the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The Vulcan nerve pinch would've hurt less

I got fucked in the ass yesterday, and all you got was this lousy post.

Sorry to those of you who are now actively engaged in a mental play-by-play of the rectal rumba, but I'm bein' figurative-like. Metaphorical, if you will. No anuses were harmed in the course of my day.

My car's been making a rattling noise that just didn't feel like it could be a good thing, so I took it to the auto shop Monday. Lucky me, they found all kinds of reasons for the rattling, none of them in my favor. So I took it back in Tuesday morning and they commenced to perform open-hood surgery. Extensive, expensive surgery, surgery which included the application of suction to my wallet. I'm pretty certain my car knows it was paid off within the last six months.

Did I also mention that I haven't slept properly for a couple of days? See, I don't normally drink caffeine, so when I do have some, a little goes a long way. Monday night, I was out driving and decided to grab something to drink. One of those Monster energy drinks caught my eye, and I thought I would have that for a change, and maybe stay up and paint for a little while.

I didn't get to sleep until after 5 a.m., and then I had to get up at 8 so I'd be ready to take the car to the shop. Also, I can tell you from personal experience that jittery hands are not your best friend when holding a paintbrush and attempting to lay out some righteous detail work. Luckily, I was able to go to Squirl's and sleep for a couple more hours while my car was under the wrench. But now it's 4:30 a.m. and I haven't been able to get to sleep, well, unless you count that 15 minutes where I drifted off and then lurched immediately back into consciousness when Friday attacked my foot.

If you'd like to know what the inside of my head feels like right now, I can only explain it in video form:






Giving Shatner a run for his money.

14 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger here today, gone tomorrow said...

After watching that video, I'm wondering if you should cut your losses and go to the emergency room?

7:12 AM, July 25, 2007  
Blogger Susie said...

Sweet dreams soon, honey. I hate insomnia. I've been living there lately.

9:22 AM, July 25, 2007  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

HTGT - OK, I slept for a few hours. My head is slightly less nauseatingly Technicolor.

Susie - I hope you slept, too!

12:56 PM, July 25, 2007  
Blogger Squirl said...

I think I'm permanently scarred after watching that video! Were those girls supposed to hobbits or chipmunks?

I hope your sleep is getting back to normal again.

1:25 PM, July 25, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bucky, that video is so awesome. Thank you for making my day.

1:40 PM, July 25, 2007  
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

That is sooo fucked up! Car angst, insomnia and that video. Man!

2:11 PM, July 25, 2007  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Good LORD. Stay away from the Monster drinks. Get some sleep. In that order.

4:36 PM, July 25, 2007  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Squirl - Chipmunks, hobbits, it's all roadkill when the monster trucks roll through the Shire.

Anon - OK, if that made your day, I'm a little worried about you. ;)

Kranki - I didn't think anyone could ever accurately display my brain functions, but Nimoy nailed it.

CKelli - Of course, now that I want to be awake to go out tonight, I feel sleepy. So I'm trying a little less extreme method of caffeine, a Pepsi left here gratis by a very sweet pizza delivery boy.

5:00 PM, July 25, 2007  
Blogger whfropera said...

i have a theory about how your car knows when you have money in your checking account.

7:38 PM, July 25, 2007  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Damn it, Bucky, don’t you read contents before gulping down drinks? Some of those bloody energy drinks are potent—and I don’t mean like Bacardi 151!

Is there still a rattle in the car? Did you search it for a misplaced vibrator or some other toy that could be rattling?

God bless you, woman! I still worry about you.

10:21 PM, July 25, 2007  
Blogger Von Krankipantzen said...

whfropera-I totally need to hear about that theory because I SWEAR my car does that all the time. Get a little extra $ and BAM! something needs to be fixed.

2:08 PM, July 26, 2007  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

"Sleep deprivation makes things reeeeeally...neat" --Henry Rollins

6:03 PM, July 26, 2007  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

"What's your crime?"
"Stampeding cattle."
"That's not much of a crime."
"Through the Vatican."
"Kinky! Sign here."

9:56 PM, July 26, 2007  
Blogger Lynn said...

I think cars plot against us when we're not listening. Too bad the money suckers can't reproduce, too.

10:15 PM, July 26, 2007  

Post a Comment

<< Home