Forget Stacy's mom - Stacy's got it goin' on
Meet my future wife, Stacy London.
You have no idea who I am, but you should find out quickly, as we are meant to be together. Trust me on this one.
We complement each other so well. You're cheeky, and I'm twisted. You're fashionable, and I'm desperately in need of help choosing clothing that doesn't make me look like Joey Ramone. You're gorgeous, and I'm...passable on a dark night. We're both Geminis! It's fate, I'm telling you, blisters-in-the-hot-sun fate.
Ultimately, our romance hinges on one thing:
I like you. Do you like me?
Please answer as soon as possible so that I can begin to plan our glorious honeymoon at Motel 6.
Delusionally yours (until that restraining order reaches my hands),
Katy "What really, really not to wear" Barzedor