the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Channeling Jim Morrison

I will likely post again later today. I just thought I'd throw this out here because I missed my Friday post, due to fucked-up circumstances beyond my control.

When I was a lot younger (a lot), my dreams were always vivid, sharp, and for the most part memorable when I awoke. I could go into great detail about the wanderings of my subconscious mind, and tell stories from my sleep all day.

That has not been the case for quite some time now. I'm not sure exactly when that changed; I suspect it was when I was in college, and working two jobs, and rarely havin' a day off. It seems like my dreams...well, they didn't really die, but they just didn't make the same kind of impression they did before, so that my waking mind could recall the details. I've been lucky for years if I can remember a couple of minutes of a dream.

Lately I have been privy to my dreams again. It doesn't happen every night, but it has happened often enough lately to make me think maybe my brain is changing, yet again. I've always heard that your tastebuds completely change every seven years; is the same true for the brain?

Last week, for example, I had a fairly lengthy, involved, and vivid dream where a friend's completely unapproachable cat suddenly wanted my attention and wanted to be petted. It was more detailed and realistic than any dream I've had in years. I'm sure it speaks to my desire not to be allergic to cats, as they have always been my favorite animal.

As for the dreams from which I just awoke, I'm not at all sure what they mean, but they're still fresh with me, and I can't go back to sleep, so I'll just tell you guys and you can laugh behind my back. Or in my comments, however you'd have it.

In the first dream, I was checkin' out a basement (I don't think it's a real basement I've ever seen, or maybe a combination of basements) with my brother, Tardist. You know, my brother who never updates his blog. For some reason, I started to absentmindedly sing the theme to The Greatest American Hero ("Believe it or not, I'm walkin' on air..."). And Tardist joined in, alternating song lines with me. We sang the entire chorus before the dream ended. I'm not even sure Tardist actually knows the song; maybe I'll call him up right now and see if he can sing along. Or...maybe not, if I don't want an ass beatin'.

Now, there would be no argument from me if you decided that this was a fairly disturbing dream on general priciple. But the dream I had that woke me up was decidedly darker than just a sibling sing-a-long. Nothing could be worse than a sibling sing-a-long, you say? Don't argue with me, cocksucker, this is my story. Get your own blog, fucker.

In my last dream, I felt myself get a lungful of water and my eyes snapped open (in the dream). I was in the bathtub at the house where I grew up (the haunted house), but I was completely under the water, all of my body and my head, lookin' up at the ceiling. I could feel myself take on water but I couldn't move, not my head, not my arms, not my legs. I started to have a true physical panic inside, desperately tryin' to move or splash or alert Jim that I was drowning in the bathtub like some junkie rock singer who's too stupid to hire a babysitter when he shoots up. I remember thinking, "I have to make a huge effort NOW or I'll be dead." With that, I snapped awake, breathin' hard like I just dreamed about trappin' Taye Diggs in a hotel room for a weekend. It took me at least ten minutes and two cans of Diet Rite to shake off the panicked feeling.

Now I find myself wide awake, with little interest in returning to bed. If I had a dream like that every morning, I'd never miss the alarm.

14 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...

First! Hah, time zones have their advantages...

Some random, clever quotes:

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
- William Dement

I don't use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough.
- Mauritis Escher

They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
- Edgar Allan Poe

7:56 AM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

I was just talking to LaurenBove about this stuff. I use dream interpretation a fair amount, always for myself, sometimes for my clients. Truly, what it "means" is what it means to you, there are some really good books on that personal kind of dream interpretation, by Anne Faraday, one is "The Dream Game." Those books that say a snake is a penis or whatever, are crap; each person's unconscious is unique.

However, having said that, the first dream sounds wonderful to me. Not really a basement, but a deep place, where you and someone you love are singing (something you love to do) the same song, and the words to that song are awesome. I mean, I think it was fairly lame as a song, but who wouldn't want to be "walking on air, I never thought I could feel so free." I think that was your unconscious reassuring you after the stress you've been under. And probably has to do with stuff too personal for us to know about, too. You and Tardist, or you and freedom. And Tardist is not always Tardist, in a dream. Could be another male cohort, or even the masculine part of yourself.

The other one appears to be just a gathering together of the last couple days' waking experience. You have been drowning, pretty much alone in it, unable to catch your breath, from stress, demands, and oppressive heat, and with few options for calling out to someone to save you. It's over now. Breathe.

8:23 AM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

Wow, Susie, I really like your interpretations. I always have very vivid dreams. Mine quite often involve crystals and animals/birds. But I hate the kind where you're stuck in a horrible situation and nobody seems to understand or be able to help.

Here Bucky, let me give you a hand up out of that tub. Breathe! Remember it's walking on air, not water.

10:41 AM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Kranki said...

I too am dreaming like a savage these days. Maybe it is the heat. That drowning one sounds so scary. But not as spooky as the song bit.

1:35 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Ghost - I definitely dream more by day than I do by night!

Susie - Your analysis makes a whole lotta sense, especially the drowning in stress and heat. Just confirms my belief that I really don't ever wanna be a department director!

Tardist - I'm super bummed we couldn't come over, either. And when I had the singing dream, I just had to keep tellin' myself, "It's only a's only a dream..."

Squirl - thanks for the hand outta the tub. Would this be the wrong time to confess that Tene (our cat) didn't really fall into the shower with you some 30 years ago, but was pushed by, um, me?

Kranki - maybe the heat does have something to do with it. And I have to agree - what could prompt '80s TV theme songs in my dreams? What kind of god would allow it?

5:05 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Candy said...

Awww, baby Nala really does love you, if you have cheese, or take a nap so she can stare at you when your asleep. Its the moving, awake, non chesse carrying people she is scared of.

And you havent watched the movie What lies beneath lately have you? If not, dont. Trust me.

5:05 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger greatwhitebear said...

wtf? We all knew you were disturbed! Anyone who would put assless chaps on Gumby!

At least Jim wasn't holding you under in your dream!

5:59 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Jess - I know, deep down, that Nala really wants to be my friend and sit in my lap. My subconscious was just reassuring me with that one. 12 cats, and she was the only one who wouldn't let me pet her, I guess that's not too bad a percentage.
And I don't recall seein' Harrison Ford in my dream.

Bear - And yet you keep comin' back...
You know you enjoy the fact that there's at least one person in the world more twisted than you are.

7:52 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Ern said...

You eschew Diet Coke in favor of Diet Rite? That's messed up, woman. More messed up than your dream, in my opinion!

10:37 PM, August 06, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Ern...oh, how I loooong for Diet Coke. I loved that shit. But I at some point realized aspartame was a contributing factor in my evil migraines. So now when I drink pop, it's either regular or one with sucralose.

Eschew? Bless you.

8:05 AM, August 07, 2005  
Blogger Amy said...

Diet Coke and migraines.... I must explore this. As I have both DC issues and get wicked headaches. Hmmm.

Oh sorry! This is YOUR blog, not my little life. Wow, funky dreams. I adore 'Believe it or Not' so that part I thought was like, a great testament to the solidity of the relationship betwixt you and Tardist. (Talking out of my arse here, but with a sincere heart).
The drowning one! Too scary. Susie sounds on the money, though. It's over. Breeeeeaaathhhhee.

8:02 AM, August 08, 2005  
Blogger Unknown said...

I had adream once that i was baout to be raped and did the same thing - got up, turned on all the lights and sat on the couch staring into space for about 6 hours until the sun came up.

Have you seen Saw? Coz that was so just the first scene you described

8:56 AM, August 08, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Amy - feel free to spill as much of your own life here as you care. As long as it's nowhere I can slip and fall in it (because we all know I fall down rather easily and sometimes without provocationi).
Tardist and I have actually recorded an alarming number of songs/skits together over the last, I dunno, 25 years? Maybe I'll get an audioblog account sometime so you guys can hear the absurdity of some of it. We are truly a brain-damaged family.

Song - your dream makes me shudder, too. It was so real, as I'm sure yours was, that there's just no possible way to return to sleep after. Not right away.
I had one just as vivid and disturbing when I was in high school, where I was on the shore at the beach, and I was so drunk I couldn't get up to save myself as the tide washed over me. Only then, I think the message my subconscious was screaming was pretty easy: "You're a teenager! Stop drinkin' like a sailor on shore leave!"
And no, I haven't seen Saw. I think perhaps I shall skip it!

9:54 AM, August 08, 2005  
Blogger Annejelynn said...

I've had dreams, so vivid, I woke not realizing it was only a later in the day say something about whatever I had dreamt about, as if it had happened...

12:55 PM, August 08, 2005  

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