the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Monday, November 21, 2005

My hair is getting bigger by the minute

Sure, the "little people" have to wait until December 25 to get their stockings filled, but not this nearly blind bat, nosireebub. Christmas can bite me, I got myself a shitload of presents in the last week.

I know what you're sayin' before you even say it: "Bucky, shame on you! It's not nice to dis Christmas, and if you buy it for yourself, you really haven't experienced the joy of giving, have you?"

Yeah, but I sure as hell experienced the bliss of receiving. I received, from myself, a few CDs this week. Just small tokens of my gratitude, for all the understanding I give myself, not to mention all the sexual favors. I never tell me "no", never claim to myself that I have a headache, and never bitch and say "You only love me for the nookie!" when I give myself Victoria's Secret lingerie as gifts.

So, as my reward for bein' such a good sport (note: I don't mean this about myself, but when a guy says a girl is a "good sport" it generally means that she gives head without any required kissing beforehand, and will swallow without much prompting), I purchased a number of CDs that I had either wanted for a while, or which just caught my eye while shopping. Now in my possession, and being added to the neverending collection, are:

  • RENT movie soundtrack. Because it's different from the original Broadway cast recording. And because I am obsessed with RENT.
  • Kate Bush - Aerial. This is Kate's first new CD in 13 years, and is a two-disk set. The first disk is poppier tunes, and the second disk is more classical/concept. I haven't heard it enough to give an opinion on it, but it didn't jump out and make me love it on the first couple of listens. We shall see...and hear.
  • White Stripes - Get Behind Me Satan. I've had possession of a few songs from this CD, and I liked 'em so much it seemed criminal not to have the rest of the album. Plus, the cover art kicks ass.
  • Susan Tedeschi - Hope and Desire. Susan has put down her guitar and her songwriter's mantle to make an album of covers which makes her voice the center of focus. As always, I love her vocals. Truthfully, though, I miss the rockin' blues that she strutted out on Just Won't Burn and then withdrew just as quickly with her next album. Rock out, Susan, puh-leeeeeze!
  • Jamie Cullum - Catching Tales. I've raved about Jamie Cullum since I happened up his previous CD, Twentysomething. I haven't heard this album enough to be absolutely in love with it yet, but I know it's a good sign that I can't stop repeating the opening track, Get Your Way. "What game shall we play today?/How about the one where you don't get your way." Jazzy/Funky/Cheeky, thy name is Cullum.
Ah, but those aren't the CDs I wanna talk about here. There's one more in this new stack that, frankly, gave me more than I paid for. While perusing the miles of aisles in the Circuit City CD department, I happened upon a disk with a purple checked cover and the irresistible moniker Monster '80s.



















I had no idea that just lookin' at the back of this CD would trigger the small wave of nostalgia I felt as I looked at the cracked case (it was the only one, and I bought the damaged goods with great cheerfulness) and saw the song lineup:

  1. Hazy Shade of Winter - Bangles
  2. Dancing With Myself - Billy Idol
  3. Take On Me - a-ha
  4. Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran
  5. Do You Really Want to Hurt Me - Culture Club
  6. Who Can It Be Now? - Men at Work
  7. Stray Cat Strut - Stray Cats
  8. Sunglasses at Night - Corey Hart
  9. Jessie's Girl - Rick Springfield
  10. Goody Two Shoes - Adam Ant
  11. If This Is It - Huey Lewis and the News
  12. Der Kommissar - After the Fire
  13. Broken Wings - Mr. Mister
  14. She Blinded Me With Science - Thomas Dolby
  15. Too Shy - Kajagoogoo
  16. Mickey - Toni Basil
  17. True - Spandau Ballet
My hair started to crimp itself as I looked at the back of the CD. Of course, I bought it. Not every song means something to me, but the ones that do jab me in my waxy yellow nostaligia buildup made a huge impression on me.

I was never a huge Rick Springfield fan, but hearing Jessie's Girl makes me think of the night I went to prom with Rico, and they had all kinds of activities lined up for us all night, including a screening of Rick Springfield's movie Hard to Hold. Of course, we skipped the movie and the putt putt golf in favor of "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, but I'm enthusiastic" teenage sex.

Sunglasses at Night. Little did I know that this song would be prophetic for me. Oh, how I remember Corey Hart's MTV-edited angst. *sigh* I never knew this song would be the anthem for my migraines.

Then there was Culture Club and Do You Really Want to Hurt Me. This was back in the days when we used to have (serious!) conversations like, "Do you think Boy George is gay?" "No, he's not gay, no way." "Well, he sure acts gay." "Oh, sure, and next you'll tell me George Michael is gay. "

Bring on the Stray Cats! Brian Setzer only gets cooler with age, and his tattoos actually get more awesome as they fade. It's a phenomenon peculiar to Mr. Setzer. I used to get really, really mad when people would hear my song Groovy Guys and say, "Hey, that sounds like Stray Cat Strut!" But you know what? It kind of does, at least the intro.

One of my high school friends, Delayne, was very into new music, and would constantly run around quoting the B-52s and the Talking Heads. She was also a huge fan of Adam Ant, and she would tease me constantly with Goody Two Shoes' refrain of "Don't drink, don't smoke - what do you do?" All of this was completely absurd, of course, as I definitely did drink and did smoke. It was more a question of what I didn't do. You may not believe this, but once upon a time, I had an innocent face.

If you happened to be one of my bar buddies when I worked at 7-Eleven, then you know that I had a ritual. After we left (were kicked out of) the bar at closing time, we'd have breakfast at the Capitol coney island, which, bless them, stays open 24 hours a day. At the time, they had the little doohickies (the scientific name) at the table where you could trigger the jukebox without leaving your pancakes. I would always get to the table doohickie first, and it would have been a major incident if I hadn't been able to play Der Kommissar every single time. It was my birthright. And now whenever I hear that song, I immediately feel drunk and crave french toast.

And finally, She Blinded Me With Science. Has there ever been a better song? I shall answer that before you have a chance - NO! SBMWS is THE best song, ever. Ever. See? More danceable music for the girl who can't dance. But I can yell out "SCIENCE!" with the best of 'em. I also like to sub "hatpins" for "science" and sing, "She blinded ME, with HATPINS!" Oh, you'd best believe I can entertain myself for hours with that shit. "Good heavens, Miss Sakamoto - you're BEAUtiful!"

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make my bangs higher, higher, higher!

33 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Circus Kelli said...

FIRST!!!

No, Bucky, your bangs need to be HIGHER. Gimme the comb, let me try...

What?! Boy George is GAY?! No freakin' way!

12:14 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Spikey1 said...

Well fuck me swinging.. I never knew that was what "good sport" meant.

12:23 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

I believe a crimping iron, a can of Aqua Net, a sweatband, and a pair of wristbands are definitely in order. Oh, and legwarmers.

12:31 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger MilkMaid said...

Mmmm...isn't it poetic that I watched Pretty in Pink this weekend and had a buncha 80s flashbacks! Duckie, now THERE is a gay one. Move over Boy George Michael.

Merry Christmas to Bucky, The Early Bird!

12:35 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

CKelli - I was as shocked as you when Boy George came out. I wept into my Rock Hudson poster all night...

Spikey1 - see, you can come here for an education, and I will never try to collect on your student loans.

LadyBug - that would comprise a serious '80s uniform. What was the brand of those black-and-white checkered tennis shoes many of my friends sported back then?

MilkMaid - aaaaaah, Pretty in Pink. They meant Duckie, of course...

1:26 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

You forgot Dippity-Doo, people. And just for the record, I always thought "I Scare Myself" was the better Thomas Dolby song.
That Cd needed to include that other way cool subculture from the 80's - the rebirth of the two-tone "mod/ska" phase, as exampled by the English Beat/Madness and the Skatalites.
I saw the b-52's open for the Specials once, and also saw the Police open for Pat Benatar - who knew back then they would eclipse the opening acts?

1:34 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Bucky, you need to get the soundtrack to Jimmy Neutron The Movie.

Spandau Ballet? *shudders*

1:36 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger PlazaJen said...

I love Rick Springfield. He was going to marry me, you know. If only he had met me....SIGH.
Bucky, I'm going to knit you some neon legwarmers. But only if you promise to do the Flashdance-shower-striptease on the internet. ;)

1:47 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Pissy Britches said...

Make them high and take a pic.
I love that CD. I don't have that exact one but I have about 10 others that are very similar. The 80's fucking rocked!

1:59 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

I almost didn't get past Kate Bush. We're talking gag time here. Ichabod rented a video of one of her concerts one time. I got home before he was done watching it. She is as weird as she is a bad singer. UGH!

The 80's CD, however, sounds like more fun.

3:22 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Opera gal - Dippity Doo! Hahahahaha, I LOVED to make fun of my mom for her jar of Dippity Doo! Weren't they the ones who had the commercial with the sing-song jingle, "Curlers in your hair, sha-ame o-on yo-ou"?
And "I Scare Myself" might be a great song, but not once in there do I get the chance to scream out "SCIENCE!" So I stand by my pick. ;)

Mr. B - does this mean we won't be slow dancing to Spandau Ballet anytime soon? *sobs*

PlazaJen - I'm sure the wedding plans just slipped Rick's mind. He'll be there. And I will totally do some bad Flashdance for the right leg warmers. But...you saw my dance pictures a couple of posts ago. You have been warned of Ugly Dancing.

Pissy - come on and help Circus Kelli with my bangs. More Aquanet!

Squirl - why you gotta be hatin' on Kate? Just because she sounds like a vacuum cleaner in heat is no reason to hate Kate. ;)

3:55 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger JessicaRabbit said...

You forgot Video Killed the Radio Star and I ran so far away.

How can you talk about the 80's and not talk about A Flock of Seagulls and the hairstyles they inspired?

Jeez....

Oh and in the 80's? I was in grade school....

4:07 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Stacie said...

OMG!! So many memories! AWESOME post! Totally Awesome! I mean...like bag your face...yeah...like gag me with a spoon. Stacie

5:01 PM, November 21, 2005  
Anonymous deneen said...

Jamie Cullum is in my opinion very talented. I listen to TwentySomething at least once a week and have even consented to having his official site e-mail me from time to time with the latest news. He is just "yummy."

5:12 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Sorry, I can't dance.

*hangs head*

5:15 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Kassi said...

I've been listening to Doug FM 93.1 lately, and I swear they play "Jessie's Girl" at least once a day.

It's all good.

5:53 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

Buying music is SO good for us. I got married in the '80s. You still need to buy some Mother's Finest and some John Prine. I love me some Boy George, but I always had to respond to that song, "Yes, I really do..." Just don't like that song. I had the most erotic famous person dream of my life about Huey Lewis. Not the News, just Huey. There, now that I've thoroughly commented on your very entertaining post, I have some sad news, about ME:

It is raining cats and dogs, and freezing cold here. That's not the bad news. All my clients for tonight cancelled. That's not the bad news. I don't have my 3-D glasses for watching Medium tonight. THAT is the bad news. I am . . . distraught. *sniff*

7:01 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Jess - first, you may bite me.
Whippersnapper.
Now, here's what's on Monster 80s volume 2:

1. Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears For Fears
2. Miss Me Blind - Culture Club
3. Come On Eileen - Dexy's Midnight Runners
4. I Ran (So Far Away) - A Flock Of Seagulls
5. 867-5309/Jenny - Tommy Tutone ListenMusic
6. 99 Luftballoons - Nena
7. What I Like About You - The Romantics
8. Bette Davis Eyes - Kim Carnes
9. Caribbean Queen (No More Love On The Run) - Billy Ocean
10. One Thing Leads To Another - The Fixx
11. Goody Two Shoes - Adam Ant
12. Voices Carry - 'Til Tuesday
13. Working For The Weekend - Loverboy
14. You Spin Me 'Round (Like A Record) - Dead Or Alive
15. Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
16. The Warrior - Scandal
17. Missing You - John Waite

I see your Flock of Seagulls there, but no Buggles. But do you see anything weird? Yes, Goody Two Shoes is on both volumes in the same series. Whaaaaa?

Stacie - I am soooooo sure...

Deneen - I've loved Jamie since the first second I saw him play on TV one night while channel surfing. He is unique!

Mr. B - oh, but you WILL. I demand it. And you'll (at least pretend to) like it!

Kassi - I've heard rumors that Rick is gonna come back to General Hospital. *sigh*

Susie - oh nooooo! And you don't just have any other 3D glasses just lying about the house? (don't laugh - I did until I cleaned recently)

7:46 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Annejelynn said...

I swear, every TV spot I see for the movie, RENT, I see on TV, I think of you...

9:10 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

Goober:
"Hey, that sounds like Stray Cat Strut!"
M_D:
"No, damnit, it's Stray Cat Slut!"

It's not easy being me. :o)

9:29 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Damn! I really must be old! I have to go way back before the 80s to start feeling nostalgia!

10:50 PM, November 21, 2005  
Anonymous Kylz said...

Ok, I was born in the 80's. Does that count?!
And a Merry Christmas to you too Bucky! You know what they say, "If you want something done right, you will have to do it yourself". If you know what I mean?!

11:37 PM, November 21, 2005  
Blogger hemlock said...

Oh. 80s music. How I love thee. I find it so hard to find a good 80s CD that has ALL the songs I love on it. Still haven't found it.

My dad picked up the latest Kate Bush too, and he said he prefers her older stuff. I'll have to give it a listen too so I can give my own opinion.

8:34 AM, November 22, 2005  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Like totally. I'm so sure...

9:03 AM, November 22, 2005  
Blogger Amy said...

Okay this was too great. How fun to go song by song and remember stuff. Well done, B.

11:44 AM, November 22, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

I turned 3 in 1980....teehee

Good CD though...

12:22 PM, November 22, 2005  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

Since Susie mentioned John Prine, everyone should own some of his music.

I still have yet to warm to the new White Stripes. Admittedly, I've only given it minimal listens before filing it away.

The rest I know little or nothing about.

2:51 PM, November 22, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Annejelynn - at least now it's varied from the usual "see a flashing butt plug, think of Bucky"

M_D - really? You sound pretty easy to me. ;)

SS Nick - *sigh* I remember when Happy Days came out in the '70s, and I thought, "Wow, the 1950s were a LONG TIME ago." Oooooh, how that changes.

Kylz - hell, I've got neices and nephews your age. Are you old enough to be reading this site, young lady?

LeafGirl - Kate Bush will be hard-pressed to make an album that I like better than "The Dreaming." I wore out a vinyl copy of that, and still play the hell out of my CD copy.

CKelli - now I have to go find my copy of Valley Girl. Okay, fine - fer sure, fer sure, she's a valley girl and there is no cure.

Amy - I hope only good ghosts were stirred by this post.

Effie - thank you and...you may bite me as well. :)

Bone Machine - well, in spite of all this new music, I find myself playing my "Carmen for Orchestra" CD. I always come back to them damn Toreadors.

3:36 PM, November 22, 2005  
Blogger whfropera said...

ah...BFE, have I taught you NOTHING?
Carmen for ORCHESTRA?
I'll trade you Placido and Julia Migenes Johnson for your batwing ring.

4:54 PM, November 22, 2005  
Blogger LadyBug said...

Vans? Is that right? (The black-and-white checkered shoes.)

10:34 AM, November 23, 2005  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

Right you are, ladybug.

11:09 AM, November 23, 2005  
Blogger Closet Metro said...

I generally substitute "PENIS" for "SCIENCE."

8:57 PM, November 25, 2005  
Blogger She who shall not be named said...

I have that EXACT cd.

And about 10 other eighties albums.

Cause I love the eighties.
I'm probably not old enough to love the eighties, but whateva! I do what I want!

:)

I LOVE HAZY SHADE OF WINTER. The opening guitar is fantastic!

10:38 PM, November 25, 2005  

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