the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

There are two kinds of people in the world

For my latest masthead, I decided to pay homage to my favorite movie in the whole world, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, my favorite character,Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez as portrayed by Eli Wallach, and my favorite Tuco line from the movie: "When you have to shoot? Shoot, don't talk."

For those who see this in the arrrrchives long after the masthead has changed with the seasons, here's what's up right now:

bfemast_tuco copy
When that rope starts to pull tight, you can feel the devil bite your ass.

I can scarily quote more lines from this movie than I care to admit, except to You, the Internet as a Whole. I trust you with my secret Tuco fixation.

How many times have I sat through this nearly three-hour movie? Couldn't even say for sure. If I'm channel surfing, and it's on, I'll stop there, no matter how far into the story it is. I do this even though I own a DVD copy. The classic lines are so thick in this flick.

"One bastard goes in, another comes out."

"
Don't die until later."

"There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend: Those with a rope around the neck, and the people who have the job of doing the cutting. "

"You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: Those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig."

And as I've come to find out, there really are two kinds of people in the world: Those who read my blog, and those who are dirty bastards with crotch rot.

This whole post has been pretty pointless, so let me close out with a question: What are your favorite lines from Clint Eastwood westerns? Or from any movies, if that trips your hair trigger. Tell me about the lines from movies that you automatically say, day in and day out.

Let me know I'm not alone in my freakocity.

322 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Help help, Im being repressed"

11:26 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Im 40, im a chick in a rock and roll band, and its fucking cool"

11:28 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Well fuck you very much"

11:28 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Gee, I don't think I have any money to pay for this pizza, maybe we can work something out?"

11:29 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"The Jesus will fuck you man, he will fuck you!"

11:31 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"That rug pulled the whole room together man"

11:31 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Well you two are just dumber then a bag of hammers"

11:33 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"I see'nt 'em first"

11:34 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"No thanks Delmar, a third of a gopher would only rouse my hunger without bedding her back down"

11:34 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"I am the devil, and I have been put here to do the devil's work"

11:36 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Get that bitch Leatherface, get that bitch, Dog will hunt"

11:36 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Groovy"

11:37 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck"

11:39 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"I said, how would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison"

11:39 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Thats how I roll"

11:41 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Im in a glass case of emotion, wait wait, just let me say one more thing, AHHHRRGGGGHAAARRRRRHHHHHHHHH"

11:41 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Go fuck yourself San Deigo"

11:41 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"It smells like bigfoots dick"

11:42 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"You sit on a throne of lies, you smell like beef and cheese"

11:43 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Fuck me Santa, Fuck me Santa, fuckmesantafuckmesantafuckmesanta YES YES YES"

11:44 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Only 364 days til next halloween"

11:45 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Jack I can't do this by myself, I'm only an elected official"

11:45 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"In fact kids, everything in here is eat-able. Even I am eat-able but that would be called canibalism and is frowned on by most cultures"

11:45 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Don't touch that squirells nuts! He'll go crazy!"

11:49 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Cuse me, can I go to the bathroom? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh thank you"

11:50 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Hey baby is this guy boring you? I'm from another planet, wanna see my spaceship?"

11:55 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Come on baby, it's me, I just wanna eat your brains a little bit"

11:56 PM, September 20, 2005  
Blogger Tardist said...

Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
Geez, Jess. Impressive set of, uh, quotes there.

12:34 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"No, you don't get to tell ME what to do anymore"

2:34 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"This is my BOOMSTICK"

2:34 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Come on girls, lets get that bad monkey"

2:35 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Oh George, not the livestock"

2:35 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"I'm gonna kill you rhino, I'm going on safari motherfucker, SAFARI ffffffffffffffffttttttttttttttt"

2:36 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"It's a COCK, it's a great big COCK"

2:36 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"You shot the invisible swordsman!"

2:38 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Heffe, would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?"

2:38 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"He hates these cans! Everyone, get away from the oil cans!"

2:39 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Soon I should have more money to send home as my girlfriend says she is going to get me a blow job"

2:39 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"They're here"

2:41 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Nobody steps on a church in my town!"

2:41 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Somebody saw a cockroach up on 12" "Must be a big cochroach" "Bite your head off man"

2:42 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"I do not drink....wine"

2:43 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Oh god Jack, what the hell is that?" OOOOWWWWWWWUUUUUU OOOWWWUUUUUUU OOOWWUUUUUUU

2:43 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"But have you ever seen it, ON WEED?"

2:44 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Hey man, I sucked dick for coke, thats an addiction man"

2:45 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"This is Bob, Bob has bitch tits"

2:46 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"I guess I just felt like destroying something beautiful"

2:46 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"And to think this whole time, your just a little boy playing dress up crying for Mommy and Daddy, I'd laugh if it wasn't so pathetic, ahh what the hey, I'll laugh anyways HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA"

2:47 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"This town needs an enema"

2:47 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

"Did you ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light? I always ask that of all my prey, I just like the sound of it"

2:48 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

SOME one stole my idea. Huh!

But I don't think I saw the first line to Men in Black, so here goes:

"Goddamn bugs."

6:46 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"When you hang a man, you better look at him!"

8:13 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"Hey, I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kick ass!"

8:14 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"Oh my god. It's Josey Wales!"

8:15 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"Deserve's got nothin' to do with it."

8:15 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty."

8:19 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. Nobody!"

8:19 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?"

8:24 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

"We were men. We wrestled."

8:55 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

"I fart in your general direction."

8:56 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

"..that certain, special, sumething.."

8:56 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

"Now don't that just take a load off."

8:57 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

"I live the life of the mind."

8:57 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

"Got better."

8:58 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

I'm pretty sure this post wins for most comments here, ever.

8:58 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

The only time mine was better was when I went away for a week. :-)

And I'm sure I'd have more quotes if I could just think.

Does this also qualify for most comments and fewest commenters?

9:03 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

I think you may be right, Squirl. A few of us who have seen too many movies.

9:05 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"I musta drank me about twelve docta peppas."

9:27 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"I gotta go peeeee"

9:27 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"In the buttocks, sir"

9:27 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"Me and Jenny was like peas and carrots"

9:28 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

"You keep using thet word. I do not theenk it means what you theenk it means."

9:28 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"My name is H.I. McDonnough. My friends call me HI."

9:29 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"There's right and there's right and never the t'wain shall meet"

9:30 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Parole Board chairman: They've got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called "recidivism."
Parole Board member: Repeat offender!
Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?
H.I.: No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.
Parole Board chairman: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?
H.I.: No, sir, no way.
Parole Board member: 'Cause we just want to hear the truth.
H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.
Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?
H.I.: Yes, sir.
Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.

9:31 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash ya got."

9:32 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"You got a table and chairs, you gotta dinette set. You gotta table and no chairs, you got dick."

9:33 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"Now, what's it gonna be young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? 'Cause if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm gonna be in motion."

9:34 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"Son, you got a panty on your head."

9:34 AM, September 21, 2005  
Anonymous dazed & confuzed said...

"He was the apple of our three eyes, Martha being a cyclops."

"I swear, George, if you existed, I'd divorce you."

"You like that? Huh? You like that?" (oh wait...do porn movies count?

9:35 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"You shouldn't grab me, Johnny. My mother grabbed me once... ONCE!"

9:36 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"Why you miserable cork-sucker!"

9:36 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

"NEVER tell me the odds!"

9:37 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"You fargin' icehole."

9:37 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"This is fargin war!"

9:37 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

"Her womb was barren ground upon which mah seed could find no purchase."

9:38 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Tommy Kelly: Mom, it's prohibition!
Ma Kelly: Oh, shut up! Stop acting like some fag choir boy!

9:38 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy corksuckers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes...like yourselves."

9:39 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

Yay--I'm not a dirty bastard with crotch rot; I read your blog....

"Don't mess with the babysitter!"

9:41 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Holy hell, this is fun, Bucky!

(Well yeah, it's fun. But I also wanted to participate to make damn sure no one thought I was a "dirty bastard with crotch rot.")

9:41 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"I shoulda listened to my mom. She said I should be a plastic surgeon. I could be up to my ears in tits and ass right now"

9:42 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"You might want to take notes cause right here is a real live death scene going on"

9:42 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"Drinking? We're getting shot at and all you can think of is drinking? here--gimme that."

9:45 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto"

9:46 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"As you wish"

9:46 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"to the pain"

9:47 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"YOu may wanna try on those new shoes, right about now!"

9:49 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"that was the end of the man who killed my fatha, raped and murdered my motha, burned my house, and stold my Bible"

"If there's one law of the west, it's that outlaws have brothers"

9:52 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

"No, Otto. Apes CAN read philosophy. They just don't understand it. Let me tell you something: Aristotle was not Belgian, the central message of Zen Buddhism is not 'every man for himself', and the London Underground is not a political movement. These are all mistakes. I should know, Otto. I looked them up."

9:52 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"You're a hopeless romantic"
"Not hopeless--hopeful, hopeful..."

9:53 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"And tomorrow is another day"

9:53 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"He slimed me"

9:57 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"not the car, not the car!!"

9:58 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"You're the best time I ever had"
"I've never been anyone's best time before"

10:02 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"I've found him--will you be a lucky bride!
He's handsome, he's tall--that is from side to side, but he's a nice man, a good match, right? Right! I've heard he has a temper, he'll beat you every night, but only when he's sober, so you're alright!"

10:10 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"Look at them snappers, Ralphy.."

10:11 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

"Fraaanch Fries...Fraanch Bread...Fraanch Dressing...and Peru!"

10:48 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

"It has raisins in it...you like raisins."

10:49 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:49 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

"I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible."

10:52 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

"They had the days of the week on them, and I thought they were sort of funny. And then one day Sheldon says to me, 'You never wear Sunday.' It was all suspicious. Where was Sunday? Where had I left Sunday? And I told him, and he didn't believe me."

10:53 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

"Thin. Pretty. Big tits. Your basic nightmare."

I'm trying to compete with "the rabbit." I may not make it!

10:54 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

"So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?...No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too."

10:55 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

"You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance."

10:55 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

"I'll have what she's having."

10:56 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

"You raise cattle. Children just happen."

10:57 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

"Oh please, if everyone around here is going to start telling the truth, I'm going to bed."

10:58 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

"Go that way, really fast; if something gets in your way . . . turn."

11:00 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

"This is pure snow! It's everywhere! Have you any idea of what the street value of this mountain is?"

11:01 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Wife of Arjay said...

"I'm real sorry your mom blew up, Ricky."

11:01 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Oh! One more. One of my favorite children's movie quotes. And I'm guessing noone else will recognize it...

"Jimmy! You scared the bejeebers out of me!"
"Sorry 'bout your bejeebers, there, Mom."

11:35 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"Rosebud"

11:44 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"It's Peter-floppin'-flyin' Pa-an!"

11:44 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"No disassemble!"

11:52 AM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"Nos locos kick your butt, nos locos kick your face, nos locos kick your balls into outer space!"

12:04 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"If you're lookin for a chunk of fat and juicy meat, come on look at Pumba he's the guy you'd like to eat-- are you achin' for some bacon, he's a big pig, you can be a big pig too--oy!"

12:24 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Romani Heart said...

I'm just eternally thankful that by reading your blog I've saved myself from a nasty case of crotch rot.

12:29 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"You're lewd, crude and socially unacceptable."

12:33 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Sometimes being a high riding bitch is all a woman's got left to cling to."

12:33 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Sometimes an accident can be a woman's best friend."

12:33 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"No, fucking me is not like fucking a mud puddle. You can stick it in SOFT in a mud puddle."

12:34 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"What we have here is a failure to communicate."

12:34 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"The way I see it you've got two choices; either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'."

12:35 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Face it girls, I'm OLDER and I've got more insurance."

12:35 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go ice down my balls and spit up blood."

12:36 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"What separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom is our ability to accessorize."

12:37 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Smile, it increases your face value."

12:37 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"You have been found guilty of extreme assholeness. Your punishment will now begin."

12:39 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"I've got a turd on deck that'll choke a donkey."

12:39 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Everyone loves the smell of their own brew."

12:40 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"... They're peopppppppppppppppleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!"

12:43 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose."

12:45 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"I wouldn't shit you, you're my favorite turd."

12:49 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke pieca' shit Private Pyle, or did you have to work on it?"

12:50 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

"MmmmHmm, I'll have me some o' them french fried pertaters."

12:52 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

"I lahk the way you talk, too."

12:52 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"I can't talk right now, I'm having a friend for dinner."

12:52 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

"She puffed up, then the puff disappeared."

12:52 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Go, go gadget-cock, go!"

12:53 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Boy, you sure got a purty mouth."

12:54 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Squeal like a pig!"

12:54 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nilbo said...

Jesus ... only thing that would have gotten more comments than this was an unretouched assless chaps photo.

12:55 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

"I am only IN the History department. I am not THE History department."

12:56 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"What is your malfunction, you fat barrel of monkey spunk?"

12:58 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"I gots to make water."

12:59 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

"Your wife is slim-hipped. My wife is Martha."

1:01 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"Them syreens did this to Pete. They loved him up and turned him into a horny toad."

1:02 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"I'm surprised at you, Pete, I gave you credit for more brains than Delmar."

1:04 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"Damn! We're in a tight spot!"

1:04 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"I don't want Fop, goddamn it! I'm a Dapper Dan man!"

1:05 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"Mrs. Hogwallop up and R-U-N-N-O-F-T."

1:07 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"I was not hit by a train. Damnit, I am the paterfamilias!"

1:07 PM, September 21, 2005  
Anonymous ichabod said...

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

1:09 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

"Well, I'll be a son of a bitch. Delmar's been saved!"

1:10 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger mrtl said...

OMG - 164 comments?

Jessica's been busy. ;)

1:25 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger MilkMaid said...

"We don't rent pigs."

1:41 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

God, I love you people.

2:01 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

"They call this war a cloud over the land. But they made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say 'Shit, it's raining!'"

2:06 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

"Oh, he's so full of manure, that man! We could lay him in the dirt and grow another one just like him."

2:07 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

"If you could see my inside, or whatever you want to name it; my spirit, that's what I fear. I think I'm ruined. They kept trying to put me in the ground but I wasn't ready. But if I had... if I had goodness, I lost it. If I had anything tender in me, I shot it dead! How could I write to you after what I'd done? What I'd seen?"

2:08 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

"Number one - shut this door, it's freezing. Number two - shut that door, it's freezing. I'm laying on my back, with my fingers poked in my ears trying to shut out who's got a bag of diamonds and who's carrying a tray. If you want to get three feet up a bull's ass, listen to what sweethearts whisper to each other. Now, if you're going to wimble wimble all night, I'm going to sleep in with him."

2:08 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

"See, I think there's a plan. There's a design for each and every one of us. You look at nature. Bird flies somewhere, picks up a seed, shits the seed out, plant grows. Bird's got a job, shit's got a job, seed's got a job. And you've got a job."

2:09 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

"Just so you know - you're not eating inside. Number one: they hang people round here for taking in deserters. Number two: even if they gave out prizes you'd still eat outside."

2:09 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

"Smee, Smee, what about Smee? What about Smee--wait Smee's me!!"

2:11 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

Old Lodge Skins: Let's go back to the teepee and eat, my son. My new snake wife cooks dog very well.

Jack Crabb: All right,Grandfather.

Old Lodge Skins: She also has a very soft skin. The only trouble with snake women is they copulate with horses, which makes them strange to me. She say's she doesn't. That's why I call her "Doesn't Like Horses". But, of course, she's lying.

2:25 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Best. Comments. Ever.

2:26 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"I'm a Mog; part-man, part-dog. I'm my own best friend."

2:26 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

Jack Crabb: Grandfather, I have a white wife.

Old Lodge Skins: You do? That's interesting. Does she cook and does she work hard.

Jack Crabb: Yes, Grandfather.

Old Lodge Skins: That surprises me. Does she show pleasant enthusiasm when you mount her?

Jack Crabb: Well sure, Grandfather.

Old Lodge Skins: That surprises me even more. I tried one of them once, but she didn't show any enthusiasm at all.

2:27 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Where do you have your hands?--Between two pillows.--Those aren't pillows!!!!"

2:27 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

Old Lodge Skins: Don't worry my son, you will be back with us, I dreamed it last night. I saw you with your wives

Jack Crabb: Wives, Grandfather?

Old Lodge Skins: Yes, there were three... or four, it was hard to tell. It was very dark in your teepee and they were under buffalo rugs as you crawled among them. Anyway, it was a great copulation.

2:27 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"OOh you have such a big HELMET!"

2:29 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"A stand-up philosopher? Oh, you'rea bullshit artist!"

2:30 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Hey the kind looks like the piss-boy."

2:30 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Every sperm is sacred."

2:30 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

[Grandfather, who has laid himself down to die, wakes up]
Grandfather: Am I still in this world?

Jack Crabb: Yes, Grandfather.

Grandfather: [groans] I was afraid of that. Well, sometimes the magic works, sometimes it does not.

2:31 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"Misfire! Kill the son of a bitch."

2:35 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"I guess you think I'm kicking you, Bob. But it ain't so."

2:38 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"You can't hit the man until he's your husband, and he can hit you back."

2:40 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"Now Ned, them whores are going to tell different lies than you. And when their lies ain't the same as your lies... Well, I ain't gonna hurt no woman. But I'm gonna hurt you. And not gentle like before... but bad. "

2:41 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"For me, stealing's always been a lot like sex. Two people who want the same thing: they get in a room, they talk about it. They start to plan. It's kind of like flirting. It's kind of like... foreplay, 'cause the more they talk about it, the wetter they get. The only difference is, I can fuck someone I've just met. But to steal? I need to know someone like I know myself."

2:43 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"The last time I had a pap smear, the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker."

2:45 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Is it the frank or the beans? -- I don't know, both I guess. Frank and Beans! Frank and Beans!!!"

2:46 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"It's fuckin' dark in here!"

2:47 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"What is that? Hair gel?"

2:47 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"See, Violet, that's what I love about you. You're so fuckin' sensitive."

2:47 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"And of course, with the birth of the artist came the inevitable afterbirth - the critic."

2:51 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation - but I hear that that's coming quickly."

2:51 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

"Boo-boo Kitty Fuck"

2:52 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger It's Me, Maven... said...

"Knight jumps queen! Bishop jumps queen! Pawns jump queen! Gangbang!!!"

2:55 PM, September 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

"You're dangerously cute, Peanut."

2:58 PM, September 21, 2005  

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