the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Peer pressure leads to TMI

Alright, I've caved in; several of my friends have done the "100 pieces of heartfelt blah blah about me" and I have become a copy fuckin' cat.

Plus, I can't think of a topic more fascinating to me than...me. How many times can I use the word "I" in a single post?

So here goes a lotta somethin' or nothin':

  1. I have a vagina. Really I do.
  2. You won't ever see it here.
  3. I have been a four-eyes since I was eight years old.
  4. I now wear dark glasses 100% of the time because I get hellish migraines, and bein' surprised by bright lights is an easy trigger for that shit.
  5. That was really not fun when I was onstage in the band. I learned how to not look directly into the stage lights.
  6. If you shine a bright light directly into my eyes on purpose, I will kick your ass when my vision clears.
  7. If I won the lottery, really won a huge amount, I wouldn't even pretend that I'd still work. Yeah, as if.
  8. I've been told many times in my life that I could do much better at [insert task] if only I would apply myself and try harder.
  9. Sometimes I follow that advice. Other times I just laugh and eat some more pretzels.
  10. I love pretzels. Certain kinds. Not the big, soft pretzels, but the regular sized, curly pretzels. Not butter pretzels (retch). Made Rite pretzels, or Mr. Salty pretzels (do they still make those?).
  11. I can't dance, not a step, but I love danceable music. 'Specially hard funk. Yowza!
  12. I became totally stagestruck when, at the age of 7, I was taken by my parents to see a community theater production of Man of La Mancha. We went because Squirl was in the pit orchestra.
  13. I was obsessed with Man of La Mancha for a couple of years thereafter, which my parents found both highly amusing and slightly alarming ; the main female character in the show is a low-rent prostitute who, at one point in the show, is gang raped by muleteers. Yeah, nice. Do you begin to understand my personality now?
  14. I was also briefly obsessed with Fiddler on the Roof, which my parents found altogether more child friendly.
  15. I took on the challenging role of Roo in a community theater production of Winnie the Pooh when I was 8. Squirl played Kanga. They were goin' for family lookalike realism, I guess.
  16. I play piano and guitar with varying levels of harsh amateurism.
  17. Nonetheless, I have some beautiful, kickass guitars that are much too nice for me
    Groovy Geetar
  18. I studied cello in grade school, and was pretty good at it.
  19. A month after I beat out all the older cello players for first chair, our district cancelled orchestra so that they could instead give extra funding to the football program.
  20. I was so pissed by this turn of events that I switched to string bass and studied that for a couple of years.
  21. At age 13, I was offered a spot playing string bass in the West Shore Youth Symphony. Being young and utterly stupid, I turned it down.
  22. I still wonder to this day if I'd be makin' my living in a symphony now, had I only chosen differently. Yeah, that's my own footprint on my ass.
  23. I never took school really seriously until I had to pay for it myself.
  24. I took school way too seriously when I was payin' for it myself. Think sudden bursts of hysterical sobbing in the middle of exam crams. Think poor, bewildered husband doin' what he can to calm the hysteria. Think crazy bitch with puffy eyes acin' her tests.
  25. That said, I don't like to cry, especially in front of anybody.
  26. I have a collection of Babylon 5 figurines. I should do a photo session sometime.
  27. I love Babylon 5 enough to marry it.
  28. Some of my favorite movies are Clint Eastwood westerns.
  29. Jim and I can sit and recite entire scenes from The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly, or High Plains Drifter, or The Outlaw Josey Wales.
  30. I am slowly (?) becoming my mother.
  31. My first three concerts, in chronological order, were the Beach Boys (with all three Wilson brothers), Captain and Tennille, and Tom Waits.
  32. Things changed for me after I saw Tom Waits.
  33. I got to see Frank Zappa three times.
  34. I have no fashion sense or color matching skills.
  35. I wear a lot of black, not only because I like it, but because it makes my decisions easier.
  36. I'm terrible at returning phone calls.
  37. I love my assless chaps.
  38. Some days, my hair just goes on strike.
  39. I can't drive a stickshift, and have zero interest in learning how.
  40. If I could walk around all day in jammie pants and a wife beater, I'd go for it.
  41. I'm just lucid enough not to try this at work, ever.
  42. I really wish I could make money at this writing thing.
  43. I know better than to think I could ever make more than pocket money in the music business.
  44. I wrote a lot of songs before I finally admitted the truth of #43.
  45. I started kindergarten three months after Jim graduated from high school.
  46. I'm a happy, horny drunk.
  47. I'm a decent singer, within my range, but I haven't seriously practiced in over a year.
  48. Since I started to blog, I haven't really much given a rat's ass about playin' music.
  49. I'd love to make time to paint again someday.
  50. I like to paint with fluorescent watercolors; there will never come a day when I don't think black light pictures are groovy.
  51. I used to say "groovy" to be stupid and irritate people, but I've come to really enjoy the word for itself.
  52. The older I get, the less I mind tellin' people when they come off as ignorant fuckin' racists/homophobes.
  53. I was raised Catholic, but rejected the church by about age 12.
  54. I identified as an athiest for a few years, but I came to feel like that implied that I had some knowledge that I really don't. So call me benevolently agnostic.
  55. I do believe in treating people with basic human respect...until a person specifically gives me reason not to.
  56. I really hate confrontation.
  57. I am not, nor have I ever been, the least bit athletically inclined.
  58. I have always had theme songs for all my pets. Sometimes it's something I make up, sometimes it's adapted from another song, but they all need a song.
  59. Given sufficient alcohol and encouragement, I just might make an audioblog of #58.
  60. I never think I watch much TV, but by god, if anybody starts talkin' about commercials, I can jump right in and know what I'm talkin' about.
  61. I've kicked my fair share of ass at Trivial Pursuit.
  62. I have seven abandoned ear/body piercings.
  63. There are several I really miss.
  64. I won't get anything redone, except maybe my earlobes. I have no patience for healing times anymore.
  65. I enjoy watching sports with Jim, but, that said, if sports disappeared from the planet tomorrow, I wouldn't be excessively bothered.
  66. I've been called many variations on my name (Kathleen) including Katy, Kathy, Kitty, Kate, Kay, Katy Kat, and Kit Kat.
  67. My name means "pure" -- I think that's pretty accurate, don't you?
  68. I could never be in love with anybody who didn't "get" my humor and couldn't in turn keep me crackin' up all the time. Gut-wrenching laughter is right up there on my Playboy bio list of turn ons.
  69. I got mad skillz.
  70. I have some pretty sexy boots I will wear when I lose about 30 more pounds.
  71. I don't know how long I've actually had it, but I noticed my first grey hairs in the last year or so. Actually, past grey and right to white. What the fuck?
  72. I can be a real asshole when I stop smoking. Sorry, anybody who's crossed my path in the last week.
  73. My prom date grew up to be very, very gay.
  74. I swear it wasn't my fault!
  75. I'm sure glad we didn't get married.
  76. I failed the sewing portion of Home Ec in junior high.
  77. I failed a semester of Phys Ed in high school because I wouldn't get in the pool.
  78. I'm a bit afraid of water, unless it's in a tub or something.
  79. I learned how to swim across the pool, in the shallow end, in order to pass the class and graduate. And I have not swum since then.
  80. I have rosacea.
  81. There are plenty of times I like to draw the entire room's attention to myself. While I'm eating is not one of those times.
  82. I'm horrified to eat too close to small children, as they are never very discreet when it comes to flyin' spit and other bodily fluids.
  83. I have never changed a diaper, and I intend to keep it that way.
  84. With an older husband, though, that could change.
  85. The only new car I've ever owned was my 2000 Camaro. I liked to refer to it as my midlife crisis car.



  86. I talk to animals as if they have any fuckin' idea what I'm talkin' about.
  87. I think Strangers With Candy might just be the funniest, sickest, wrongest show ever on TV.
  88. I'm practically peein' my pants in anticipation of the fall 2005 release of the Strangers With Candy movie.
  89. I love to be around people, but when I'm ready to be alone, that's it. At that point, do not crowd me, lest ye be faced with Belligerent Bucky.
  90. I actually like to use the UNIX vi editor. I sometimes try to issue :wq and dd and cw commands when I'm in MS Word, much to my chagrin.
  91. I'm pretty liberal, politically and socially. But I don't buy into any party line as a whole, whatever it is. I believe most issues are more complex than simple black or white, paper or plastic choices.
  92. I don't feel sorry for you if you won't do a damn thing to help yourself.
  93. I am thankful for all I have now, and always mindful that my macaroni and cheese days are not that far behind me, and could happen again at any time.
  94. I don't think money buys happiness, nor do I think stuff is more important than people.
  95. That said, I really like gettin' money and cool stuff.
  96. I'm a very good tipper. I always figure, hey, that could be me. Glad it's not.
  97. I think it's a horrid, half-witted idea to be rude to anyone who will handle your food out of your sight.
  98. I walk extremely fast without realizin' it.
  99. I had about a year and a half of French in high school. Of course, I only remember the dirty words and rude phrases.
  100. That said, I'm told I speak French fluently (see #69).

31 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Hmm this list explains many things, and yet, something seems to be missing...


Let me think on that, Ill be back.

7:43 PM, June 09, 2005  
Anonymous Amanda B. said...

That guitar kicks ass. :D

9:26 PM, June 09, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

Nils told me it took him 5 days to write his - I have been working on mine for 1 and it killing me.

That said, my cat has a song and it is..."Tennis Ball Head" sung to the tune of "Little Drummer Boy", and it goes like this:

Linus has a ten-nis ball head.
Its soft and black and round - the tennis ball head
He has sharp pointed ears the tennis ball head
And claws that sting and scratch
The tennis ball head
Tennis ball head
Tennis ball head...

There is a second verse, I'm sure you've heard enough.

So...I guess i should break down and do a personal blog, shouldn't I?
(laughs)

9:28 PM, June 09, 2005  
Blogger She who shall not be named said...

46: Me too. Although sometimes I head to the bad place. :(

9:57 PM, June 09, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Jess -- If you have to think about it and come back, I think I should be afraid, be very afraid.
In Blogspace, no one can hear you scream.

'Manda B-- Hi girl! Thanks, I'll bet you could play her a lot better than I do. The guitar, people, the guitar.

Opera gal - I wrote this in a couple of sessions today, probably two or three hours total. Whew! That's a lovely song for Linus...I think YOU should do an audioblog!

She who... I'm always pretty jolly when I drink. I just get all giggly, and couldn't be mad at anybody if I tried. And alcohol renders me easy pickin's. And how can I be bummed when I'm easy? Easy like Sunday mornin'...

10:25 PM, June 09, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

Just when I thought I couldn't love you more. I get migraines, too, but not often, thankfully. I'm tired. I'll come back another time to make pithy comments. Pithy, that's "pissy" with a lisp. Lithp. I love these lists. I'm doing mine 10 at a time. I'm up to 20.

10:47 PM, June 09, 2005  
Blogger Torrie said...

Move to NY. NOW.

12:28 AM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

Forget it, Torrie ... she's moving to PEI. She is the me I've always wanted .. because of #1. Once we are together, I will never again leave the house.

1:07 AM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

If I did, I would sing the Pres des ramparts from Carmen, with the interpolated wicked laugh, just so I could watch Nils lose all composure for at least 60 seconds. I am famous for my truly wicked "come over here and get into trouble laugh". ok, that one goes into the meme.

7:25 AM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Susie - Gettin' pithy wit it, na na na na na na, na na na na na na, gettin' pithy wit it...

Torrie - Was it the "happy, horny drunk" that gotcha, or the "mad skillz"?

Nilbo - I know with you, it's always about the vagina.

Opera gal - yes, we must hear your wicked laugh, as well as your song for Linus.

8:26 AM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger Kitty said...

No - move to MI Bucky! Oh... shoot.

Love the list! Out of all the funny shit the thing that really stuck with me is the "I've never changed a diaper but just might as my hubby's older..." comment. I've always dated men older than me and never thought of it that way :)

8:49 AM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger spoonleg said...

I CANT WAIT FOR STRANGERS WITH CANDY. Bucky, let's go see it together.

Oscar wants to know if you will make him a theme song because I am a negligent parent who never made him one. He also requests that you use that KICK ASS FUCKING PINK PAISLEY GUITAR.

That is all.

9:09 AM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger Greenthumb said...

B4E said,:"I don't think money buys happiness, nor do I think stuff is more important than people. That said, I really like gettin' money and cool stuff."

I'm right there with you...like that was a big discovery for everyone. "hello D70...how you doin'?" That is all...

10:24 AM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger Spurious Plum said...

So you're multilingual? Why is it that when I type 'multilingual' in your comments, does it look totally dirty...

10:51 AM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Kitty - it's definitely a consideration. Also spoon feeding. And sponge baths.
Just so you know.

Spoonie - it's a date! We can throw popcorn at Mr. Noblet together...
And I'll get back to you on Oscar's theme song. I'm sure I can work somethin' up. This might turn into a mega audio post.

Greenie - I wish somebody would "surprise" me with a D70! Or even an 8800. Anything that snaps shots faster than my Kodak.

Plum - I speak in many tongues.

Huh huh huh...

11:09 AM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger Annejelynn said...

#97 - totally made me spit-all-over laugh!

12:15 PM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

Plum, Bucky has a dirty filter on her comments page. Everything gets dirty-ized here.

Now, I'm going to do here what I said was compulsive and pathological at Nilbo's, i.e., read your list and take notes. And this is because you bring out the compulsive and pathological in me :)

17. Your guitar is exquisite and not one bit too nice, just perfect for you.

22. I started taking piano in my mid 30s. I may yet take up violin. As Lenny Kravitz tells me, "Baby, it ain't over 'til it's over."

40. Amen. Me, too.

58. I do this, too! You must audioblog. Biscuit's song is lame, though, to the tune of the Smurfs' theme.

71. I hate and despise and abhor spending time and money on hair coloring. I am aspiring to Emmylou Harris's long, white and hot look.

93. Yep, me too. And we'd still be OK.

12:20 PM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger SierraBella said...

#83 and #84... (the diaper bit)cracked me up! Mr. SB is just 3 years older than me, so we'll be going neck and neck on this one.
Love the guitar too!

12:22 PM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Too many memories in this one to come up with a comment. Overload! You didn't tell everyone that Don Quixote was really your favorite character, though, in Man of La Mancha.

Do you think you could fix the cast picture from Pooh? That would make a fun post.

12:36 PM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

I did my 100 list.

5:17 PM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Annejelynn - I just squirm and dread my food if a dining companion is rude to the waitress (especially when it's for no apparent reason).

Susie - I could dig the Emmylou Harris hair look. I'm afraid mine won't happen fast enough for the full effect, though.

Sierrabella - it's something I took into consideration when I married Mr. Chaps. In fact, when the time comes, I'll just put him in chaps and a bedpan. No muss, no fuss.

Squirl - no, I didn't want to play the prostitute. I wanted to act, not duplicate real life onstage. ;)
And good list!

8:05 PM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Tee-hee, Bucky, and thanks.

8:09 PM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger greatwhitebear said...

Bucky, you certainly have enough talent to make money at writing! wrtie about stuff that interests you, and start submitting it to as many publications as you can, get an agent. Submit stuff ot your local paper. Keep at it.

10:50 PM, June 10, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Great list.
Awesome guitar.
Cool car.

That is all.

12:21 AM, June 11, 2005  
Blogger Amy said...

I love this post, Bucky. I love that you still play guitar. I love that you tip well. I love that you have rosacea.

Wait. That sounded weird. Oh well. I still love you and all your 100 things.

2:39 AM, June 11, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

So why, again, did you not have sympathy for the youth?

6:43 AM, June 11, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

Bucky, I'll thank you to keep hair reality to yourself. Mine isn't going instantly shockingly white, it's a weird strand or two here and there. But you don't have to kill my dreams. Some day. SOME DAY, I will awake to find that overnight, I've gone Emmylouesque.

I agree with greatwhitebear, you do have options there.

1:33 PM, June 11, 2005  
Anonymous jimmy2eyes said...

Yup, that was me watching the Buckster leading pretend charges across the school yard with a cardboard sword and a paper mustash (#43) and I said to myself 2eyes that girl is for you!...only later when I found the brief case, business vest and a bow tie did I come to conclude that she was in fact a five year old office geek... OK works for me either way!

2:08 PM, June 11, 2005  
Blogger Kitty said...

Great. Day late, dolla short... got my 100 out there too finally.

Squirl beat me to it!

4:17 PM, June 11, 2005  
Blogger Kitty said...

Can't let Squirly girly beat you on comments - 30!

4:18 PM, June 11, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Kitty loves 30+ comments. :-)

2:44 PM, June 12, 2005  

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