So why don't you marry it?

If you know me, you know that good food is one of my great joys in life. The mere mention of certain restaurants is enough to make my taste buds throb in anticipation like engorged genitalia awaiting sweet violation. One of these eateries is Badawest, and if you ever crave some fine, fine Lebanese cuisine when you're in the Flint area, I highly recommend you take the time to stop in and savor their culinary delights.

So it was with no resistance whatsoever that I recently accepted several co-workers' invitation to have lunch at Badawest. There were a few of us from different departments there, including one fellow from our sales department (but I like him anyway). The five of us were happily diggin' into our schwarma and gallaba and hummous and such when a former co-worker approached our table. Lisa is a very sweet, bubbly girl, but is given to fits of blondeness (no offense to the blonde among you; I was considered blonde until I was 20 or so). She used to work in our sales department, so she and the current sales guy started conversing in that direction as she stood beside our table.

Invevitably, talk turned to his current/her former boss, a chap by the name of Richard. Lisa was crackin' some good-natured but slightly insulting jokes at Richard's expense (as he was not there to defend himself), and the bunch of us were having a good laugh about it. Then, I guess, Lisa felt the need to let us know that there were really no hard feelings toward her former supervisor.

So, at the top of her lungs, Lisa announced to us and to everyone in the restaurant: "Oh, I'm just kiddin'. I LOVE DICK!"

I was stunned for a second, thinking Oh my fucking god, did she just say that out loud?
Then I looked over at Arjay, and he had his hand over his face. I could see one eye peeking out at me, and the corner of his mouth fighting the smirk that was forming. Everyone else, to their credit, gave no visible hint that they were seconds away from dying of internalized laughter, even as Lisa repeated, for clarity, "No, really, I LOVE DICK!" Everyone in the restaurant was lookin' over at her by that point, and I just hoped she'd go away before I exploded. Arjay started to shake and clutched his hand over his face even more tightly. I took the opportunity to snort into my napkin under the pretext of sneezing.

I was grateful that Lisa was on her way out of the restaurant when she stopped by our table, and as soon as she was out the door, we all looked at each other and then, as one, began to howl with laughter. Some of the other patrons joined in.

I'm thinkin' they need to have some little cards you can fill out on the tables at Badawest now. The cards should say something such as:

I like Dick, do you like Dick?
Check one: ___Yes ___No

Which would you check?