Mentally unstable but probably harmless

For quite some time now, ever since I jotted it down in a notebook months ago, I've wanted to share an idea with you that makes my television experience that much richer. What can I possibly do, I hear you asking, to make watching satellite TV even more rewarding than it already is? Could I even be proposing something more fun than infomercials galore at 4 in the morning?

Yes, I have the greatest idea in the history of watching television: Whenever someone uses the word diabetes, I automatically mentally substitute the word diarrhea. If you think that isn't fun, you haven't laid on the bed laughing until the tears flowed freely after that Patti LaBelle commercial for the diabetes testing strips airs. Or after BB King informs us he's had diabetes for 30 years. Wow! The 30-year diarrhea! That's gotta get old after a while, not to mention the stinging. His starfish must be done to a tender turn by now.

I wrote it down so long ago that every time I go to post about it, I start to doubt myself and think that perhaps I've already written about it. I've officially been blogging long enough to lose track of all the shit I've posted. Today I did a search of my archives for the word diarrhea, and if the search results are correct, I have not used that idea here before. However, I did come up with diarrhea mentioned in an alarming number of posts (I found 11), leading me to believe that perhaps I need to find some other phrase that's equally as descriptive as "bubblin' like Satan's diarrhea" and such. Also, a Google search for "diabetes" "diarrhea" "bucky" brings me up as the, ah, number two result.

However, a search for the word urine in my archives yields 33 posts. Hmmmm. Let's see about vomit...30 for vomit, 19 for puke.

God, my need for therapy is pretty obvious, isn't it? Maybe I need to explore something new, like earwax. Or maybe I just need to shut the fuck up. I'll get back to you on that.