the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Got some new junk in my trunk

I've started to work on some new merchandise designs for my Cafe Press store, and I added a new set of t-shirts today.

There will be more products to come in the near future, but Jim has nixed one of my ideas. For some reason, he thinks it would be in bad taste to offer a thong bearing my likeness as a child. Makes me wonder if some of my other ideas might hit a brick wall:

  • Coffee mugs featuring actual pictures of real vomit, with a possible motto of "Just like Mom used to make!"
  • A teddy bear with a little heart that says "Fuck you, grandma."
  • Boxer shorts with bloodstains on the front and a "Just castrated!" logo.
  • A mouse pad festooned with fallopian tubes.
  • A license plate frame that says "Paying homage to Ray Charles at the wheel"
  • A calendar with pictures of me on the toilet in festive settings for each month.

Maybe I shoulda taken some marketing classes in college...

31 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger LadyBug said...

"festooned with fallopian tubes" may be one of the funniest phrases I've ever heard. *snork*

11:23 PM, July 24, 2005  
Blogger song said...

I want a "fuck you, Grandma" teddy. Would be so perfect for my son to give my mum for christmas. We are such a happy family.

And I'm glad I'm not the only one squinting into the sun trying to take photos of my highlights. Your hair is hot, Bucky, hot.

1:54 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

LadyBug - guess we know what you'll be wearin' to your next formal affair, eh?

Song - Maybe I need to rethink my rejected product ideas.
And my hair thanks you!

7:49 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

I'm holding out for the Bucky Four-Eyes Kitchen Collection. Rolling pins, cheese graters, hand mixers (now with extra torque!") and of course, the assless apron.

Not available in stores. Not legal in some states. Not recommended for children. And definitely not for use in food preparation.

8:03 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Nilbo...funny you should mention the rolling pin...

Let's just say..."photo opportunity"

8:07 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger SunDenine said...

all of what Nilbo said in a pic
with a corsage and heels!

8:24 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

I am out of control, I havent been to bed and I am now calling people I dont know douchebags on other peoples sites.


I need to be stopped.

8:27 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

You remember how I felt about the yellow truck? Thats how I am right now.

Fucking douchebags.

And Im going to get one of your shirts, but in a really small size so my hoots stretch your eyes out all funky and you look bug eyed.

So there.

8:28 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger song said...

My kid just learnt how to write the first letter of his name, 'K'. I am so damn proud. he's only 3.

And now you gotta get Jess a shirt so she can have bug-eyed-bucky-hoots. hurray!

8:36 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

DP - check.

Jess - Why so yellow truckish this morning? Would a tiny little t-shirt help your mood? I'll work up my comedy routine for you later...

Song - Good for your boy! and K is such a good letter with which to start...not biased or anything, though...

8:48 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

BFE - go take a look at my work website - www.soundque.com -services- we can do a LOT better than CafePress. Yes, this is a shameless plug for my job, but hey...

i also agree with the teddy idea - for some reason, HDL's mom came to mind when i read that.

Jess- pet a kitty. i read somewhere once that having a cat lowers your blood pressure.

hey song - my real name starts with a "k" too...

9:33 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Opera gal - the real reason Cafe Press gets my biz is that they require zero in the way of money from me up front. All I have to do is make the designs, and voila!

That said, I'm not totally against the idea of lookin' elsewhere, either...

9:55 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Jeffs place said...

I want to preplace my calender order. Can I expect by Jan 06?

10:03 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Jeff's place - I think I could have 12 festive toilet poses for you by then.

10:06 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

BFE - i will send you email.

BTW, I went to grad school with an artist who used to do realistic anatomy paintings on chair seats and table tops - muscle groups, bones, etc.- they sold like hotcakes. Most popular? the tubes.

10:33 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Happy said...

Sounds like some winners to me. Especially the calendar.

11:21 AM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

I think you should have a calendar that features 12 of your different blog friends ... nude.

I volunteer for February ... the umm shortest month. Jess could be June ... because she's busting out all over. Or maybe December .. because she comes last ...

Pick a month, kids, any month ...

12:06 PM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger SierraBella said...

Hope you're working on a "Bucky Crocker" cookbook!
You'd be pictured on the cover wearing that assless apron Nilbo mentioned...

12:35 PM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

I was intrigued by the pictures of you on the toilet calendar. Sounds like I'm not the only one. Of course, being your older sister there are things I could say here. But I won't.

12:40 PM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

Oh Squirl, what self-restraint! What good are great stories if you don't share?? You know you wanna spill, so c'mon -- GIVE!! As for you Miz Bucky, I'll have two of the tube mice, please. You got a mouse pad to match?

12:49 PM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Jeffs place said...

You can price the calender at 19.95 just like the as seen on T.V. stuff. For your but wait theres more hook you could throw in the bonus scratch and sniff desk version.

12:54 PM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Opera gal - maybe I've tapped into some tube lovin' here, huh?

Mr. Happy - I can begin work on the calendar...right after lunch.

Nilbo - hon, if you wanna be naked, you don't have to hide behind my calendar project. And if you wanna see Jess naked, um, ask.
Don't think I'm not takin' your idea under consideration, though...any volunteers?

Sierrabella - You know, assless chaps are one thing. But an assless apron just might give Jim the impression that some assless cooking will take place, and that's just false hope for the poor boy.

Squirl - I think we've both paid each other enough money to let the blackmail go for now...

Eclectic - it's not fair. Squirl was around for my potty training, and I have no such stories about her, at least, not any I witnessed first hand.

Jeff's place - you just might have to do the beta testing on the scratch n sniff feature.

1:59 PM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Torrie said...

Bucky,I love you. Seriously. I want to marry you and have ten thousand of your babies.

Oh, and re calander- What month has the biggest ass? I'll be that month.

2:03 PM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Jeffs place said...

Might I suggest animal testing for the scratch and sniff desk calender......Perhaps a squirl?

2:06 PM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Torrie - as long as YOU do the child bearin', we have a deal. My biological time clock came unplugged about five years ago.
And you will have to take a smaller ass month than me. You've seen what hangs outta my chaps.

Jeff's place - if I could just get the Squirl to hold still!

2:12 PM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

Make it a "Fuck you, grandpa," and I'll buy them by the dozen!!!

I think that humor is always increased exponentially whenever the word "festooned" is affixed thereto.

2:42 PM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger song said...

I wanna be September. I always liked september.....

3:25 PM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

These are some damn fine product ideas, but for the love of all things holy, make sure the packaging does not suck. I hear there are a couple of jackasses from the bowels of Kentucky that ridicule suck ass packaging. That could be just a nasty rumor.

5:22 PM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Oh, my gawd, Bone Machine, I love your profile pic!

8:44 PM, July 25, 2005  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

Two dead guys...one is a king and one is a Dick.

10:24 AM, July 26, 2005  
Blogger dirtybirdy said...

Don't forget Blockhead works for an advertising agency.....

4:47 PM, August 04, 2005  

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