the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Saturday, December 03, 2005

No "in bed" required

I can't believe I've never blogged about this before, but a search wouldn't come up with the key phrases on my site. So, if I've finally gone completely soft in the head and have posted about this before, well...blame it on Google search. But Closet Metro's post the other day made me think of this particular incident.

Several jobs ago, I had the pleasure to supervise a young man who was from China. YC was probably 19 years old, and though his accent was thick as a brick, his command of the English language was better than many native speakers, aside from the occasional phrase like "Oh, sure, make me the escape goat!" that managed to get past the goalie.

YC was working his way through college, on a computer science major, I think, and he was brilliant. He also had a sparkle in his eye and a sense of mischief and good-hearted evil that many people overlooked. I saw it, and did what I could to encourage it, within the bounds of good taste at work. The job he had with me didn't pay nearly enough to take care of his needs, so he also worked the drive-through at McDonald's part time. One day he came into work with the best story ever told 'round the file room (yes, even better than the time EM told us her three-year-old daughter referred to her own genitals as "Francine" and then pronounced in her baby voice, "Francine smells like tuna!" Okay, I did collapse, helpless in convulsions of laughter about that one too, but on with the show).

YC had been at his drive-through station with the headset and cash register, takin' orders and handlin' cash, when a girl drove up and began insulting and mocking his accent through the speaker. When the little cunt finally pulled up to his window, she smirked and said, "Where's my fortune cookie?"

YC looked down at her and said, "Here your fortune: Suck my dick."

I don't honestly remember the rest of the story, as my eyes were full of tears and my ears were full of my own snorts of merriment. I wonder if he continued to work at McDonald's after that. All I know is, he probably makes more money now than the bitch who wanted the fortune cookie.

Where's my "Sweet Revenge" rubber stamp?

19 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Ghost of Goldwater said...


Also, great comeback!

8:48 PM, December 03, 2005  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

YC sounds like a sharp kid. I am sure he has gone, uh, far.

9:44 PM, December 03, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

*heh heh* YC's quick witted! Good for him. I can't help wondering why people need to alienate and discard others for simply being "other" than themselves. Stuff like this makes me sad, and pissy.

Except for the laughing at YC's excellent response...GENIUS! *heh*

10:22 PM, December 03, 2005  
Blogger Nina said...

Oh my I am rolling on the floor, because of the three year old and YC.
I so dislike people like that . . .

10:30 PM, December 03, 2005  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

:::cough, snort, wheeze:::
Thanks for the laugh. I needed that. ;oD

11:21 PM, December 03, 2005  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

I've had my fill of people today...thank God for puppies.

11:22 PM, December 03, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

I guess adding the "in bed" wouldn't really have added much at all in this case, huh?

11:41 PM, December 03, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

Oh. I just now saw your title. Great minds think alike. One of them is just a little slower than the other :0

11:42 PM, December 03, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

So like, did she take him up on it? Did they go and make a new definition for "Playland"? Did he dip his Nuggets in her Sweet N Sour? Did she taste test his Big Mac? Did he give her cause to have a big Grimace? Did she Burgle his Ham?

12:01 AM, December 04, 2005  
Blogger Zombie_Flyboy said...

Good for YC!

I bet he makes enough money to have his dick serviced any damn time he wants now.

4:53 AM, December 04, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...


7:32 AM, December 04, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

One of the first times I understand the connection between the post and the spam. Apparently "suck my dick" is somewhere filed under the heading "wedding favors."

8:00 AM, December 04, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

I remember hearing about the escape goat. I don't remember the fortune or Francine, though.

I hope he loved the reaction he got from her after saying that.

8:27 AM, December 04, 2005  
Blogger SierraBella said...

I totally love stories with happy endings!

4:35 PM, December 04, 2005  
Blogger JD's Rose said...

That is the best story. People cab be such assholes!

7:55 PM, December 04, 2005  
Blogger hemlock said...

That's fantastic!!!

I'd love to hear that come from someone in a drive through. More specifically, from YC himself!!

9:26 AM, December 05, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Wait. You stamp "sweet revenge" on your rubbers?

P.S. The fact that I spent five minutes thinking Escape goat? What's wrong with that? is, really, the essence of Monday Morning Before My Coffee Kicks In.

9:55 AM, December 05, 2005  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...


9:47 PM, December 06, 2005  
Blogger Closet Metro said...

That is beautiful.

11:56 AM, January 21, 2006  

Post a Comment

<< Home