Yes, there are some even I wouldn't use

In the last couple of months, I've come to enjoy the process of creating and posting new mastheads. A lot of the fun for a masthead, of course, is pickin' the new slogan. I've used a few now, but you've by no means seen everything that's occurred to me.

Allow me to share a select few of the slogans even I deemed too lame and/or offensive to use:

• "Still yearning for a Captain and Tennille tour."
• "Only a few animals were harmed in the crafting of this blog."
• "Just when you yeast expect it." (accompanied by a picture of baking soda and my favored cooch-scratching implement, an elegant silver crab fork)
  
• "All vomit, all the time."
• "The curley fries are on my thighs." (accompanied by a photo of my frightening, fried-food-enhanced thighs)
  
• "Don't let me drink unless you have a wheelbarrow and a barf bag."
• "If you don't like watchin' penguins get it on, you can't be my friend."
• "Send me money or I'll come to your house and trim your hedges into obscene shapes."
• "Why can't we all just get a schlong?"
• "Real fuckin' funny, motherfucker."

I'm only showing you the least disturbing of the unused ideas. You should probably worry about the way I think.