the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Friday, May 27, 2005

High stupidity factor

this is an audio post - click to play

I'm not even sure what accent I'm goin' for here. It started with the Swedish Chef from the Muppets, and just devolved. Mork mork mork! Also, I was in the parking lot at work recording this from my cell phone, and boy, did I get some looks.

20 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Susie said...

You're turning 40! Not turning Svedish, yah?!
I done tol' you, forty is the beginning of the best SEX of your life, I don't care how good it was before. No black crepe paper, black lingerie!
Buh bye.
Bucky's gonna be gir-irl, Bucky's gonna be a gir-irl!

9:22 AM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Susie just beat me in here for comments.

Glitter?? They put glitter in your office? How could they?

At least after this week it will all be over and they won't make any kind of deal about your birthday again for years.

Go get crawdaddies for lunch.

9:24 AM, May 27, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lordy, lordy, lordy,
Baby’s turning forty.
What’s the world a coming to?
She’s getting so much bolder,
Since she’s getting older,
Dropping all the old taboos.
Thinks she’s such a sweetie,
Helping all the needy,
Fellows on the avenue.

Lordy, lordy, lordy,
Baby’s getting naughty.
Doing things she shouldn’t do.
I thought I was her feller,
But she won’t let me sell her,
On settling down and being true .
Baby wants a good time,
That’s the reason that I’m
Walking ‘round and feeling blue.

Lordy, lordy, lordy,
Baby’s getting bawdy.
Starting to embarrass me.
Wearing sexy dresses,
Giving out caresses,
For all the world to plainly see.
She’s the star attraction,
Gets here satisfaction,
Having fun and being free.

Lordy, lordy lordy,
Baby’s turning forty.
What’s the world a coming to?

- Lamar Hunt

9:37 AM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Crawdaddies? I think you ought to be having meat-a-balls. But me, I like-a da fish.

9:38 AM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Maven said...

I'm always floored when I hear your voice. To me, it doesn't jive with the pictures of your face. Hope it's not an insult! Loved the accent--regardless of what you were shootin' for. Always a fan of the Swedish Chef *BORK BORK!*

This line from your audioblog was my fave:

"Now I look like my husband's face when he comes home from the titty bar."

Precious! Happy Fortieth!

9:58 AM, May 27, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Turning forty isn't so bad, it just means your more expierenced. susie has it right about being 40!

11:14 AM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Joseph said...

I usually call my friend on their birthdays and leave my lounge lizard rendition of Happy Birthday on their voicemail. I don't know what's worse them having to listen to it on the other end, or the peeps in the cubicles around me having to endure my recital.

(channeling vegas style lounge lizard)

HAAAPPY BIIIRRRRthdaay dear KAAAYYTIE...(deep breath) HAAAAAAPPPY BIIIIIRRRRRRRThdaaaaay toooooooooooooooo YOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

11:30 AM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Susie - Ja, turnin' Svedish. In the '80s, I thought I was turnin' Japaneses. But the black lingerie instead of crepe paper? Why not black crepe paper lingerie? With my ASSLESS CHAPS!

Squirl - yes, they glittered me up. I'm so fuckin' sparkly they wanna put me on a float at the Memorial Day parade. And, unfortunately, I'm gettin' a driver's license for lunch.

Dazed - I love it when you serenade me. Does this mean I have to wear sexy dresses now? I don't think that will be OK for my photo session this weekend...

Mr. B - gotta have the crawdaddies. Somebody ripped their tails off, just for me.

Nugget - now I'm totally curious! What do you think the voice to match the face would sound like? Not insulted, just intrigued now. And thanks, I just had to give Jim a shout out for the glitter. Another story I should probably just tell all on its own, I think.

Kitty - I take no responsibility for the word "byoobies" coming from my mouth - it was a special request. Gotta keep folks happy, you know. Byoobies. Byoobies. Byoobies.

Slick - you just think you're gonna get some from me now, don't you? Meet me out behind Receiving. You'll be givin', I'll be receivin'.

Greenie - another serenading Mo? I don't know if my little heart can take all the love, man! But keep it comin', you Lounge Lizard, you.

1:25 PM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Nothing like a nekkid tailed daddy crawling I always say!

1:42 PM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Candy said...

There are so many things I could say here, but I think Im going to have to go with,

Herge webe habe the wubleby Kaby on her wirthday ya, thabe Kaby is unebe crazbe laddie, ya. Webe nervous bout bhe butt free chapping ya. Hopin yer birfday is une appy day wubleby Kaby.

4:27 PM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Annejelynn said...

I love the swedish chef!

6:03 PM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger SWSNBN said...

From your phone? Is that how this Audio blog thing works? I could do that. YAY, that would be COOL!

6:27 PM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Is this "change your blog layout week" or something? Did I miss another memo?

10:40 PM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

This new look is waaay cool.

10:41 PM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Mr. B - somehow, you've dirtied my crawdaddies. And that's why I like you.

Jess - herge werge henge thank yew.

Annejelynn - A friend of a friend of mine is from Sweden and she cringes when my friend does the Swedish chef accent. So, of course, he makes sure to do it whenever he sees her. It'd be hard to resist.

She who...yeah, go to, it's free to set up and post. It's not a toll-free number, though.

Mr. B & Squirl - haha, you didn't take long to notice! It's part of my "change of life" I rectum, er, reckon. Glad y'all like. I was gettin' jillis of all the other pimped blogs 'round me, and ashamed I hadn't done anything sooner, seein' as how I have some idea how to wade through the code.

10:48 PM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Maven said...

[...] now I'm totally curious! What do you think the voice to match the face would sound like? [...]

To be honest?? Your voice has a masculine edge to it, a deeper, huskier edge. Like whiskey velvet--only it's not the kind of whiskey velvet that comes with years of smoking (not that I have any knowledge of whether you smoke or not). Now to be honest, I don't have a clue what to expect as far as what your voice SHOULD sound like; however, I have isolated which voice qualities I would not expect, and perhaps in listing them, I might be able to put a finer point on what I'd expect (did you follow that?).

All that being said, here is a list of voice qualities I would not expect out of your mouth (much in the way I cannot reconcile your voice to your picture (I hope you have a laugh at this list). I would not expect your voice to sound like:

1. A "Valley Girl"
2. A redneck
3. A low-rent ghetto skankette
4. Anyone in the cast of The Sopranos
5. A kewpie doll, squeaker
6. Barry White getting some stank on his hangdown
7. Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man
8. A Bombay Cab Driver
9. Jabba the Hut or Jarjar Binks
10. A wookie or a tribble.

Perhaps I was expecting something a little more sultry? You've got me squeezin' my grey matter around this!

10:55 PM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

LOL Nugget, I love the list of NOTs!

Were you here when the whole "sir" thing was discussed?
I wrote it at here.
then I audioblogged it in two parts:
Part One
Part Two.

So, you wouldn't be the first to use the word "masculine" in relation to my voice!

11:02 PM, May 27, 2005  
Blogger Maven said...

You so inspired me, I posted my very first audioblog tonight on my blog, bucky.

12:21 AM, May 28, 2005  
Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...

Here's a Swedish chef translator:

The funny(?) thing is that the Swedish chef actually sounds like a Dane... the mumbling, the drawn-out wovels...

Anyway, in proper chef accent:
"Heppy burthdey"

6:59 PM, May 28, 2005  
Blogger Jomama said...

Am I the only one that thought Bucky kinda drifted into a Jamaican accent for a minute there? Gave me a taste for Swedish-jerk meatballs.

6:01 AM, May 31, 2005  

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