Notes from a dorky past

To be honest with y'all, I just plain couldn't think of anything to write about tonight. I didn't have any new pictures to post, either, yet I feel compelled to put something up. So I did something I've been meanin' to do for a while, namely, dig out some of my old notebooks and have a look (and, likely, a snicker).

While I still keep a notebook, and there's always an active one, I kept them with much greater zeal in my younger, less complicated years. The earliest one I found tonight is dated from 9/7/1984 to 2/15/1985. Some of the more amusing and/or semi-mortifying things I wrote here include:

• A synopsis of an episode of General Hospital, presumably for my mom on a day when she had to miss it. This was waaaaaay before SoapNet, folks. I don't even recognize some of the character names, but it has to be GH because "Frisco and Felicia give the goons the slip at the airport" and "Robert and Holly helped Porchenkos escape with Grant and Celia."
• The outline for a story called "Mrs. Greenblatt's Revenge" and then it says (revision) so you know I actually thought of this at some other time and then rewrote it in this notebook. The plot involves murder by forced chicken soup overdose, and features a cop named Officer O'Doodah. Um...okay.
• A short story called "Swindle Shift" that starts out with the captivating prose: "Bobo LaBooza was a simple man. You could say he had a perfect life, except for the fact that his wife and children drove him to the brink of insanity" Well, Bobo flips one day, takes all his money out of the bank, and engages the first prostitute he sees. Poor Bobo, she rolls him, cleans the fucker out, and even though his money was in traveler's checks, he's screwed because the prostitute's name is Bobo LaBooza too. Before long, his tombstone reads: "Somewhere, a cheap hooker is spending all my money." Yes, I do know just how charming I am, thanks.
• Of course, what notebook of mine would be complete without pages full of doodling and drawring? The following shots all come from one page of my idiocy, circa 1984:

As you can see, I have long been in need of some serious help. Unfortunately, I never sought help, and I am now the depraved individual who writes disgusting things for your amusement on a daily basis.

These old notebooks are a goldmine for laughin' at myself, so be prepared to be subjected to my thoughts that have had 20 years to rot.