the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Diva of design

Hi. My name is Katy and I'm addicted to Bravo.

It started innocently enough. "A little Top Chef won't hurt now and then, just socially. I can take it or leave it."

Then it escalated. "No, I can't come with you to the free beer and horny strippers party - are you insane? Project Runway is on tonight!"

Before I knew it, I was spinning out of control in a frenzy of Real Housewives, Shear Geniuses, and aspiring Supermodels. I realized I had hit rock bottom the morning I woke up twitching in a rat-laden alley with my veins full of Date My Ex; I felt so dirty and cheap, and not in a good way.

I've tried to step away from the Bravo, really I have. But the lure of the gayest reality TV in the history of gay reality TV has proven too strong for me. Of course, you know I'm not going to ever Just Say No to Project Runway, especially in this, its final season on Bravo. Where else would I have met my imaginary TV girlfriend, the much-maligned (perhaps deservedly so, but don't talk about my woman like that!) Kenley?


"Only Katy can harness the power of my brattiness for the good of human sexuality."


And as each season of
Real Housewives becomes more absurd, how can I possibly stop watching the train run off the tracks, over and over again? Then there's Tabatha's Salon Takeover, which is impossible to resist when Tabatha spouts abrasive gems like "Here's your smoking schedule: Fuck off!"

However, I decided to take a small step toward recovery and had made up my mind that I would not become addicted to Top Design. But Bravo is one sneaky-ass pusher, and scheduled it immediately after Project Runway. So, the night it premiered, I'd left the TV on after PR, and wasn't really paying the show any mind...until this designer was introduced. None of us will ever be the same after this clip.




God help us all. I've never watched the whole episode, so maybe there's hope for me, but anytime I see they're rerunning it, I stop and watch Wisit sing (there's actually a little more to the song, but I couldn't find a complete clip...if you see it being shown, I urge you to watch it, just to see him finish the song and then look down in the most hilarious display of demure I've ever witnessed).

The only thing I can say at this point is that someone may need to come put a toe tag on me when Real Housewives of Atlanta premieres.

12 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger here today, gone tomorrow said...

Bravo has ruined my life. I used to read, I used to talk on the phone - to live people. I used to play with my cats. I used to try to better myself with online courses.

No more.

(Ooooooo!!! When does the Atlanta Housewives start??)

9:19 AM, September 21, 2008  
Anonymous Susie said...

Bucky and HTGT, if we ever decide to get help, maybe we can get a group rate. Not only do I watch most of these shows, but I watch them over and over, even when I can practically recite them. At least you two live alone(ish). The fam does not understand my addiction. Except the little one is way into PR with me now, too.
I liked Big Daddy (Kerry) on the design show.
I want the NYC Housewives to come back.
I love to be scared by Tabatha.
My hairdresser does not watch Shear Genius. How can that be? If there were a reality show competition by people in your line of work, would you be able to resist? Not me.
Sorry I said Kenley was being a brat. (But she was.)

10:36 AM, September 21, 2008  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

HTGT - I can't find the exact date, but Real Housewives of Atlanta premieres next month, maybe early in the month.

Susie - Yeah, I kinda watch the reruns into the ground, too. It's sad/scary, but it's what I do.

And Kenley IS bratty. I'm pretty sure she's in dire need of a spanking. From me.

10:44 AM, September 21, 2008  
Blogger Squirl said...

I've only ever watched these at your place, but I have picked up some of the catch phrases. That's probably enough. :-)

3:41 PM, September 21, 2008  
Blogger Flying Mermaid said...

What's this about Real Housewives of Atlanta? Are you just trying to see if I'm paying attention, or is this legit? Do NOT tell me it's the Black version!

The length of that clip is unforgivable!

5:14 PM, September 21, 2008  
Blogger Opera Gal said...

now you *know* I had to show up and comment on this one.

if he designs as badly as he sings, then he'll gone in the first week.

oohhhuurrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhh

8:29 PM, September 22, 2008  
Blogger eclectic said...

Wondered if OperaGal would have a comment on this! HILARIOUS!!

Dude, seriously... I thought I was just being left out because everyone is watching the Bravo, but now? I feel like I may be the only one who survives the apocalypse. ;)

12:22 AM, September 23, 2008  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

When is the appropriate time to stage an intervention?

I have had enough with reality. I want my non-reality television back.

12:44 PM, September 23, 2008  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Hmmmmm... Generally, the only time I see Bravo is when I climb past it to get from BBC America to The History Channel.

1:10 AM, September 24, 2008  
Anonymous sheryl said...

I'm with you on PR of course. Though I never get to watch it live, ever!

I watch Top Chef too. Again never live. Mark cannot stand Bravo.

I saw a few minutes of Top Design but wasn't sure I could stomach the host's voice. That guy who sang is such an odd duck. He seems to always be laughing and giggling. I saw the part last week where the client asked for minimalist elements and he was dead set on rococo wallpaper. Dude, do your eardrums work??? I'm curious and may watch more.

I saw one of Tabatha's shows and thought she was awesomely bitchy and brash. I kinda like her. Like Judge Judy, she uses those insults and inappropriate comments to get people to pay attention, and because she's always right, it works.

Kenley is super bratty and stubborn and a tad arrogant, sure. But she's very talented. I forgive her, just like I forgave Christian last season. I wish she could see that some of the other people around her are talented too. She's been in a bit of a spiral lately and I hope she pulls out of it tonight.

7:07 PM, September 24, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey,

Have you ever watched Jon & Kate plus 8? I think they are on TLC, anyway...I do not have kids but this show, I can not turn away from it...weird I know. Kate, is always a B to Jon and their kids are really cute, just enough to hook ya.

10:50 AM, September 25, 2008  
Anonymous Maven said...

I love how one of the vids used the word, "Gaysian" to describe him. Poor guy. Thought he was quite good with the falsetto tho!

9:23 PM, October 15, 2008  

Post a Comment

<< Home