the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco Cheat

I have learned a very valuable lesson this weekend: Don't fuck with a girl's Rice-a-Roni (the San Francisco Treat).

Right in front of you, the Internet as a Whole, I have been rightfully shamed. Not only have I been shamed, I've been accused of the most awful crimes against humanity, of gingham and lace, of hymns and spirituals, of charity and mercy, of altruism and piety. Would that I had just shut my mouth and let LadyBug come after me with a birthday paddle.

Yes, it's true, I did toy with the affections of Susie, and I did tease her with pasta which I never intended to produce ('cause there's actually no rice in Rice-a-Roni, is there?). The assless chaps picture? I wasn't kiddin' about that one. But I think lying about the SFT was a far more serious transgression, anyway. I feel bad for all the meals she had planned in advance, and for the fact that she must now re-think her strategy for feeding Jif and LG for the next year.

Susie has spelled out my punishment as follows:

"Here's the deal. Both SierraBella and I get pictures of you in the chaps.

BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE.

To compensate for the pain and suffering of moi and all the other good people who bore witness to this heinous scammage, you must post a picture on your site of you, all dolled up in an outfit, and a scenario, similar to the ones your commenters have described here.

NICE AND GIRLY.

Do we have a deal?"

Yes, Susie, we have a deal. The assless chaps pictures should be out to you by the end of the week, and the punishment pictures should be done 'round the same time. Though I'm not sure which one of us will be punished more by me in polyester.

But I am repentant. June Cleaver really made me think. I only hope that I can serve as an example to those who would toy with a person's expectations of pasta. It was cruel and heartless of me, really, everything you've come to expect from the Cotillion.

Again, I shoulda taken the spanking.

16 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Susie said...

That's a good girl. Glad to see you've come to your senses.

Like they say, this is going to hurt us more than it hurts you, but it is for your own good.

"I've looked at Bucky from
BOTH SIDES NOW
from chaps and dresses,
and still somehow . . . "

4:36 PM, May 22, 2005  
Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...

For shame! Fie! Fie!

And she turned me into a newt!

5:25 PM, May 22, 2005  
Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...

(I got better...)

5:26 PM, May 22, 2005  
Blogger spoonleg said...

I will spank the shit out of you, Caverna. Every day from now until the birfday.

That is all.

5:41 PM, May 22, 2005  
Blogger Kitty said...

OK - I have an unused wedding dress that needs to be molested... I think you should climb into that bitch... veil and all... and that shall be your ultimate punishment.

You got out of it last time Bucky... don't let me down now.

9:08 PM, May 22, 2005  
Blogger Jomama said...

Dagnabit! I should blog on the weekend cause I miss all the good stuff. I had intentions of coming here and posting a damning account of your altruistic acts, but I see you have seen the error of your ways and decided to give dear Susie what she is due, and a little bit more for her pain and suffering. Good for you, Bucky. Here are your birthday licks-- I mean spankings.

6:30 AM, May 23, 2005  
Anonymous lawbrat said...

Good for Susie for callin you out! Pretend to gift rice a roni, then take it back. Oye. Somehow, it works out better...pictures of you all nice and girly! I cant wait.

8:16 AM, May 23, 2005  
Blogger Candace said...

Rice-a-Roni does TOO have rice in it. AND vermicelli.

Sorry, feeling contrary today.

:-)

8:56 AM, May 23, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Good for you, Bucky, for seeing the error of your ways. (Or, caving under the torture. Whatever.)

Oh, and that spankin' offer still stands. ROWR.

(Feelin' a little naughty today. Sorry.)

(Not really sorry. Just tryin' to keep up that 'nice girl' image.)

10:06 AM, May 23, 2005  
Blogger Greenthumb said...

There's no San Francisco Treat???

That's like telling breeder kids that there's no Santa Clause...I didn't know you could be so careless.

10:26 AM, May 23, 2005  
Blogger SierraBella said...

Cheer up Bucky-
Who knows what June Cleaver was wearing under that shirtwaist dress and pearls!
Like maybe a pair of crotchless leather panties?
"Oh Ward, go easy on the Beaver!"

2:12 PM, May 23, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Susie - if you look at me from both sides now, you might find that there's more than the ass missin' from my chaps...

Ghost - BURN HER ANYWAY!

Spoonie - when you say you will spank the shit out of me, I believe you. One way or another, the shit will be outta me when you get done. You are, after all, a professional.

Kitty - I would gladly molest, soil, and cast shame upon your wedding gown. Oh, wait, you didn't ask for soilin', did you? Sorry, just still goin' with the Spoonie theme.

Rina - Why does no one offer to lick me when I'm behavin' myself? Bad girls do have more fun.

Lawbrat - my complete lack of shame allows me to sleep at night.

Misfit - See, I'm suspicious of a food that sounds like "worms."

LadyBug - I suspect I will be publicly humiliated and spanked before the month is over. I only hope it's not at the same time.

Greenie - What's this about Santa Claus? Do you mean - *gasp*
Noooooooooooooooooooo!

Sierrabella - I'll bet some nights Ward was particularly hard on the Beav. And where did she get that pearl necklace?

4:26 PM, May 23, 2005  
Blogger Torrie said...

We're WAITING....
(tapping foot)
(hands on hips)

7:54 PM, May 23, 2005  
Anonymous dazed and confuzed said...

I thought Test-Ost-aroni was the REAL San Francisco treat...I'm so out of the loop.

11:43 PM, May 23, 2005  
Blogger Kitty said...

OK - mission put Bucky in a wedding dress initiated.

I can see the ebay ad now...

"Wedding dress for sale. Only worn once. Rum cake stain on inner lining."

1:29 AM, May 24, 2005  
Blogger She who shall not be named said...

(I got better...)
LOL! Loved that, but who doesn't?

3:59 PM, May 25, 2005  

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