the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Monday, August 01, 2005

Gumby came in my mailbox

This is for those of you who found the previous post a bit weighty.

Saturday, I retrieved my mail only to find a mysterious package from my friend Cherie. Now, Cherie and I used to work together at Meijer back in The Day, so I know she's gotta be a little brain damaged, too. Once I had decided the package was not stuffed full of anthrax, I opened it, and confirmed Cherie's brain damage:


Now, is it just me, or does Gumby have a vagina with pubes? I always thought Gumby was a boy.

I decided that if Gumby was gonna hang around here, he/she would need to be attired appropriately for this house.

Green cheeks + assless chaps = my kinda Gumby

33 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger LadyBug said...

Okay, I'm a bit confused...

Did you Photoshop the chaps?

10:14 PM, August 01, 2005  
Blogger greatwhitebear said...

God, I've missed this! Good to be back from vacation!

10:17 PM, August 01, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Yes, the chaps are a total Photoshop creation. I haven't had time to shop for the little feller yet...

Can't have a naked Gumby about the house...

10:17 PM, August 01, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Hey, Bear, you sneaked in while I was commenting. Good to see you again!

10:17 PM, August 01, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Holy hell, that's funny, Bucky.

Y' could always use your Photoshop skillz to turn Gumby back into a boy.

Just a thought....

12:00 AM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Candy said...

You disturb me alittle more every day.

I think I love you.

2:46 AM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Candy said...

Oh and does this mean you have green Gumby seamonkeys in your malebox? I should of known your malebox was a slut.

2:47 AM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

LadyBug - you think I should give Gumby the same giant dick treatment I gave Pokey?

Jess - I'm working with a world-renowned alchemist to convert green seamonkeys to gold.
So far, all we've gotten is gooey gold seamonkeys.
But, always happy to be disturbing, 'cause I know you like it that way, awwww yeah.

7:34 AM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger said...

Oh gaawwd, Now you need to douche your mailbox. A spring time meadwow scent would be pleasant for the mailman. Hope Gumby came with protection, Otherwise Mr Stork may be by in 9 mos with a package marked "Delivery Confirmation"

9:01 AM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Bucky, I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I would probably get blamed for the resulting image.

But, you know, if YOU want to give Gumby the Pokey treatment (Good grief, that sounded dirty), you go right ahead.

10:00 AM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Jeff's place - I not only douche the mailbox, I coat it with spermicide every day before the mailman, uh, delivers.

LadyBug - If I gave Gumby the Pokey treatment, he'd never go back to that orange horse again.

10:40 AM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Strizz said...

Maybe Gumby just has his penis tucked between his legs.

10:54 AM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

Wait. Did the mailman make Gumby come in your mailbox?

Because if he did, that's probably assault, and poor Gumby may need counseling.

11:01 AM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Strizz - I dunno, I'll have to get a little more intimate with Gumby tonight and find out.

DP - I wondered if it was just creases, or perhaps the start of a FUPA.

Eclectic - Oh, Gumby liked it. You can tell from the satisfied little smirk on his face.

11:22 AM, August 02, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey guys...Gumby's reproductive system IS a plastic injection molding machine...Guess Gumby doesn't need a penis between his legs...

Anonymous Alex...

11:38 AM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

LOL, glad you were able to supply him/her with chaps. And Gumby looks a bit more alluring now.

11:48 AM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger said...

Gumby is a man alright, just a small one. So small he is green with envy.

12:45 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

AA - still, a little green dick would be nice, just for show.

DP - FUPA = Fat Upper Pubic Area

Nanina - I think Gumby carries off the chaps with great ass-plomb, don't you?

Jeff's place - is that envy? I coulda sworn he had something that would require penicillin...

12:48 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger SierraBella said...

I think Gumby really did come in your mailbox.
Notice how shiny he/she is?

12:55 PM, August 02, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You just had to go there with Gumby. On a positive note: Everyone should have the pleasure of having bucky rub there belly after a nice big lunch....

1:20 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Sierrabella - hell, you oughtta see the inside of my mailbox!

Slick - oh, great. Now everyone will want me to rub their bellies.

1:25 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger said...

If he screams unbearably while he is taking a leak, Mail him to a urologist immediately. It could be the clap. If he does not have pain while urinating, but does suffer from fits and bouts of dementia he may have syphillis.If he does, its all over but the crying. Someone of gumbys celeb status could start an epidemic in no time. Make sure and wear a glove while handling him.

1:33 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Torrie said...

I'm interested to see what Susie thinks of all this.

1:48 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Danielle said...

omg your hysterical

3:31 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Jeff's place - um, you sound like you know a little too much about Gumby's possible maladies. Anything you want to, um, share with the class?

DP - I won't talk about bloating. Gumby got nothin' on me.

Torrie - I have to think Susie will recommend a local counselor for me, and will likely have Gumby removed from my custody. It'll all be for the best.

Danielle - thanks! You think I'm funny here? Y'oughta see me in a bikini!
(actually, NO ONE should see that)

4:00 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger said...

Everything I know I leared from Joselynn Elders. Our former Surgeon General. It was during one of her seminars a banana, a condom, A couple of coon dogs, a sheet of plastic and some mazola......or wait I guess I may have leared it watching the history channel and what finally did in Al Capone. The IRS and syphyllys. Damned Revenuers.

4:06 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

Here's what Susie thinks. That Gumby looks like a ho. He's slick. And disturbing. I see all is well here at the Cotillion. Carry on.

4:43 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Schmootzie said...

I'm guessing that Gumby is either doing the Silence of the Lambs dance or just has a ragin' camel toe.

Can you imagine what the dude in China thinks when he sees thousands of these going down the conveyor belt everyday?


5:53 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

I guess this post isn't as disbturbing as I thought. A trained psychological expert has given it her seal of approval.

Carry on Bucky.

5:55 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Opera Gal said...

so I did something nice for someone, and the Internet trolls came to stay - I need a posse.
Beuller? Beuller? Anyone?

7:43 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Jeff's place - Al Capone is truly a cautionary tale. If ya get the syph, get some shots right away!

Susie - Gumby thanks you for your support as he adopts his new leather lifestyle. I think he looks smashing!

Shmootz - he's doin' a Silence of the Camel Toe thing.

Squirl - that's right, I was told to carry on. And you know I can do that shit! You've seen me drunk waaaay too many times.

Mrtl - Gumby is blushing as I read your comment to him. Even his ass is a little less green for it.

Spoonie - I think Gumby's vagina likes you, too. See it smilin' atchya?

Opera gal - been there, hunted said troll. I hate anonymous dickwads.

8:29 PM, August 02, 2005  
Blogger Kranki said...

Sick, yet strangely funny.

9:19 PM, August 02, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That Gumby is soooo cute! Is it homemade?

7:51 PM, August 04, 2005  

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