the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Monday, March 17, 2008

Faith and blogorrah

Oh, yeah, it's the quintessential Mick's holiday today, and I've got plenty of the Mick running through my veins. But you'll not find me swilling tinted brew in a shamrock-laden pub tonight. For one thing, even if you came to my house and offered me a non-green beer of my choice, I feel too crappy to take you up on it. And even if I was feeling at the top of my game, I consider this an amateur's drinking night, much like New Year's Eve. I prefer to imbibe with professional drunks, thank you very much.

Also, green beer? Gag me with a shillelagh! Sure, you can tell me all night that it's just green food coloring. But how do I know it's not really ale that's permeated with the essence of Wicked Witch? Ha! I rest my case.

So, what does a pasty-skinned potato eater do to celebrate St. Patrick's Day with no beer and no pub crawling? For one, I celebrated by eating the first good food I've eaten in almost a week, thanks to the awesomeness of my just-as-Irish sister. We ate sandwiches the size of our faces while catching up on last week's General Hospital. Sadly, we were too pressed for time to start any brawls with Protestants, but we did dress Friday up like a leprechaun, and he sang us a lovely rendition of his favorite song from the old country, Oh Tranny Boy. Seriously, that cat has a beautiful tenor.

Tonight, I'm celebrating by watching a History Channel documentary on the secret tunnels underneath Chicago (if I see Geraldo with a sledgehammer, though, I'm changing the station). Later on, I'll take out my Pogues albums and...look at them, since I don't currently own a turnntable. But it's the thought that counts, right? I believe I have a recording of Tom Waits singing The Piano Has Been Drinking that was recorded live in Ireland. Close enough? Perhaps later I'll polish up my Uilleann pipes. Um, okay, that joke only works if I actually have a schlong, huh? Dang.

I'm not big on toasts, but I suppose the occasion calls that I leave you with one. Hmmmm, let's see. What would be appropriate for this readership? Oh, I know!

May your ass cheeks clench that butt plug like it was the Blarney Stone, and may your Lucky Charms find their way into some hot bitch's bloomers. Slainte!

It IS easy being green
The wearin' o' the green.

6 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger eclectic said...

Is it real?! It's pretty. Happy St. Paddy's Day, Bucky!

11:18 PM, March 17, 2008  
Blogger here today, gone tomorrow said...

Mazol tov!! And I'm glad you are starting to feel better.

7:07 AM, March 18, 2008  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Yay for feeling a wee bit better!

Happy Day-After-St.-Patty's day!

9:21 AM, March 18, 2008  
Blogger Charlotte in Pa said...

Wow. For the first time in a long while I really, truly felt the love in that toast. Thanks, Bucky... and ditto. :-)

4:16 PM, March 18, 2008  
Blogger Squirl said...

I thought I'd commented but I think I was just talking with you about while I skimmed. Thanks for the awesomeness compliment. :-)
We'll definitely be getting sammiches from that place again.

8:41 AM, March 19, 2008  
Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

Hmmm… and I thought me St. Paddy’s day was lackluster.

6:46 PM, March 20, 2008  

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