the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Now I'll NEVER get laid

In my last post, I wrote about accidentally embarrassing myself; this post is all about purposely embarrassing myself.

While looking for something else (I'm a little vague on the details, but I think it takes 4 "D" batteries and shoots canned milk), I ran across my yearbooks from junior high school. I never got any high school yearbooks, so my snapshots of classmates long forgotten stop at 1980. These books are treasure troves of every wrong fashion choice that could possibly be made, and that's just my pictures!

Here's my 7th grade picture, from the 1977-78 school year. I remember it well because I'd forgotten that it was picture day. When my friend came over to ride to school with me, she reminded me, in front of my mom, that it was picture day, and why didn't I change out of that ratty striped t-shirt that made me look like a convict?

Fuck that.

7th grade (1977-1978)
Rebel without a wardrobe.

The bitch of it is, of all three pictures, that one is my favorite. What, you figured they would get better each year, as I came closer to womanhood? Sure, sure...about as close to womanhood as Dennis Rodman.

Want more proof? Here's 8th grade, from 1978-79:

8th grade (1978-1979)
Who could resist? Sign here.

But Katy, I can almost hear you say, surely by 9th grade, you had a better handle on what would make you more attractive, right?

Not that I enjoy contradicting you, lovely Internet as a Whole, but...WRONG!

Exhibit C: 9th grade, 1979-80:

9th grade (1979-1980)

What, I repeat what the fuck was that hair supposed to be doing? Not quite a mullet, not quite a Muppet. How in the name of sweet Jesus swandiving Christ did I ever lose my virginity with that hairdo and those glasses?

Looks just like the type to grow up to be one of those skeevy bloggers, huh?

13 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger here today, gone tomorrow said...

Erm, don't know what this says about me, but I think you are real cute.

5:51 PM, July 18, 2007  
Blogger Unknown said...

Rather cute for a four-eyed rebel.

8:05 PM, July 18, 2007  
Blogger Squirl said...

I remember big glasses like that. And was that around the time that people were calling us twins??

8:24 PM, July 18, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy crap. You had the Farrah Fawcett "wings".
I'm in total awe of that hair.

11:09 PM, July 18, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Was gonna say exactly what htgt, word for word.

5:57 PM, July 19, 2007  
Blogger Unknown said...

oh...the Farrah Fawcett wings. I went from that haircut in 1980 right to the Barbra Streisand "A Star Is Born" poodle perm.

5:58 PM, July 19, 2007  
Blogger I'm not here. said...

Who hasn't had a few photos of them that they didn't want to burn?
God knows I have.

9:02 PM, July 19, 2007  
Blogger I'm not here. said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:02 PM, July 19, 2007  
Blogger I'm not here. said...

That one deleted was me. Gotta lay off the imaginary Scotch and switch to the real shit.
Long day at work. :\

9:05 PM, July 19, 2007  
Blogger eclectic said...

Moppet meets mullet... I think it's really nice of you (and me) to have worn hair like that so today's kids have something to laugh at.

1:44 AM, July 20, 2007  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

Then again, kids today wear pants 18 sizes too big. They have no room to laugh.

2:23 PM, July 20, 2007  
Blogger Stepmom said...

the last 2 pictures remind of the 2 years i wore the EXACT same outfit (down to the galloping horse necklace) for my pictures. i think it was like 3rd & 4th grades.

our pictures were always taken on the hottest fall day which makes me wonder how you could have worn turtlenecks twice!

12:03 AM, July 21, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm, the hairdo looks like you were growing out of the Farrah Fawcett feathered thing everyone had at one point or another?

I had big glasses too, with the temple bars on the bottom; nowadays all the geriatrics wear them.

12:46 AM, July 23, 2007  

Post a Comment

<< Home