the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Monday, February 18, 2008

Lazy Bucky's quickies (snow advisory edition)

  • A headline that will live in infamy, found here:
    Historic beef recall: West Michigan schools pull meat

    I hope they're not all doing it at once; we'd run out of Kleenex!

    Addendum: Apparently, someone at the news site was paying attention, because the headline was changed to something less masturbatory. Damn, I wish I'd gotten a screen capture of that!


  • My Sweet P got auf'd last week on Project Runway. I'll bet she wins the fan favorite competition, though. If you don't like Sweet P, we're gonna rumble. Of course, you'll easily beat my ass, but I will put up a pitiful but heartfelt fight to defend Sweet P's honor.

  • This winter it's snowing here like it did when I was a kid. I'm nostalgic about a lot of things, but getting dumped on repeatedly with ridiculous amounts of snow is not on that list. After a couple of days where the weather wasn't sure which outfit to wear, the rainy one or the snowy one, my driveway looks like a tiny mountain range, and a blizzard is a-brewin' as I type. I almost let the neighbors see how graceful I was when I walked to the mailbox on sheer ice Sunday (if anyone was looking, they did get to see a fair amount of flailing followed by a sheepish grin).

  • If any gamers here haven't played GTA: Vice City Stories yet (I know, the game is old news...but I like my games that way, old and cheap), I urge you to rent it just to listen to the VCPR station on the radio. The radio plays alone are worth the price of admission. "What's that whistling? Pablo, you old dog!"

  • Speaking of which, I am currently being driven absolutely bat-shit crazy by a helicopter mission where I have to lower a magnet onto a stationary object (tricky enough where it's situated between buildings), then a box on the back of a slow-moving truck (tougher still), and finally, bitchiest of them all, a whole moving car (the car is moving fast, too, because it's being chased by bikers with machine guns, and I have to pick it up before the car explodes from all the gunfire). So far, the guy in the car is a dead man every time. The moral of this story is: never hire me to be your helicopter bodyguard.

  • I'm going to be trapped in a blizzard with no beer and no Coca-Cola. It's a damned good thing I stocked up on chilled monkey brains.

  • My last name isn't actually Barzedor - it's my pen name, if you will (my keyboard name?). I realize not everyone is familiar with the phrase upon which my name is a play. Katy Barzedor is a twist on the phrase "Katy bar the door!" which means, roughly, hunker down 'cause the shit's about to hit the fan. Now you know. (The "Katy" part is totally real, though, I promise!)

  • Also, in the interest of full disclosure, I should point out that I am not a millionaire, and I own neither a mansion nor a yacht. Yet.

14 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger eclectic said...

Damn. And I was just about to ask if you knew of a good helicopter bodyguard, too.

6:46 PM, February 18, 2008  
Blogger Nilbo said...

No, you're not rich. And no, no yacht. but I still Katy Barzedor you.

7:59 PM, February 18, 2008  
Blogger Squirl said...

Nils, that's so cute!

Sorry I couldn't make it over today, but that weather really effin' sucks. Too bad you're out of Coke and beer. The trip to Wesco wasn't that bad yesterday. Tomorrow might be work from home day for me.

You should still be able to see Sweet P in the reruns, too.

8:04 PM, February 18, 2008  
OpenID whatwasithinking said...

I really like Sweet P, too. And frankly, I thought that Rami should have been aufed. I know he's talented, but if they were just evaluating based on that one challenge, Chris beat him. At least they didn't auf Chris; they just had to find a way to keep Drapey around.

I love Barzedor. It's one of the reasons I fell in love with you and became your fiance/sister/godchild.

8:13 PM, February 18, 2008  
Blogger Flying Mermaid said...

Who was being doopid about Barzedor? Every once in a while I realize I don't even know your "real" name, do I? and then I realize it doesn't fucking matter. Maybe because it'll probably be Barzedor used for your show: "Katy Barzedor, Dainty on Ice". Why do I continue to derive such joy from linking you with the word "dainty"?

But here's what I really came on here to say:

During my Dolly years I was in Vegas with her once while she had a run at the Mirage. Outside the Mirage was a huge um, billboard kind of thing? But it wasn't painted it was fucking way huger than life photos and maybe even some moving pix, though I can't remember; it might have pre-dated that capability.

Anyway, since Dolly was there that week there was a huge head shot of her on the thing, the size of a building, and underneath it were other promos for Mirage things, including the buffet. The picture of Dolly's humongo head was stationary, but various words floated by underneath, changing every few seconds.

I was quick with eye, brain and camera, so somewhere I've got the shot I snatched for posterity that has Dolly's huge head, and under it are the words, "ALL YOU CAN EAT".

Made me insanely happy. The thought of it still does.

4:34 AM, February 19, 2008  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

WHAT?! Trapped with no Coca-Cola?! Just the thought gives me the vapors...

Hang in there Katy NotBarzedor. All that snow will be gone... in like, July...

12:44 PM, February 19, 2008  
Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said...

I was hoping for a ride in the yacht.

1:31 PM, February 19, 2008  
Blogger Momentarily_Distracted said...

But you still have the assless chaps, right?

3:50 PM, February 19, 2008  
Blogger Opera Gal said...

BFE - I will need some GTA tutorials - I am so old-school I stopped playing video games after Neverwinter Nights, which was just a rip-off of Diablo (which all MMOPRGs are)

3:55 PM, February 19, 2008  
Blogger chia said...

I think I actually asked Squirl once... "what's the nationality of Barzedore?"

Add that to the lengthy list of "how I make an ass out of myself on a daily basis"

5:50 PM, February 19, 2008  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was so bummed and SHOCKED(!!) that Sweet P wasn't voted PR Fan Favorite.

I like Christian and I think he's talented - but FAN FAVORITE? WTF.

The reunion show was not very nice. I mean, they went out of their way to make people look bad and/or put them on the spot. No one had a question for Heidi? Instead they played a stupid boring montage of her, not even showing the most interesting things. They made fun of Chris's laugh, Kevin's [not] gayness, Michael Kors's laugh, Ricky's crying (which annoyed me, but geez they didn't have to rub it in so much!)

I felt bad for Carmen, who by editing or perhaps "reality", acted once again like an emotionally insecure and jealous little kid.

Poor taste. What do I expect? It's reality tv. They should be more humane. There were more interesting things to talk about.

Hope you are having a good week, my friend.

Take care,
Sheryl

2:13 AM, February 21, 2008  
Blogger Bone Machine said...

I still blush when I order the "pulled pork" at Corky's Barbecue and unfortunately, the waitress and I aren't on the same wavelength there. Otherwise, I might have to take up smoking.

1:24 PM, February 21, 2008  
Blogger Bucky Four-Eyes said...

Eclectic - I finally beat that damned mission the morning after I wrote this. But, um, you probably still don't want to hire me.

Nilbo - Awwww, that's the nicest thing a non-relative has said to me in ages and ages. (Your check is in the mail.)

Squirl - That's okay, we just have lots of GH to watch tonight.

Susie - Drapey! HA! I love that. I think Rami is just gorgeous as all get-out, but he went on my shit list when he made Sweet P cry. And his clothes, for the most part, bore me to tears.

Mermaid - you can call me "Dainty" all you want, so long as you don't expect me to live with it (I genuflected on the ice today...ahhh, that Catholic upbringing comes to the fore).
And I realllly hope you find that Dolly pic someday, 'cause that would be worth a glimpse.

CKelli - July? Aren't you being a bit optimistic?

RSG - when I get the yacht, you'll be the first person I call!

M_D - I do indeed have the chaps. Actually, I used them for a photoshoot recently...oh, wait. I don't want to tell that story. Never mind! ;)

Opera gal - I can start you out with GTA 3. It's not as sharp as the graphics in the newest games, but it's still hella fun!

Chia - eh, I know it's not a phrase that a lot of people use. I have it drilled into my brain from a certain NHL announcer who uses the phrase at least once per game.

Sheryl - I KNOW! I thought for sure it would be Sweet P, or maybe Chris...the thought that it would be Christian, by a landslide, floors me. And the little twerp will probably take home the big prize, too.
I thought the reunion show was kinda mean, too. Although, I must say, I loooooved the part where they showed Michael Kors helpless with laughter during the WWE challenge. It made all of the judges seem a little more human to me. I also thought it was a little mean when Heidi and Tim called Victorya "uptight" (but it's completely true, and I'm not a Victorya fan, so not a lot of complaint on that one).

Bone - maybe you need to be more specific. You need to order the "pull MY pork" and see what happens. Because when you just order the pulled pork, chances are she's going back to the kitchen and jacking off the chef.

1:56 PM, February 21, 2008  
Blogger Circus Kelli said...

Well yes, I'm trying to be a bit more optimistic these days because if I realize the snow is going to melt when it turns 95 degrees in the shade for a week, then it is going to snow like a mofo again, I may have to throw myself off a very tall building.

All the gray and snow and ice are starting to get on my last nerve. *twitch*

9:38 PM, February 21, 2008  

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