the Bucky Four-Eyes Cotillion

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

What color is your smoke?

I just happened to be home for lunch today when ABC interrupted The View (okay, no big loss) to show us live coverage of the billowing smoke in Vatican City. Since I didn't feel like changing the channel, I sat and watched the utterly fascinating visual...well, okay, so the billowing smoke in a Cheech and Chong movie is a lot more entertaining to watch, but the new pope was the only show in town at that moment. So I sat and ate and watched the crowd in the square veer between enraptured applause and utter confusion about what color the smoke truly was. Hundreds of people milling about, craning their their necks for a better look at an ugly smokestack and pretending that this announcement would make even a little bit of difference to any real person on this earth. I mean, it's not as if it was something important, like waiting at the stage door for a glimpse of Mick Jagger or something (yes, I'm old, shut up about it).

The whole black smoke/white smoke thing seemed totally wrong this time, though. As far as I'm concerned, it should have been pink smoke, and it should have happened over a week ago. Because, as anyone who reads important news sources like blogs already knows, the new pope was already chosen before all this hoo-hah and fanfare started.

All hail, motherfuckers!

(oh, and by the way: if all this papal pomp and circumstance bullshit is still on when General Hospital is supposed to be taping for me, I'm gonna kick a pope-sized hole in the living room wall. The righteous indignation will spew like an outta control facial)

11 of you felt the overwhelming need to say somethin':

Blogger Katy Barzedor said... are gonna be SO SORRY you put that idea in my mind...

2:00 PM, April 19, 2005  
Blogger Squirl said...

You gotta wonder what those Cardinals are smoking in there to get all that smoke. :-)

2:03 PM, April 19, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Note how I kindly refrain from making comments like "You also gotta wonder what they're smoking to elect a 78 year old pope"

2:13 PM, April 19, 2005  
Blogger SWSNBN said...

That's right. If General Hospital is pre-empted, I am gonna help Bucky kick a hole in the wall. *grin*

2:37 PM, April 19, 2005  
Blogger Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

You can't pick a young pope, he'd get hit on too much.


2:38 PM, April 19, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

See, I have a theory on why they chose the old guy, and it fits in nicely with the smoke question.

The only time cardinals can throw a party of that magnitude, and with such a fine array of altar boys from all over the world, is during the conclave. They don't wanna wait another 26 years for another party like this one, so they elected an old fucker who's likely to die soon, they hope. And the smoke? They're gonna party like it's 1699.

2:39 PM, April 19, 2005  
Blogger Ern said...

All of the news channels have been "All Pope, All Day, Every Day!" since the oldie died. Maybe now they will get back to some actual news. I mean, back to some actual political scandals and child molestation trial re-enactments.

And re: your previous post?
Yes, I like Dick. One in particular!

3:07 PM, April 19, 2005  
Blogger Amy said...

Man, I miss GH. I haven't watched it since Laura painted Luke's apartment bright pink.

4:33 PM, April 19, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bucky, thank you so much for paying homage to my elected position. I am trying to do a good job, but its hard when those old men refuse to even look at me.

I think my boobies scare them.

Silly old men dont realize boobies are next to godliness.

And man, I so need a facial,heh.

8:14 PM, April 19, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

I'm happy to report that GH was not seriously preempted for any Popeliness (apologies to our resident Pope).
Laura painted Luke's apartment pink? Didn't she know she was all the pink Luke needed?

And yes, now we can get back to our regularly scheduled homegrown deviants and cheats. Aaaaah....

Pope J - I think as pope you're entitled to take facials in the Sistine Chapel. Just like Michaelangelo did countless times.
And the cardinals are afraid of your rack because they're not used to 'em - altar boys just aren't that well developed.

9:13 PM, April 19, 2005  
Blogger Katy Barzedor said...

Tardist, did you say that to Mom? 'Cause you know how she loves to hear people talk about a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

Heh heh maybe one of us should write about that...

7:40 AM, April 20, 2005  

Post a Comment

<< Home