the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Why why why?

I took this picture last June in Grand Rapids, and I have to say, I find it every bit as disturbing now as I found it then.

Creepy hugging babies

I call it Creepy Hugging Babies. Sorry, but if I put art in my house, it won't be something that looks like a bare-assed mutant baby with its head on backward.

Tonight I was pretty whipped after work - oh, not like that. Do you think I'd be complaining? No, I was simply exhausted, and at my age, there is no shame in admitting surrender to a nap. It was 5:30 when I got horizontal, and I set myself a 7:30 alarm.

At 6:20 my eyes popped open, I looked at the clock, and I freaked the fuck out. Of course, I thought it was 6:20 a.m., and since my work day begins at 7 a.m., I was just a little panicked. And panic combined with sudden awakening from a deep sleep is a sure-fire recipe for that confused, gelatinous, struggling-out-of-the-quicksand feeling, where reality is elastic and just out of reach. My sequence of thoughts went something like:

Oh fuck, I'm late, I need to get up, shut off the alarm, hey, why is the PM dot showing? Did I set it wrong? Was my alarm set for AM? No, it's set for PM too. I'm still so late! Fuck fuck fuck...

Oh.

Fuck.

I was takin' a nap, huh?

Dumbass.

That was bad enough, and it took me a few minutes to get back to sleep after the adrenaline had started to flow. Can you imagine if I'd looked up in my panic and seen that freaky baby statue?

I'd never sleep again.

creepybabies1.jpg

creepybabies2.jpg

creepybabies3.jpg

14 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Susie said...

Twist the head around on that bare-assed mutant baby, wouldja?!

(I wish I had a nickel for every time I've said that.)

11:15 PM, November 17, 2005  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

Who won the wrestling match?
Baby wrestling, on ESPN!
The winner goes on to compete in the Toddler division...

12:00 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger eclectic said...

Somehow when I pictured wrestling here at the Cotillion, I never imagined it would involve mutant babies. I have so much to learn....

1:29 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Zombie_Flyboy said...

Yuck!

Plus they have cankles.

Double yuck!

4:20 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger spoonleg said...

AHHHHH! That baby thing is creeptastic. Im gonna have nightmares!

6:30 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

You'll be happy to know that this particular statue is no longer in that window. But now you have it documented for historical purposes so that's okay.

Yeah, it creeps me out, too. You know, maybe they're just dancing.

6:48 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Schmootzie said...

It is good that some flunky artist decided to render the "Love Is..." kids in 3D.

America needed that in a challenging time.

7:14 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

That is pretty disturbing. It looks more like they're gonna wrestle instead of hug.

8:43 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Effie said...

THat's a CREEPY picture--and now seeing it in psychadelic colours--i won't be able to sleep--

you're a year older than my hubby BTW

10:19 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Susie - I'm sure Jif tires of hearing you talk about the bare-assed mutant baby. AT least call him his name, Biscuit.

M_D - they were both disqualified for steroid use.

Eclectic - this is only the opening act for the pudding wrestling.

Zombie - yet another reason I never reproduced - skirry babies.

Spoonie - always glad to add to the collective horror...

Squirl - yeah, dancing right into my nightmares...

Schmootzie - I think it's the perfect panacea for this perilous period.

CKelli - I think the hugging comes after the wrestling, once they've established dominance.

Effie - go on, you're married to an old man? ;)

10:23 AM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I once woke up to the sound of a familiar voice on the phone. I listened and when it was apparently my turn I said, "Hello?"

The voice said, "Yes?"

I was like "Who is this?"

"THIS IS YOUR SISTER! WE'VE BEEN TALKING FOR THIRTY MINUTES!"

"Well, you're just going to have to repeat everything, I just woke up."

12:33 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

Even I am disturbed by this one and I'm pretty well all fuckered up.

11:19 PM, November 18, 2005  
Blogger greatwhitebear said...

There is absolutely no color scheme that can make this statue less creepy

11:01 AM, November 19, 2005  
Blogger greatwhitebear said...

You realize, of course, that "Oh So Tight" is really just repackaged 'Polygrip"

11:07 AM, November 19, 2005  

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