the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Friday, April 22, 2005

Lick me, I buzz you up

This time of year is one of my favorites, as on a warm night we can see more than a dozen toads havin' pool parties in our koi pond. And really, can you think of better entertainment for a spring night than watchin' toads get all Barry White on their females?

After I obnoxiously leaned down into the pond and took numerous photographs of the amorous amphibians, Jim and I sat back to enjoy the toad show, complete with singing (from the toads, not from me -- hey, I'm no Barry White). As we played voyeur to our little horny pond cavorters (yep, that's a word now), Jim suddenly exclaimed "Oh, my god," in a disgusted voice.

What? I wondered aloud. "We're being watched," he said.

Sure enough, I looked up, and our elderly neighbor lady was in her window, slowly opening and closing the curtains to get a peek at us. I don't really think she can see that far with any clarity, and it was dark out. All I can figure is she saw the camera flashes in the yard and curiosity got the better of her. So, she was watching us as we watched the toads fucking. It would be a delightful double layer of voyeurism if only it did not involve an old woman and some toads. At least this time she didn't call the fire department on us ('nother story, 'nother story...).

I wonder what she thought we were takin' pictures of that made her need to look? Doesn't she know I only take those kind of photos in my basement?

13 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Dude, you guys have to find a better pond. Or drop some spanish fly in that one, maybe it would help?

8:32 AM, April 22, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Froggy Goes a Courtin'

9:12 AM, April 22, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

But the dragonflies were having a great time!

9:32 AM, April 22, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah - spring - that time of year when all the animals in the forest get twitterpated (Bambi - 1942). Hey, them thar ain't the kinda toads y'can LICK and get all goofy like ya was smokin' skunk-weed, is they?

9:42 AM, April 22, 2005  
Blogger Spurious Nurse said...

The backyard of Casa de Spurious is home to the worlds most prolific racoon brothel. You just haven't lived until you've been woken up by hot racoon lovin' sounds at 4AM.

9:48 AM, April 22, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Dazed, I tried that toad licking thing. I didn't feel anything, but the toad wants to see me again Saturday night.

Squirl, did they smoke little dragonfly cigarettes when they were done?

9:49 AM, April 22, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Plum - we need pictures. Seriously. We have desperate need of racoon humping pictures here at the Cotillion.

9:50 AM, April 22, 2005  
Blogger Joseph said...

I built two ponds at one of my old homes and the neighbors complained about the frogs every spring. So I sprinkled more spanish fly in.

Racoon Love is the worst. One morning I got so pissed I doused them from the third floor with a big pot of water. It was like flash dance only without the chair.

SPLASH!!!! The decided to take the lovin somewhere else thankfully.

10:21 AM, April 22, 2005  
Blogger Susie said...

OK, first, I would like to complain that the title is very misleading here. I thought for sure with the "buzz" and the licking there would be a vibrator in this story.
I kept waiting for you two to do to granny what you did to the guy at the pumps. Then even the frogs would have stopped and watched.
I said, "YOU TWO TO DO TO" and I can't tell you how much fun I had saying that. youtwotodoto, youtwotodoto...

2:01 PM, April 22, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Susie, a vibrator?

Obviously, you have me mistaken for another blog.

Besides, I'd hate to drop it in the pond. Er, um, I mean, uh...

2:14 PM, April 22, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

Do you think when raccoons do it, it's like more exciting because of the mystery of the mask and all? I mean, like, it's sort of a masquerade party partner, in the sack. But are the disappointed when the lovin’s done that they can’t take the mask off and realize it’s the same-ole-same-ole and they didn’t get some strange after all? The entire experience ends up being a let down?

Where is Swampy when I need her?

2:45 PM, April 22, 2005  
Blogger Candy said...

Oh I see one innocent vibrator comment and then I get brought up, what is that? Im such a nice girl. Your the one talking bout the Frog hokey pokey.

Alright alright, im a dirty girl fine, but I dont have wild kingdom going on here. Ahh, shit, yes I do. 12 cats. damn it. I cant even defend myself here.

3:41 PM, April 22, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Mr. B - you give me much to mull over with your philosophical raccoon questions. Personally, I think they're sexy beasts with or without the mask.

Jess -- oh, yeah, dig yourself in just a little deeper there, girl...

5:35 PM, April 22, 2005  

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