, I would have thought you were behind us in line at Target. Sweet Pea LOVES the word "buttcrack" or "buttcheek" or anything she knows we really wouldn't want her to yell in a public place. Lucky us, she is teaching her brother her favorite words, too...

I'm glad you made it home with the kitties all safe and sound!

12:36 PM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Touretta Lynn - My new name for Sweet Pea :)

12:37 PM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger eclectic said...

It was your good influence on her that made her shout buttcrack -- she just wanted to impress you. ;)

1:09 PM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Debbie said...

Buttcrack!!! Heehee!

So glad to hear the kitties made the move okay -- that was one of the most stressful things I ever had to do (for me and the cats).

2:49 PM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Effies said...

"Touretta Lynn" LOL!!

I have to remember things like this...I'm worried about what my little girl's first word will be...my hubby's was "shut up", I would prefer if my Katie's was "mama" or something similar!

4:11 PM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

You shoulda handed her a tube of caulking.

4:21 PM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Charlotte in Pa said...

Follow this link to what is destined to be your favorite candy: http://www.blaircandy.com/zibukreg9ct.html

5:08 PM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...

This my friend is what kids do.
My daughter called my step son a shit ass the other night.
Instead of punishing her
we all laughed so hard we pee'd.
Nice.

5:28 PM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Platypus said...

I'm so glad you're all in the new place and that boys are settling in well.

Ah, children, don't you just love 'em? Thank you for sharing that tale of the kid at Target. Stumpy keeps my blog filled with all the stuff she comes out with but yelling obscenities is something she probably saves for when I'm not around. I think recording their outbursts for ever on the internet is the least we can do.

6:22 PM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I am so glad to know that you and the felines are safely into your new home.

Here's a Celtic prayer of blessing for your home:

"May you have -
Walls for the wind
And a roof for the rain,
And drinks bedside the fire
Laughter to cheer you
And those you love near you,
And all that your heart may desire."

8:05 PM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Ortizzle said...

Glad you and the critters made it safe and sound!

Buttcrack?! Jesus. What the hell were the parents doing when she said that? (Maybe I should say "What the hell were the parents talking about?") That could only have been funnier if she had said it in church.

8:34 PM, February 21, 2007  
Blogger Susie said...

I think your buttcrack is spilling over onto my blog.
I may sue.

3:39 PM, February 22, 2007  
Blogger sheryl_stephen said...

I'm happy to hear that Eeyore and the boys are doing so well.

My old kitty Suka lived the first twelve years of nineteen with a much larger and much more aggressive cat who made her life hell. Reuben who was 20 lbs heavier used to sit on Suka if she was lying in the sunshine, try to eat all her food and beat her up if she got on the bed.

We thought Suka had a certain set personality (GROUCHY) until Reuben suddenly died.

Suka's personality positively bloomed after that. The last seven years of her life I kept my promise not to upset her claim as queen of my household and she was sweet (to me anyway) and joyful, in her 4 lb, toothless, tail-dragging, french-fry-eating curmudgeonly way...

4:32 PM, February 22, 2007  
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

I see a whole new legacy for Eeyore - Social Butterfly. And I am sure that kid simply saw a sister in you celebrating all that is absurd. And had to share her glee.

9:57 PM, February 22, 2007  

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