the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Sunday, July 17, 2005

It's all theoretical, of course

I'm going to lay out a completely hypothetical situation for you, because I'm interested to know what y'all would have done in a simlar totally fictional scenario.

Suppose that the alleged people staying in the next room, at an imaginary hotel, had several friends in their room for what appeared to be something between a shindig and a hootenanny. It might have even bordered on a jamboree, given that this quite loud and raucous gathering theoretically continued until at least 4 am this morning.

Now imagine that the person staying in the room next to the jamboree was not amused one bit after about 2 am. And suppose that this person might wake up at 9 am with a taste for extremely loud death metal and hip hop. Or that this person would perhaps innocently stroll past the jamboree room on the way to the vending machines, and somehow the jamboree's "Do Not Disturb" sign might inexplicably end up in this wandering, sleep-deprived person's wallet, causing the maid service to roust the jamboree-ers much earlier than they had hypothetically planned.

Would that be wrong? In theory?

15 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger SierraBella said...

I think this alleged and sleep deprived anonymous person deserves a standing ovation!
I was going to say standing 'o' but this anonymous person might get the wrong idea.

4:33 PM, July 17, 2005  
Blogger Torrie said...

I think it would have been justified if you stuck a steel toed boot up their ass.

5:34 PM, July 17, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

Personally I would of ordered the nasty pay per view porn the room offered and turned it up as loud as it goes and then started thumping the head board.

6:01 PM, July 17, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

I wish I could do something like that to my stooooopid neighbors. Good for you, Bucky!

6:09 PM, July 17, 2005  
Blogger Candace said...

Yes, that's totally fine for that hypothetical person. Just fine.

We had a similar experience once. We were just back in the states after living in Germany for 7 months. Our son was 2 and a half. The people in the room next to ours were just married that day, and they and their two best friends decided to get stinking drunk ALL FREAKING NIGHT LONG. Now, when I got married, my new husband and I did the nasty, by ourselves, all night long.

But that's just me. After repeated phone calls to the hotel management, I finally went over and had a heated discussion with the drunken idiots. They stopped about a half hour later.

I, too, removed their "Do Not Disturb" sign, AND we let The Boy watch Barney in the early morning hours REALLY LOUDLY. With the TV right next to the adjoining door.

6:34 PM, July 17, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

I have a friend...ahem...no relation to me....who, in a similar situation to your hypothetical once called the front desk and requested assistance. The inconsiderate hotel guests in the adjacent room were actually evicted for the night and though it took them another hour to pack up and leave, my...ahem...friend was not charged for the hotel stay. I'd say your way was more gratifying.

6:38 PM, July 17, 2005  
Anonymous dazed and confuzed said...

I think, in this totally hypothetical situation, not only were the actions of the alleged person justified, they were tame. Another person, with not as much consideration for the hootanany-ers, might have even ordered breakfast for them (or a pizza) to be brought to the room, just after flipping the "do not disturb" sign over so it read "Housekeeping - please clean this room immediately".

9:05 PM, July 17, 2005  
Blogger Amy said...

Nicely, done, Bucky. I mean allegedsleepdeprivedanony-
mous person.

A game of nikky nikky nine door would have been fun too.

11:35 PM, July 17, 2005  
Anonymous Susie said...

If such a sitchy-ation ever actually did arise, such a remedy would be most appropriate. Jamborees call for swift and decisive action on the part of hypothetical neighbors.

Now, misfit (and anyone else who would like to share), ALL NIGHT LONG? People say that all the time, but REALLY? ALL. NIGHT? Hours, yes. Multiple times, yes; not as often as back in the day, but yes. But ALL NIGHT LONG? This, I have never done. I can't even say I want to. The only thing I ever really want to do ALL night long is sleep.

And now, I rant: Blogger does not fucking recognize me. I have to put in my password or type my URL everydamnwhere, even to comment on my own fucking blog. I have also recently watched the entire first season of Deadwood, which I had never seen before, but I have grown very fond of those cocksuckers and find myself fucking talking like them.
That is all.

12:10 AM, July 18, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

Heh! Susie said "cocksuckers". Heh heh!

12:18 AM, July 18, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

Ohh ... Susie Guttermouth. I like it.

While I think the hypothetical revenge for an all-night hotel party is fine, as far as it goes, I have a suggestion for the next time it happens, based on years and years and hundreds of thousands of kilometres travelled and hundreds of hotel stays:

"Front Desk, can I help you?"

"Hi, I'm in Room 212. I am unable to sleep because there is some sort of party going on in Rom 210, which, from the sounds of it, may or may not include human or animal sacrifice, destruction of gardening equipment, and/or Yoko Ono being set on fire.

Since the volume of the party is such that I feel like I am actually in the room with them, I see no reason why, come the morning, I should be charged for Room 212. I expect my room to be complimentary, and whatever charges I incur to be assigned to Room 210. Ohh, pistachios ... yumm."

Hotels do not respond immediately to simple complaints about noise. But they are pretty damn quick when there is a suggestion that the room ought to be comped.

9:52 AM, July 18, 2005  
Blogger snaps79 said...

In this SUPPOSED situation, I think there would be NOTHING wrong with those actions. They're lucky you didn't call the fucking police. I mean, not YOU, but the fictional person in this hypothetical situation, of course.

10:21 AM, July 18, 2005  
Blogger Andrea said...

That. is. AWESOME! I would totally agree...this is the perfect response to this "hypothetical" situation.

Though I agree with Dazed and Confused, I would not take the DND sign, but flip it over so housekeeping would come sooner.

1:34 PM, July 18, 2005  
Blogger Kitty said...

My ex did this... went to the front desk and told them I was a cancer patient (I had just got a really super bad haircut... buzzcut... whatever)and I "wasn't going to make it". They ate out of our hands for the entirety of the trip. If someone in the next room smelled funny they would move us. Even when I got drunk and lost control of my bodily functions all over everything. Hey, it's for cancer, right?

Of course, I didn't know this at the time. So there I was getting all these sympathetic looks from people and free breakfasts and cocktails and stuff and come to find out they were all thinking I was going to die. I felt terrible after that but it was kind of nice getting all their attention for a week.

Ironic that a year later I was having a tumor taken out. Define irony.

Ya Bucky, yours was a way better idea now that I think of it.

5:01 PM, July 18, 2005  
Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...

Let me say this, from very recent experience: You have not truly HATED until you've been woken at 2AM by babbling old Italian women in the hotel corridor. Just saying.

4:48 PM, July 19, 2005  

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