Yes, they exist
Assless chaps (redundant, I know)
Originally uploaded by Bucky Four-Eyes.
As you can plainly see, the rumor of my Assless Chaps is no longer just a rumor. I've got 'em, I wear 'em, I like 'em.
I know, I know, all that black leather and nary a motorcycle in sight. But just 'cause I'm not a biker doesn't mean I can't dress like one. And I quite often do.
The chaps are often worn with naught but boots, but I thought I'd be somewhat modest here. Hi Jim, I swiped your favorite boxers! And don't they look gooooood on my ass?
I think it was Kitty who asked, "Do they even make pink chaps?" The answer to that is a resounding YES! Unfortunately, the pink chaps cost about three times what the black ones do. Wasn't too hard a choice, though, as black leather may just be my color/fabric of choice for life.
Think I should get 'em personalized? I mean, even more personal than my bare ass hangin' out the back. And on a side note, did you know that chaps are assless in front too?
Jim: "That's crotchless, honey. Crotchless."
Me: "Logic be fucked, I wanna say 'assless in front' 'assless in front' over and over again."
Jim: "Whatever." (he takes his cues from the book Humoring the Shit Out of Bucky)
Me: "Assless in front! Assless in front!"
So, anyway...Behold the Chaps, for they are Assless.
Katy Barzedor proclaimed this to be so at 10:02 AM
25 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':
Do you know what goes really well with assless-in-the-front-chaps?
A FUPA.
http://flickr.com/photos/torrie/16928440/
What I like about FUPA is the 'P' is so versatile.
Bucky? The Angels keep telling me that when it comes to clothing "black and blue do not go together." So can we reshoot this without the blue shorts?
Thanks deary!
I don't know what disturbs me (in an oh-so-very-tingly way) more: the fact that you do, in fact, own a pair of assless chaps (redundant though it may be), or the fact that Jim owns a pair of sparkly blue boxers.
I just wanna say I love email.
And that I bet Jim is all sassy in his sparkly blues.
I feel so betrayed. I thought this picture was just mine. And SierraBella's. Now that you've gone this far, though, you really should go all the way. You know you want to. You snakey horn dog.
I think Susie's logic (and judgement regarding your wants) is unassailable. Hee. ASSailable.
Gee, I thought Susie and me were special... and now you go and share with everyone!
Didn't Jim have a G-String you could have borrowed instead?
As your older sister I feel morally responsible to tell you to KEEP the boxers ON. Especially since it's assless in front.
I'd like to see the assless in front part, myself. With your naughty bits covered modestly, of course.
Oh, wait, I forgot it was you for a second there.
Torrie - I curse Strizz for explaing FUPA to me. Now I see 'em everywhere. God help us all...
Dazed - The versatile FUPA. Slap it, snap it, thwack it, and it comes back for more.
Mr. B - the angels will be so ashamed that you peeked at the chap-framed ass...
And black and blue go together perfectly well. Just look for the spots on my arms the day after a good drunk.
LadyBug - it's OK to be dazzled/disturbed by the display of sparkly blue boxer wholesomeness. Maybe I need to put some sparkly boxers on my Cafe Press shop, hmmmm...
Susie - now, you know very well you are in possession of chaps photos that are NOT displayed here. You just wanna see the unobstructed view of my ass cheeks, don't you? For shame, Susie, for shaaaaaaame...
Nilbo - Simma dahn nah. Don't make me ASSault you.
Oh, wait, I think you'd like it...
Sierrabella - check your email, darlin' - you're still special...
Squirl - Not to worry. I think posting the bare-ass shots would be a quick ticket to divorce court for me. Or maybe a good, old-fashioned firing.
And people, people, people. You should be really, really thankful you're not eyeballin' the "assless in front" shots, 'cause they do exist. Kinky and, ultimately, kind of upsetting, in a "scary clown" kind of way.
Misfit, you snuck one in on me!
Yes, the assless in front shots (I mean, if there was theoretically more than one, heh heh heh) are not even redeemable with modesty blockers.
And don't think I didn't try. I like to share with my friends (and make 'em cry).
Okay, I give up.
WTF is FUPA?
LadyBug -
Strizz brought this to my attention in the waning days of Dooce comments.
According to Urban Dictionary:
FUPA=Acronym for "Fat Upper Pubic Area"
Oh. Oh dear. "Also known as the front-butt." Okay. Well. Wow.
Well thanks Bucky-
Mr. SB just packed him bags and left mumbling something about the quickest route to Flint, Michigan...
I just want to bed you over and play the bongos on your butt!
DAAYYYY-OOOOOOOO Daaayyyyyyy ieeoooo, daylight come and me wanna go home! Day! Me say dayyy-oooo day light come and me wanna go home.
Come Mister tally man tally me bannana, day light come an me wanna go home....
I just wanna rock out on your butt cheeks, calypso style baby.
Sierrabella - he won't get far...the Chaps Police will stop him at the Michigan border.
Jess - I can safely say that no one's ever directed the phrase "I just wanna rock out on your butt cheeks, calypso style baby." at me before.
Now I'll have that song stuck in my head all night, dammit! I'll be playin' the bongos on my own butt before all's said and done.
F U P A!
Bucky, I came here after reading your comment on Nilbo's blog. I want to hear the story of you getting permanently banned from AOL for life. I think that should definitely be a blog entry!
As I said in my reply at Nilbo's, I will harass you here until you tell it ;)
mrtl, front butt? In the movie sexy beast, Ben Kingsley calls it his front bottom.
Kitty - Rocky's Outdoor Outfitters in Burton, MI. Pink chaps. Let the fingers fly!
What a sparkly blueberry bottom you have!
Love how your hands are up against the wall. You got a dirty mind and criminal style, Katy Kaverna.
SpaceBalls has a wonderful butt in the front scene.
Oh mY GOD Bucky, that is so funny, I can't even type right....
I woulda done the same thing...Assless in front, assless in front.
Post a Comment
<< Home